AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

Thankyou MNHQ.

I hate this:- 'lets all pile into ONE poster' and if that doesn't ''see her off'', 'lets try Mass Reporting her to MNHQ and then they will ban her.
(that has happened a lot to posters all because she/he has posted something that isn't agreed with.).

I have friends in RL who are also mumsnetters who have been victims of this practice.

So pleased you are finally going to be monitoring the persistant 'trouble makers'.

Too many good topics are being spoiled because people, instead of acting like adults and politely disagreeing with somebody, will act like assholes.

God I'm so torn between tutting at the speculation and desperately wanting a PM.
My brain has its own good cop/bad cop.

Worra I apologise if I have stepped out of line.

a. Perhaps I wouldn't have assumed she was MRA if the invasions from other sites wernt such a regular occurrence which then just gets shrugged off.

b. I think the reason many are extremely annoyed was that the remark about concentration camps was shockingly offensive and nothing anyone has said on this thread has even come close.

I really wouldn't worry about this poster, she is most thick skinned poster i have ever seen

Don't apologise to me, honestly

I was just thinking the general negative comments when she's not actually on the thread, were a bit like whispering IYSWIM.

But yes, I've only just seen the comment you mean and it was very offensive.

I knew it.

Jeez and now this person has been outed?!

You've read the opening post, right?

Oooh Biwi, you might just get yourself a deletion there fluffylamb.

She's been named on several threads already.

... mainly because of the way she posts/what she posts - not difficult to spot.

The concentration camp remark was so offensive, I considered reporting it.

However, I've seen JaneParker posting a lot on obesity and this is not typical of her:
She has great difficulty accepting that some people can't manage to lose weight or make a lot of money, but I think she actually tries to be kind (she's just no good at it)

Yes, I'd figured she was a "name", but cba to deduce which.

You'll be in good company, BIWI - I got deleted a couple of months ago for suggesting JP was you-know-who; she came onto a Tony Benn thread to have a pop at fat people. How she managed to bring obesity into a thread about TB I don't remember

That doesn't make it right BIWI

I only report if someone is deliberately nasty, not just very tactless or having unpopular views.

I heard about the Tony Benn one !
And Kipling was unexpected on the Fat thread.
She is VERY eccentric sometimes.

..... tries to be kind !!!!!!!

All this talk made me go & read her posts - I really like her! ( never heard of her until today though )

Really?

JP is one of the most identifiable posters on this forum. She doesn't try to hide her identity. She is often on the radio etc.

I find her comments are often extremely harsh and patronising but due to her superior intelligence she is careful not to get deleted. It's a shame as she is clearly an intelligent and hard working person who does have 'some' good things to say.

Yes, e.g. on the Fat Thread, she defends overweight people wrt airline seats.

She's the type who kindly digs out a sticking plaster from the depths of her handbag and sticks it on your cut finger .... but her handbag clonks your nose while she's bending over.

Oh shakey, you are not such an oldie then after all.

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at "tries to be kind"

I don't think she has an ounce of authentic intelligence in her. She is a bot.

Ethical, she might be most identifiable (not that I identified her cos I don't really know her style), but unless she actually stated who she is/was, it's not for other posters to do it for her.

Where would that end and what would be the point in name changing, if everyone felt it was ok to out them?