...to expect my SAHM iron my shirt.

[burgatroyd]

We are having this discussion over breakfast and I have borrowed her tablet and mn name to pose this question.
She has a three year old at part time nursery and a five month old. I work full time in an office. I offered to iron my shirts but she does them. They are often creased, my opinion, but she feels they are good enough.

For instance one shirt had a creased line down the buttons and I had to wear a tie. I pointed this out.

Am I being unreasonable pointing out the creases?

[MellowAutumn]

Love the bizarre world of MN where no sham does anything except childcare as if they are a fucking Norland Nanny. That is not to say she has to iron your shirts !! Other is no right formula is there despite what MN might think - if you work ridiculous hours then I would say she should iron your shirts and yea to be honest to a reasonable standard but if you are just a bog standard worker IRon your own.

[RufusTheReindeer]

If she isn't doing them right and you are happy to do them yourself then you should do it

I live near a navel area and know a few police officers, the vast vast majority of them iron their own uniform (can't think of any navy I know that don't do this but obviously I'm not au fai with the entire fleet)

Another friend of mine used to get them washed and ironed at the drycleaners

[MellowAutumn]

Ooh look cross post with bloodywoman - somethings you just need common sense for

[Marcelinewhyareyousomean]

Abland for your there is no offer Yoda quote.

Maybe a Matrix ' there is no crease' could work too?

[sashh]

It's the school holiday isn't it?

Or are we doing AIBU from the 1950s?

[fluffyraggies]

This is going to run and run now. The feminist connotations of ironing.

What is wrong with him asking her to leave the shirts on a chair so that he can iron them himself? Isn't that what we've all been telling him to do?

What on earth is the point of him putting on a wash with just 5 shirts when there is washing going on all week? Ludicrous.

[TwinkleDust]

You should do all the ironing. She has enough on her plate. Problem solved.

[Trapper]

If I were 'your SAHP', not only would the shirts be creased, but I would have starched the creases to make sure they last all day x

[ithoughtofitfirst]

This is the bit of being a sahm that absolutely sucks. People always questioning what you do.

All I know is a work solidly from the time I wake up til bedtime doing housework. With the occasional MN

[SanityClause]

Whether or not people think it the responsibility of a SAHM to iron shirts for her partner is, in a way, irrelevant.

It is outrageous to criticise her work. Who do you think you are? You're not her employer. You're her equal partner.

I'm pleased to see that you have decided to iron your own shirts. I remind you that this is your decision. Your DP is not "making" you iron them. You are choosing to do so.

[Deverethemuzzler]

I am confused.

Are you the three year old or the 5mth old?

[ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy]

Thanks marcelline.

Fluffy, it works for DH because he has about 3 weeks' worth of shirts. But equally OP could wash his shirts for the week on a Friday night along with anything else in the washing pile at that time. It's more efficient, in electricity and time, to do batch ironing.

[FolknNorah]

Do you babysit your kids so she can go out?

[Vagndidit]

LTB.

Oh wait...

[fluffyraggies]

I concur that 15 shirts is an acceptable wash load ABI

(washing machine is on 3 times a day every day in this house - so i'm slightly 'wash-load economy' obsessed)

[BabyMarmoset]

This is a hilarious thread.

For what it's worth... If you clean the counter and miss a bit, or if you forget to take the bin out, or do a bad job of changing te baby- does she point it out? If so then it's not exactly terrible that you point out she's ironed a couple of creases in... Just as long as you don't expect her to do anything about it.

If you don't do any of the above the obviously she should leave you instantly.

[FolknNorah]

I do what buffy does too and if DH has the iron out and there are some of my things/kids things that need it then he'll do that to.
Isn't that normal?

(I should point out that normally nothing except his shirts and trousers and a few of my summer things ever get ironed.)

[ZanyMobster]

I agree with Mellow surely you do whatever works for you, when I was a SAHM I did the cooking, cleaning, anything house related and of course looked after the DCs. That was the point of me being at home. Now I am working things are different.

I really can't see why it is so awful according to MN to do domestic stuff when you are a SAHP.

That said, if DH ever complained how I did something then he could do it himself, I am crap at ironing so DH used to do it all anyway as he is quite fussy, he didn't complain he just did it.

[TheFirstOfHerName]

There is no offer. Only iron or not iron.

We need a little Yoda smiley.

[Pagwatch]

I think perhaps she is the Keeper of the Iron. I think she's abusive tbh, she is controlling the iron and the board. He is clearly so used to her insistence upon wrinkles that he lacks the self esteem to steam.
[sadface]

[UriGeller]

"If tha wants summat done properly. Do it thi sen"*

[Numanoid]

I think you'd have more luck if you posted this the other way round, e.g. "My husband works full-time, and asked if I could iron his shirts" etc. I think most people will read the first line, then almost instantly say "unreasonable"!
Which is interesting, considering the thread we just had on men 'not being able to do anything right' housework-wise. You, as a man, are saying the exact same thing but being flamed for it.

Although in this case, you could just iron them yourself, and ask her not to do so. :)

[UriGeller]

If you used her mn account, she's going to see this anyway. Its a bit passive aggressive isn't it?

Perhaps a nice thing would be to say, "Darling, you have so much to do, what with caring for our children and the house, from now on I will do the ironing. Not just my own stuff, but ALL the ironing giving you a bit of a chance to have a life of your own, watch a film in peace or perhaps do a wordsearch or jigsaw puzzle"