...to expect my SAHM iron my shirt.

[burgatroyd]

We are having this discussion over breakfast and I have borrowed her tablet and mn name to pose this question.
She has a three year old at part time nursery and a five month old. I work full time in an office. I offered to iron my shirts but she does them. They are often creased, my opinion, but she feels they are good enough.

For instance one shirt had a creased line down the buttons and I had to wear a tie. I pointed this out.

Am I being unreasonable pointing out the creases?

[IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi]

So then why haven't you done them if her efforts aren't up to scratch? Did she beg you to let her do them or hide all your shirts? If not then instead of offering just get on with doing them

[FlossyMoo]

Just iron them yourself on a morning. If she asks why you are doing it just say sorry but they are creased.

I really don't see the issue unless she is hiding the iron from you

[Lightshines]

OP - just to clarify, is this your own Mother i.e you have much younger siblings? How old are you?

Not that it makes much difference.
Iron your own 'effin clothes. Jeez.

[DoctorTwo]

You want your mum to iron your shirts? It's perfectly possible to hold down a job and iron your own shirts, you know. No need to get your mum to do them.

[Yangsun]

Unbelievable! As someone else has pointed out, she is not your sahm she is her children's. She is also not a housemaid. Don't offer to do it yourself, do it yourself and with a good grace or thank her profusely for what she does for you. If you aren't happy that she is a sahm that is another issue and you two need to discuss it but sham does not = servant. HTH

[LittleBearPad]

Your SAHM? Is she your mother?

Iron them yourself rather than just offering to do it. Actually do it.

[LewisNaiceHamilton]

Tell her that ironing is personal care, and you'd as much expect her to iron your shirts as you would to cut your toenails.

[fluffyraggies]

As with everything else - if you don't like the way someone else does something, do it yourself.

Where's the complication?

[burgatroyd]

No she's my partner

[ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy]

There is no offer. Only iron or not iron.

[MrsKCastle]

Yes, yabu.

Stop 'offering' to do them.

Either a) say 'thank you very much for going to all that effort' and stop bloody complaining

Or b) just do them yourself.

Either way, you need to recognize that it's bloody hard work having a toddler and a baby. And you need to think about the way you're referring to.. what? Your wife? Your partner? Your mother? She is NOT 'your sham'.

[fluffyraggies]

Can you iron a shirt OP? There is a bit of an art to doing it well.

Learn to do it and do it yourself - problem solved.

[twentyten]

Pretty big consensus here. What have you heard? Did you get the responses you expected .

[liz5029]

Why do you have to offer to do it, why not just do it? Does she offer to clean the toilet, did she offer to change the babies nappies or did she just get on with it? You clearly think its her job or else you wouldnt "offer" to do it as if its some big favour. Just do them already

[BlinkingHeck]

DH does his own shirts he prefers to. What's your problem?

[loopylady83]

you shouldn't be so ungrateful at least she did them

[PinkSquash]

Iron then yourself.

[ConcreteElephant]

Problem solved in the Concrete household. DH gets all his shirts done at the subsidised dry cleaners at work. No ironing is done here.

[jacks365]

I offered to iron my shirts!

Your shirts! You don't offer to do what should be your responsibility anyway. Your partner is there to cater for your dc not you. You as an adult can look after yourself.

[MotherBluestocking]

Goodness me give the poor chap a break! If I read the post correctly, the issue is one of etiquette rather than division of labour. Equally no one with a five month old should be expected to do someone else's ironing. My advice would be to insist, sweetly, that she's got far too much on to do his ironing, and do the shirts himself. Hide them if necessary. And perhaps iron some baby clothes while he's at it, as a love thing.

[Ledkr]

Stay at home MOTHER not anything to do with looking after another adult.
She's looking after your children so that you can work in an office, which by the way is hardly the coal face.

A helpless man is extremely unattractive you know.

[ChaChaChaChanges]

I hate this passive-aggressive "I offered to...." shite.

Like you're doing her a favour. Like it's her job to iron your shirts, but you'll generously "help her out".

Either shut up or do them yourself without asking her first.

[Lj8893]

Right forgetting the main point of ironing here.....

in more confused as to why you called your partner YOUR sahm?? And why you called your children HERs?? Are they not your responsibility too??

[Munchmallow]

So your Mum irons your shirts for you?

My son has done his own ironing since he was 10 yrs old. You are spoilt and unreasonable.

Just do it yourself ffs.

[vvviola]

I work part time and I iron DH's shirts because I'm doing my ironing and the small amount of the DC's clothes I can be bothered to iron.

BUT

DH accepts they are done to whatever standard I consider ok, he is very grateful that they are done, and he is responsible for hanging out of washing, collection and disposale of the many weird and wonderful bugs NZ has to offer, and bath time/bedtime routine for DC.

If any of the above did not happen he could do his own shirts and cook his own meals

The same applied when I was briefly a SAHM. I'm not his maid, I'm his wife.