To have told dd2 the truth in a public loo?

[HattyMonkey]

I am on my period, dd2 aged 3 nearly 4 is aware that I bleed sometimes and I have always answered honestly to any questions. In Debenhams today we went to the toilet and she saw I was "on" she said loudly (she has a very carrying voice) "Mummy you have blood does that mean you are not having a baby?" I replied quietly ( I thought) "that's right".

We left the cubicle and woman confronted me in quite an angry manner saying "next time you want to discuss the facts of life with your kid check who is about, my Son is traumatised"

I was so shocked I said nothing, did I do something wrong? I know everyone parents differently but I don't think I did anything wrong.

Carmine I use washable pads with wings

Cheers phaedra or should I call you capt obvious...

I do - of course have that rule, but rather than bore you to death with the architectural idiosyncrasies of our house I shall just say it ain't that straightforward. Also my children have a loose interpretation of 'don't come in when I am in the loo'. With many and varied exceptions, except when you need a biscuit/ drink/ hug/ referee for your argument with a sibling etc.

Ah, ok! I was imagining some sort of fluted moon cup...

No a moon cup would be a very small hat..

I always think moon cups look like those party popper things after they've been pulled.

Whatever happened to the Tampax lady? [Sigh]

Yy cheerful

1scoop I've been jolly good all through the hols so mother let me pack a lovely big chocolate cake in my trunk to share with my chums at supper!

I'm frightfully excited - auntie flo has decided to start paying me visits so dear old Tiggy (the nanny), has sorted me out with my very own sanpro so I don't have to go to matron every month; darling Tight, she's such a brick!

I am genuinely bemused at those posts bemoaning others 'subjecting' their children to the sight of them changing a pad or tampon, accusing them of 'showing' them it (so somehow being exhibitionist), explaining how they would distract their children in the cubicle so they didn't see it and talking about dignity and innocence. I can't imagine what might be at the root of that behaviour but shame, and I imagine it must be horrible to feel that shame about a normal bodily experience.

Picardy your post is beyond ridiculous and I despair. I felt no shame about periods but neither do I feel shame that I never subjected (and I stand by that word) my dc to the contents of my sanitary protection. I'm a nurse by the way and am not ashamed or embarrassed by any bodily functions.

My ds are adults now. Both are caring people and fully aware of how the female body works.

Liking privacy is not a fault and in no way implies a feeling of shame.

Most toilet cubicles are not large enough for twins, so mine stayed outside. When small enough to be in a pushchair there was always a willing, kind person who would stay with them. When toddlers they were perfectly capable of standing outside the door of the cubicle and talk to me. They did as they were told and did not attempt to leave the toilet without me. They were not abducted and I did not fear abduction, or sexual assault in those few moments.
Neither twin saw mw take a pooh or a wee once they were past infanthood. They are normal, well adjusted, intelligent adults.

Way to be ridiculous and passive-aggressively suggest that people whose children have seen them using sanpro are actively desirous of showing them used towels, Chenjin

I couldn't actually give a fuck if you are desirous or not. And I don't do passive aggressive. Hth.

Of course you're NBU OP. Two of my 3 DC were bolters and 2 of them would have been scared to be left outside the door without me so they always came in with me under the age of 5 and sometimes after that age too And of course I didn't 'show' them bloodied sanitary towels or tampons but they did see them. 2 of the DC were the type that liked to ask questions and couldn't be put off until later. My youngest is now 7 so I do get some bathroom privacy these days

And for those people who want to tell their DC about this stuff themselves, well let's hope you do it before the other kids at school tell them untrue stuff instead.

I don't think anyone is disputing that children whose mothers dislike the idea of them seeing their menstrual blood can grow up well adjusted. I don't think this experience is something crucial in the development or otherwise of well-adjustedness. It's the emotive language ('subjecting', 'dignity', 'innocence', 'showing' etc) I don't get, around the issue and against those of us who don't consider it a terrible thing for our children to see our bodily functions and aren't prepared to go to great lengths to ensure it doesn't happen.

Don't worry - that didn't happen. Just as other kids didn't tell them about wet dreams, sex, masturbation etc etc before they got to an age where I deemed they were capable of understanding.

I didn't go to 'great lengths'

Picardy your posts are ridiculous.

This is a long thread but based on the last two posts of Picardy's I just don't see her being ridiculous! Seems sensible to me ..

I think for the women in my family 'great lengths' are necessary to hid evidence of periods. I bleed so heavily I sometimes have to change every hour sometimes more often. I have had to rush to the loo groaning in pain and it is an unpleasantly messy situation I would love to be able to be discreet and contained but in my house I relax and don't prioritise privacy the way others may choose to in their houses with their families.

I am comfortable with this and don't feel I subject anyone to anything - nor do I judge others for making different choices. [Shrugs]

Oh come off it - the little , the accusations that women must go to great lengths to hide their periods, the claims of emotive language, the "I can't imagine what might be at the root of that behaviour but shame, and I imagine it must be horrible to feel that shame about a normal bodily experience". It's all very dramatic and unnecessary, isn't it.

Some of us don't want to show to/let our children see our used sanitary wear. It doesn't mean that we feel shame, or that our children are somehow going to grow up warped in some way. Personally I couldn't give a fig what bodily function you choose to show to/let your children see.

I didn't go to great lengths either. It just didn't happen. And rightly so, imo.

Picardy listen to yourself. All this talk about emotive language is making you sound even more ridiculous.

Poo, wee, wave your tampons around in front of whoever you think appropriate. But don't judge those of us who choose not to.

Wow! 'Ridiculous', 'dramatic', 'unnecessary'!

I think, SirChenjin, going by your last post, that you can in fact see a difference in quality between 'show' and 'let one's children see'?

My dc never saw me on the loo , not once.
I didn't want to, they didn't want to.
Two ds are grown up and know enough about the female anatomy
and dd would have thought it a bit weird if I had suggested she came in with me.
All kids are different though and had I the need for them to be with me then I would have done.

PunkrockerGirl, your 'wave your tampons around' etc is rather reminiscent of those frothy DM-comment posts accusing mothers who bf in public of 'getting their breasts out'.

I don't understand what is embarrassing or shameful about having a period and your children noticing? I don't encourage my children to barge in on me in the toilet but I would never go to extremes to hide a period.