...to expect my SAHM iron my shirt.

[burgatroyd]

We are having this discussion over breakfast and I have borrowed her tablet and mn name to pose this question.
She has a three year old at part time nursery and a five month old. I work full time in an office. I offered to iron my shirts but she does them. They are often creased, my opinion, but she feels they are good enough.

For instance one shirt had a creased line down the buttons and I had to wear a tie. I pointed this out.

Am I being unreasonable pointing out the creases?

[Munchmallow]

Your partner?

[burgatroyd]

I will ask her to drape my shirts on the back of the chair after she has done the washing and I will iron them. Thank you for advice

[DoItTooJulia]

But what's actually your point?

Your DP should iron them?
Your DP shouldn't iron them?
Your DP has time to iron them and you don't?
You want a medal for working full time in an office?

[MrsMook]

Just do them yourself.

Do does his own laundry because it's personal care. I'm not increasing my laundry load by 20-25% when he's perfectly capable and managed long before he met me. I do the tasks which are of a family benefit.

Looking after a 5 month old is plenty to fill your time.

[fluffyraggies]

Glad to hear it OP :)

[Lala83]

Actually had to check this wasn't my husband lol! It's hard to iron with little kids around. You end up rushing it and doing a rubbish job as you are more concerned about safety so try and cram it in nap time. Why not offer to take children out of the way for an hour at the weekend while she cracks on with shirts and watches a bit if Telly? I would love this! Although my husband tends to do his own whenever he gets the time as he likes them perfect too.

[Missda]

Do them yourself.
I absolutely hate your thread title.
It makes your DP sound like a possession.
Just out of curiosity how often do you have your children alone?

[arethereanyleftatall]

Has your partner told you to ask mn? For she would know that you would get unanimous yabu for the question.

I do think the sahm should do all chores, yes. But I'm not sure I would be best pleased if my dh complained that something wasn't done right.
I remember from maternity leave second time around, that looking after a toddler and a baby was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

[mrstiggy]

She is looking after your children so you can work. That does not make her your cleaner or your housemaid. It is not her job to be a mother to you. Try being a grown up, she has been kind enough to help you by taking a chore that you should be doing, say thank you and decline the help if it's not how you like it.

[MissBeans]

Lolz. Yes you are being unreasonable. Just take the shirts & iron them yourself!

[FunkyBoldRibena]

I will ask her to drape my shirts on the back of the chair after she has done the washing and I will iron them.

Or...you could wash them yourself too.

Just for info; SAHM means 'stay at home mother'. Not 'stay at home and do everything in the household monster'. She is staying at home to look after your kids; you should be doing half of the other stuff that she hasn't had time to do during the hours that you are working when you get home from work.

[ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy]

Here's how it works in my house, where we have no SAHM. DH has a basket just for shirts, runs a wash just for shirts, tumble dries them to damp and then has a big ironing session.

Ownership of the whole cycle. It's the way forward.

[Scrumbled]

Sorry another one laughing at MY SAHM and SHE has children.

When I was a SAHM to our children my dp always ironed his own shirts. He'd been ironing work shirts since 16, I didn't start working in offices until my early 20's and never had to wear a proper shirt. He's the one with the shirt ironing skills. He took on ironing the kids shirts when they started school.

I don't think he ever needed to start much of a discussion about it. A few time I was being nice and ironed them, he did them again and told me they needed to be smarter. I went OK.

Is she offended? Just say thanks very much dp for taking on this job for me but don't worry.

[Picklepest]

Her being a sahm appears to have nothing to do with the question. Either you iron. Or she does as someone else said. Your shirts, your responsibility.

By criticising after you are actually trying to demean her aren't you? The words you were looking for are either thank you or let me help you by taking to an ironing firm so you can do the job your supposed to be, looking after your child.

[SanityClause]

She's not your mother.

If you're not happy with them, do it yourself.

[hairypaws]

Ha ha my dh did this, I've never ironed a thing for him since.

[oxfordmumma1]

Are the children yours op? It sounds from your op that there aren't.

[oxfordmumma1]

Are the children yours op? It sounds from your op that there aren't.

[OneDreamOnly]

Oh dear.... My Dh does the ironing and sometimes it's not up to my standards but you know what? I wouldn't dare saying anything to him. If I'm not happy then imo, I should be doing it myself.

As for telling her to put the clothes on the back of the chair .... words fail me. You do realise that 1- you're not her boss to tell her how to do things and 2-if you've never done all the ironing day in day out, I'm not sure you have any rights to comment and offer 'advise'.

fwiw yes putting the clothes at the back of a chair is a good idea but I would have thought that anyone who had done ironing on a regular basis would have known that. I am therefore assuming that 1- you've ever actually done any ironing and 2-you are quite happy to dish out advise wo actually checking it's a workable system so you are either very trusting (too trusting) or stupid.

[Thumbwitch]

No, don't drape them on the back of the chair! Presumably once they're ironed, they go on hangers, yes?
Then hang them on the hangers damp/straight out of the wash.
That's what I do with DH's shirts - some of them dry well enough that they don't need to be ironed, but it's at DH's discretion. If he thinks that his shirt for the day needs ironing, then he irons it - if he thinks it's ok, then he doesn't bother.
It's a very good system, works very well for us, no resentment, no worrying about inadequate ironing standards, and the shirts are on hangers so easy to access.

[OneDreamOnly]

Your SAHM, her children.... who are you OP?
So I'm assuming you're not the father of these 2 dcs, incl the 5 months old? And she is ... your mum too? Or are you are expecting her to treat you as a child, all helpless and incapable?

And what the heck does the fact she is a SAHM has to do with ironing the shirts incorrectly? Are you trying to suggest that because she is a SAHM she should do it and do it right? Or that somehow it has made you 'better' than her and you can give advise on things you haven't clue about?

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

DH washes and irons his own work uniforms.

[SleepRefugee]

Don't "offer" to iron your own shirts, just iron them yourself.

I recommend you read a book called "Wifework" - a real eye opener.

BTW, I bet "your SAHM" works at least equally as hard looking after those 2 children as you in your office job.

[fatedtopretend]

This thread is horrible.

OP, will your wife get offended if you ask her to leave shirts for you and did she ask you to post here to ask? If she did it was a really nasty thing of
her to do.

In your position I would probably not put the shirts in the wash basket and, as a previous poster said, do the full cycle of wash to iron of just your shirts.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, a SAHM should keep house, a part of that is ironing.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I think you should both reach an agreement to do what suits you.

There's no right or wrong imo.