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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that some people genuinely do live a charmed life?

111 replies

lallywag · 17/08/2014 23:07

I know a couple of women that do genuinely seem to lead a charmed life. I know everyone has their own issues and problems, but they don't seem to have the obstacles that many others have, and do just seem to sail through life with constant good fortune.

I know that some people say that there is no such thing as a charmed life but I do think that some people have it easier than others.

OP posts:

TheWordFactory · 18/08/2014 18:53

People say this about me.

I think part of it is I have had a lot of luck or at least no bad luck IYSWIM.

Also, as someone said upthread, I kind of assume things will go well (dreadful optimist) so that often has its own momentum.

Also, I dispise whinging. So I don't do it.

A freind said 'you make things look very easy.' But actually, it's just that I don't focus on all the hassle, or certainly don't pass it on...

jeee · 18/08/2014 18:57

Ummm.... the harder you work the more charmed your life is argument is fine - until life gets in the way. My dsis worked bloody hard to complete a degree, despite having a life-limiting illness. She then managed to acquire spinal cord damage. She's dead now. No amount of hard work made her life easy.

In many ways I do have a 'charmed life' - lovely dh, with well-paid job, four healthy children, nice (if very tatty!) house. But you know what, we've just been very, very lucky. And it would just take an accident or serious illness to bring everything tumbling down. In the meantime, we try to enjoy our life, because we do appreciate our luck. And we certainly don't think, 'we've worked hard, so we deserve this.'

weegiemum · 18/08/2014 19:03

We've thought for years that pretty much anything they want seems to fall into BIL and his wife's lap.

Until we thought about it and saw what they have! Woah they've got low expectations! If their life fell in my lap I'd not thank you for it.

It does seem to take up a huge amount of other peoples time (esp MIL) but if that doesn't bother you (and I've made a point of it not bothering me) then it's all ok.

LumionaMoonsplash · 18/08/2014 19:12

Its an interesting concept which I'm not sure I believe. For example, NDN were the quintessential family when they moved in, had loads of money to do up the house straight away, regular car changes. What others didn't see was the vile screaming matches, the fact that she had to return to work after her baby within weeks to payoff their debt and the cars he was selling to try and get some money. I'm envious of those who seem to have it easy but it's never usually all it cracks up to be.

zoemaguire · 18/08/2014 19:15

Good luck (good job, nice house) may be partially down to hard work, but it's cloud cuckoo land to believe that hard work prevents bad luck. Life-threatening illness, bereavement and accidents can all strike from a clear blue sky. My mil once said to me 'oh I live healthily, I won't get cancer' (at the time my dm was going through 5th round of chemo!!) And I just couldn't believe the arrogance. Truly revoltingly self-satisfied and deluded attitude.

Botherations · 18/08/2014 19:53

I would consider my life charmed, I could list loads of fantastic things, dh, children, career easily got etc.

Yet my friends worry about my happiness as dd has special needs. To them it's life changing, to me it doesn't dent the happiness I have or my love.

All relative I guess

Vicky5910 · 18/08/2014 20:14

I've been accused of having a charmed life... People just don't realise the struggles of others. I am really positive and chat happily about life in general. I know how lucky I am. Apparently that meant I was trying to engage in a game of "keeping up with the Jones' "

FreudiansSlipper · 18/08/2014 20:19

Some people have more problems in their life and some sadly have many ongoing issues

It is not all down to choices you make

What is the perfect life anyway

missingmumxox · 19/08/2014 04:18

I have a charmed life too, only it never was or is ... But it is.
I am constantly told this by people you have a charmed life, I have had depression 4 times reactive, looking after my dad x2 living abroad and great job shit management, made redundant eventually I was never so happy, they gave me 6 months garden leave.
I remember a night out I was wearing some amazing jewellery, my best friend said you are so lucky to have this ... I could have said at the age of 27 well if you consider losing your mum and gran lucky then I will give you that, but actually I let it go, my friend is not an arse she was it thinking

I could bore you with many more examples but charmed is an allusion that said in some cases money can be thrown at it so that does help

missingmumxox · 19/08/2014 04:25

Y friend wasn't thinking

MexicanSpringtime · 19/08/2014 04:50

What is a charmed life? I reckon I've had a pretty easy go of it. I've had my issues but my grandmother lived through extreme childhood poverty, two world wars and a civil war, losing a son in the second world war and I cannot imagine what it must be like to be a Palestinian.

Philoslothy · 19/08/2014 05:24

I have a charmed life and am very grateful for it. I am Mrs average, averagely intelligent , averagely attractive and not particularity hard working . Yet things have fallen into place.

Maalia · 19/08/2014 05:44

From the outside I lead a lovely charmed life and I am sure some of my friends think this of me, but if you scratch under the surface, I have had and still suffered serious health problems, appalling family issues and more. I am however very lucky and thankful for the life I am now leading and I focus on the positive. I also rarely get envious of others because for every good thing they might enjoy, I am also well aware that most people have or will go through their own share of hardships. Until I have walked in their shoes, I don't feel I am allowed to be jealous of their good fortune.

MyGoldenNotebook · 19/08/2014 06:51

I see what you mean OP. Like s

however · 19/08/2014 06:53

Oh, I suppose so.

Then again, some people moan incessantly about stuff that others would simply get on with.

MyGoldenNotebook · 19/08/2014 06:54

Sorry - like some others on here I know a few people who seem to 'sail through'. I largely think it's nice to know that such happiness and comfort is possible in the world. I can be rather cynical and I'm quite an anti-social type these days.

Personally I think my life has been a bit of a mixed bag - like most people.

whattheseithakasmean · 19/08/2014 07:02

Some people do have a charmed life & attitude is nothing to do with it.

My MIL has had the life of Riley, but she is a moany old bag.

I have friends who have suffered terribly, but are wonderful, positive inspirational people.

Some people are just lucky and some people aren't, it is silly to pretend otherwise.

NutcrackerFairy · 19/08/2014 07:16

MaryWestacott I am not sure you can 'choose' what to be interested in though.

So my DB was 'lucky' to be interested in a particular field from a very early age... and then was able to translate this into a fantastic job.

I guess I am a bit envious as I was never able to do the same and had to work towards my career, which I entered as I thought I would find it interesting but I don't really actually...

And I'm definitely not that well paid either.

Probably poor planning on my behalf. I feel a bit stuck now as I have to work to put food on the table and wouldn't be able to take time off to study or re-train.

hesterton · 19/08/2014 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

empathetic · 21/08/2014 11:27

Yes, a lot is point of view. I know someone who won the lottery jackpot but regarded himself as UNlucky because he had to share it with another winner

PoirotsMoustache · 21/08/2014 11:41

I agree with you to an extent, OP. I come from a family of 5 siblings. A couple of us have had pretty much everything handed to us on a plate/dropped in our laps. The rest of us have worked hard all our lives and are no further forward really than we were 10 years ago.

ChickenFajitaAndNachos · 21/08/2014 12:39

I feel I have a charmed life. I grew up poor but am well of now. I'm a half full person and not really a risk taker. When things have come up in life I try and find a way to sort them out. My philosophy has been not to worry about things out of my control and if things are in my control and need fixing, get a plan and get on with it.
I am really thankful for what I have.

newpup · 21/08/2014 12:49

I think I have a charmed life and I thank the universe every day for it :-) I grew up in a large, loving home in the countryside. I went to excellent schools and university. I have had the benefit that a good education offers and I married a wonderful man who adores me. I had 2 beautiful, healthy DDs with out any problems and we live a very lucky, privileged life. BUT I have had the bad stuff too! I have lost my beloved father far too young and I have lost 2 very dear friends with young children. These were awful times but it makes me even more grateful for my wonderful life.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2014 12:54

Some people definitely do.

SorryForTheTypos · 21/08/2014 13:11

PhaedraIsMyName
Working hard to exploit the advantages I had has helped too of course.

I think this is key.

I found school easy so I was lucky there to be born with a quick brain, but after uni I applied for jobs - throughly reasearching the company, the management styles of its execs etc, practised interview skills, tried to improve my faults etc and through a series of jobs which have been demanding, underpaid, logistically tough etc, I'm now in a well paid role which is frankly a bit of a doddle. I might have had a bit of a boost by being "clever" but I didn't rely on that alone - I worked hard to enhance it.

Similarly, DH and I will be mortgage free soon and have a nice (but modest) house in a great area. We had some luck in that we benefitted from rising house prices in the early 2000s enabling us to trade up the house we've got now, but the fact that we owned a house in the first place was because we made the choice to do that rather than go travelling etc like many of our uni friends. At 22 I was working 10-12 hour days with a 2 hour commute. So yes, we had luck, but it was "funded" by hard work and sacrifice.

I appreciate everything I have and I do feel lucky, but I don't think it was only luck that got me here.

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