To smoke in the garden at a party?

[fber]

I lit up at a family bbq yesterday. Outside, big garden. The hostess (an inlaw) went a bit off her head and jumped from out of her own arse to right down my throat. Very publicly. There were children there, but they were playing a good way away. I have always done this at her parties, but now she has moved to a different, bigger house (it was a housewarming) it seems the goalposts have moved quite considerably. I was angry and upset at being shouted at like a kid. It's a party, right? A boozy housewarming (her words not mine).

Am I a social pariah?

AIBU?

That cold bit was pure classic.. I managed to choke and have a coughing fit when there was nothing in my mouth

It looks like somebody needs to step away from the keyboard for a bit though before they implode.

which again is interesting because the Australian govt says:

A child who lives in a smoking household for the first 18 months of their life has an increased risk of developing a range of respiratory illnesses including bronchitis, bronchiolitis and pneumonia. They are also more prone to getting colds, coughs and glue ear (middle ear infections). Their lungs show a reduced ability to function and slower growth.

there is a key word in this sentence NameChange. It begins with an L and ends in an E. And it has I and K in the middle.

What I did laugh at, and I was far from the only one, was things like.... "I catch a cold if I walk past a smoker on the street"

are you seeing it yet NameChange?

things like

things like

things LIKE

got it yet ?

What I did laugh at, and I was far from the only one, was things like.... "I catch a cold if I walk past a smoker on the street"

Now please tell me the school holidays are almost over !

Yeah but that poster said a whiff of smoke irritates her sinisus and causes a cold.

so show me the actually quote that what you said was like... search makes it easy.

Namechange, does the Australian government say anything about the effects of passive smoking OUTDOORS at a barbeque? Or do they say anything about any studies into people contracting the common cold from walking past a smoker? In fact, do they say anything at all whatsoever in in the slightest that would have anything to do with this thread?

That cold bit was pure classic.. I managed to choke and have a coughing fit when there was nothing in my mouth

Are you sure the coughing fit and choking wasn't caused by the man 3 streets away lighting up as he got out of his car?

Hilarious. You're outside, go ahead and smoke. Breathing in car fumes and BBQ smoke and chimney smoke isn't any better, and passively, one cigarette, on one evening, will NOT kill anyone. I hope she was policing how much people were drinking, woe betide the children be exposed to social alcoholism. Sigh. I miss smoking.

Heh could have been

Actually name change the smoking thing was you. 9.04am yesterday.

*smoking cold thing

this is what I actually said:

i don't think about passive smoking when near a smoker, as the risk is tiny but i do think how anti social the habit is. it makes my nose itch and if i am with a smoker or in their house for a few hours, i am likely to end up with a cold.

and ^of course a fag smoke does not contain germs. but it leave my sinuses feeling very sore and then a cold develops.

strangely enough I enough my own nose better than someone on the internet.^

I should not have sworn at anyone on this thread. apologies.

Thank you name change. I think it takes a lot to apologise on a thread that has wound you up and I respect people who are able to do so.

Will you also admit that at no point did I laugh at your DP's illness or the effects of second hand smoke in enclosed spaces?

Plenty - what i said was so find it hilarious and interesting if you like. you clearly have no idea how bad crohns is.

I did not say you were laughing at his illness. you were laughing at me. but 20 years ago many people with crohns died.

now they take the same drugs as someone who has had a heart transplant to stop their immune system attacking their gut. the drugs are very harmful and he has to have his liver checked to ensure the drugs dont damage it.

many people with crohns need surgery to remove problem parts of the gut. they have an increased risk of bowel cancer and obstructions and need frequent trips to the GP, consultant and hospital.

anything can trigger a flare up and once it does it continues for month. v severe pain and problems eating

Those 3 paragraphs - that's my loves life. to never goes away.

so I am for sure more anti smoking than most people (look at the effect on children and smoking and crohns). but its not for funny or interesting reasons.

so i dont think your posts were fair to me. but aside from that i dont think its okay to accuse other posters of exaggerating and mock them.

that said, I am sorry I swore at you. that was wrong of me.

Oh look, the swearing is neither here nor there. Swear, don't swear, hard to give a fuck, unless it's a direct attack on someone, e.g. 'fuck off' (please do NOT quote that out of context and try to imply that I have just told you to fuck off, I haven't).

You know exactly what I found hilarious because it was in the post you copied and pasted from. Here it is again:

It's hard to 'minimise' the already utterly minimal effects of someone smoking:

• outdoors
• nowhere near you
• at a party with a barbecue

... which is actually what this thread is about. Some of you are determined to maximise the effects of that, with hilarious consequences. I find it all very interesting.

------
I am sorry about your DP's Crohn's and I am sorry if your experience of that has given you a totally unrealistic sense of the dangers of being far away from someone who is smoking outdoors. That must be hard to deal with.

It's still not on to accuse me of laughing at your DP's illness. Because I didn't and because it's a very nasty accusation.

These are the posts that bother me the most:

so find it hilarious and interesting if you like. you clearly have no fucking idea how bad crohns is.

that ok. I'll take that are your apology for minimising the real medical effects of smoking on others.

I am quite entitled to throw a wobbly when dickheads minimise the effects of smoking on others.

You have accused me of laughing at your DP's illness and minimising the effects of SHS. I have done neither. That is why I am pissed off.

I'm having a bbq tomorrow. If anyone is still debating the original point... You are all welcome. The nonsmoking area is inside.

Plenty - we are not going to agree. i don't think i owe you a further apology.

but look --- we are only strangers discussing something on the internet. so whether you want to leave this or not, I am. RL is far more important.

This entire thread seems to me to come down to two simple propositions.

1. Owner of the house is perfectly entitled to say she doesn't want people to smoke in her garden.

1. However, she seems to have been ridiculously rude about it.

Is there really much else to say?

Owner of the house is perfectly entitled to say she doesn't want people to smoke in her garden.

I would agree with that summation, but just add that many of us, while totally understanding a home owners rights to ban smoking in a garden at a bbq, find it ridiculous/intolerant/hilarious. We're entitled to that too.

and I entitled to think that people that find such things hilarious and ridiculous, distasteful and narrow minded behaviour.

i don't think i owe you a further apology

That's fine. As I said, people can read.

blubirdy nooo you are not allowed to find people's ridiculousness ridiculous because that means you agree with smokers blowing smoke all over unwell people in enclosed spaces ... or something.

Peace everyone.
I agree with icimoi
As a smoker who has not (yet) given up successfully all I can say is that this thread makes me want to go in the garden and chain smoke!!
I cannot believe such an innocent post has created such a hullabaloo.

It is all a matter of perspective and give and take as so eloquently explained by previous posts.

Live & Let Live...and if you can't: Get a Life.