To smoke in the garden at a party?

[fber]

I lit up at a family bbq yesterday. Outside, big garden. The hostess (an inlaw) went a bit off her head and jumped from out of her own arse to right down my throat. Very publicly. There were children there, but they were playing a good way away. I have always done this at her parties, but now she has moved to a different, bigger house (it was a housewarming) it seems the goalposts have moved quite considerably. I was angry and upset at being shouted at like a kid. It's a party, right? A boozy housewarming (her words not mine).

Am I a social pariah?

AIBU?

Well fucking sorry for being pregnant Pictish.

Yeah such a delicate flower, guess nothings ever made you feel sick? Do you like the smell of fresh dogshit?

Mind if I hold some under your nose for a bit? It won't kill you flower.

hehehe

yes, if they are far enough away, I won't be able to smell it, unless I am downwind. But if I ask the smoker to move away from me, I am picking on them, aren't I?

Your garden = your rules, but that doesn’t mean all rules are reasonable, hospitable or tolerant.

Public place, I wouldn’t call it ”picking on them” to ask them to move. I would say you are putting the onus on the wrong person and being unreasonable. If you have an issue with a normal and legal behaviour, then surely the onus is on you to move. Couple of weeks back we were out having a nice quiet drink when the world cup was on, some quite drunk supporters came and sat at the table next to us. I didn’t particularly like their silly antics, so we moved. That’s surely the way it should be. People are allowed to be tipsy and a bit loud in a pub.

If your neighbour suffers from frequent headaches, you would have no issue with her asking you to keep your kids indoors so as to not trigger one of her heads? Or do you take the more sensible approach that kids are allowed to make “normal noise” in gardens and publics spaces. Which is the approach I take with smoking.

The way I see it, many of you in this thread have extremely rare and extremely excessive adverse reactions to cigarette smoke. So rare, and so extreme, many are frankly unbelievable. You want smokers to accommodate your extremely rare reactions to their habit. So what if I am (I’m not btw) extremely sensitive to noise and over-active behaviour. Would you mind me coming up to you at Costa’s or Starbucks and asking you to go sit somewhere else with your kids, because they are triggering my sensitive ears with their louder than normal voices, or their general “kid behavior”. I assume none of you would have issues with that and would get up immediately and go and sit somewhere else with your kids?

Well fucking sorry for being pregnant Pictish

Yeah such a delicate flower, guess nothings ever made you feel sick? Do you like the smell of fresh dogshit?

Mind if I hold some under your nose for a bit? It won't kill you flower

by the sounds of things it not just certain smells that trigger excessive reactions with you, this post seems to be triggering some fairly strong, some would argue not at all reasonable, reactions too. Is it possible you are just a person that doesn't react well to many of life's little inconveniences? You know, like people smoking, or having a different opinion to you?

loads of asthmatics react badly to smoke. people with crohns are advised to stay away from smoke as it produces an immune system response.

and loads of people don't want their clothes to smell of smoke. you are just minimising the hassle that smokers cause other people.

loads of asthmatics react badly to smoke. people with crohns are advised to stay away from smoke as it produces an immune system response.

stay away from people who smoke is different than saying people shouldn't be allowed to smoke, or should be vilified for doing so. Staying away from something we don't like is the right thing to do, it places the responsibility on us.

and loads of people don't want their clothes to smell of smoke. you are just minimising the hassle that smokers cause other people

or are you just exaggerating the hassles caused?

I don't want a whiff of Lynx body spray, I don't want the smell from their too powerful cheapo bodyspray to permeate my clothing... but I am not calling for it to be banned, or making vilifying posts on MN about the people who wear it, or demanding that people who wear Lynx shouldn't sit in public spaces, or trying to make out like I vomit or get a cold when I smell it.

easy to find:

from bupa www.bupa.co.uk/individuals/health-information/directory/p/passive-smoking

Short-term effects:
Being exposed to second-hand smoke is generally pretty unpleasant – it may give you a headache, cough or sore throat. It can also irritate your eyes and make you feel sick or dizzy. If you have asthma, being in a smoky place may make your symptoms worse. And of course, although the smell of smoke on your clothes and hair may be less serious healthwise, it’s often more irritating.

and some more:

"Children who are exposed to second-hand smoke are at an increased risk of a number of serious conditions, including:

bronchitis and pneumonia
asthma
coughing and wheezing
middle ear infections

There is also some evidence to suggest that being exposed to second-hand smoke may make existing conditions worse, decrease children’s ability to smell and reduce mental development."

Isn't that referring to children sharing a home or car or whatever with a smoker, rather than someone having a fly puff at the bottom of the garden at a party?

Perspective please.

being in a smoky place may make your symptoms worse

NameChange, we're not talking of being IN a smokey place, we're talking of smoking gardens and outdoor places. Your posts are irrelevant. No one is talking about indoor/enclosed spaces.

its a copy from bupa. anyway the previous post (also from bupa) could apply to a smoker at a party

Being exposed to second-hand smoke is generally pretty unpleasant – it may give you a headache, cough or sore throat. It can also irritate your eyes and make you feel sick or dizzy.

as we keep telling you.

"...The way I see it, many of you in this thread have extremely rare and extremely excessive adverse reactions to cigarette smoke. So rare, and so extreme, many are frankly unbelievable..."

Are you saying we are lying, blubirdy? I would resent that, as I know I am telling the truth, and see no reason to disbelieve others on here either. Of course, if you can convince yourself that we are all lying, and no-one ever has an extremely adverse reaction to cigarette smoke, then you have one more reason not to give a shit about how other people feel about the smell/effects of fag smoke.

NameChange, you're not making much any sense. If you are going to use this incredibly flimsy argument, then you are going to have to define what exposure is. When it is very dangerous (like 20 chain smoking adults in a bus with a child) and when the risk is non existent (like, 2 people on diagonal opposite corners of a football field, one smokes, the other is at no risk.

Are you saying we are lying, blubirdy?

If she's not, I am. I don't believe that being in the same street/park/hemisphere as a smoker would cause all these issues - unless other things do too. In which case it's your immune system that's the problem.

If it's just fag smoke then I'm sorry, but I think you're just over-reacting & the "problem" is psychosomatic rather than physical....

SDT, get off your high horse, I don't even smoke. I just don't believe, like in the example above, that 2 men on opposite corners of a football field, that the non-smoking man could throw up, or catch a cold, from the other man's smoke. I have a different view if we're talking of 2 men, 1 who is a smoker, locked in my airing cupboard.

If people do ever catch cold because of irritated sinuses due to cigarette smoke, then it stands to reason, other air pollutants, other strong smells must also trigger the same chain of reactions. It can't just be cigarette smoke.

And I have answered your question. Would you please answer mine with regards removing kids from outdoor spaces if people with sensitive ears/prone to headaches asks you to.

Sure Blubirdy, that MUST be it.

Damn, here I was thinking it was the clouds of smoke outside maternity making me retch.

When actually it was just my inability to deal with the little disappointments in life.

Like throwing up in a hospital reception.

As unbelievable as you may think it is for people to react adversely to smoke, it really really isn't.

I don't care if you smoke. Knock yourself out. In your own home, walking past me up the street. Kill yourself with my absolute blessing.

The only problem I have is when some smokers are inconsiderate rude wankers, assuming it's their privilege to clog up thoroughfares or light up right next to me.

other strong smells

yes I don't wear perfume but if you do, it does not transfer to my clothes without physically contact.

of course this debate is immaterial. we have the smoking laws and they will only get tougher. on smoking.

and taxes will go up.

boo hoo
boo hoo
I am weeping.

I don't care if you smoke. Knock yourself out. In your own home, walking past me up the street. Kill yourself with my absolute blessing

I don't smoke and never have. But hey, congrats in getting through your last post without sounding totally unstable, like you did in the one previous to that.

of course this debate is immaterial

I never said the debate is immaterial, I said the points you were bringing to it were. Everyone is talking about smoking in gardens and outdoor places, your points about enclosed spaces is totally moot.

blu - you aint the thread police so i will bring to thread what i like - just like everyone else

I thought she meant me

If you are very sensitive to smoke then attending a barbecue is not a great idea in the first place. There is nothing particularly special about tobacco smoke - any smoke will cause you similar damage if inhaled.

Someone having a fag outdoors, having moved well away from other people, at a party where there's a barbecue FFS, is of no consequence whatsoever.