To smoke in the garden at a party?

[fber]

I lit up at a family bbq yesterday. Outside, big garden. The hostess (an inlaw) went a bit off her head and jumped from out of her own arse to right down my throat. Very publicly. There were children there, but they were playing a good way away. I have always done this at her parties, but now she has moved to a different, bigger house (it was a housewarming) it seems the goalposts have moved quite considerably. I was angry and upset at being shouted at like a kid. It's a party, right? A boozy housewarming (her words not mine).

Am I a social pariah?

AIBU?

She sounds like a delight, blubirdy - but I am sure you were more than a match for her!

Family rather than friends Blubirdy, and I can't choose them :)

So after 18 pages the upshot is that some people are wankers and some people are not and there are smokers and non-smokers in each group? Who'd a thought it? Turned out nice again

if you are a smoker and as this thread shows, you minimise the effects of you actions on others, you will act without consideration for others.

yes of course non smokers can be selfish but that is not relevant to this debate, which is about smoking!

I always love a good anti-smoking thread on here , as an addict myself ,with i hope a little bit of insight into my addiction , it always makes me chuckle at the sheer stupidity of smoking and the myriad of reasons that we smokers use to defend our posistion . We dont actually have a posistion , or the only one we have is we are addicted to nicotine and if we aren't allowed to have it , it makes us a bit uncomfortable and grouchy . But that would just come across as a bit entitled if we used that as an excuse wouldn't it

plenty

But I no longer smoke NameChange, and blubirdy is also a non-smoker

It's hard to 'minimise' the already utterly minimal effects of someone smoking:

• outdoors
• nowhere near you
• at a party with a barbecue

... which is actually what this thread is about. Some of you are determined to maximise the effects of that, with hilarious consequences. I find it all very interesting.

as I have side upthread, if someone was far away outside, fine. but my experience of various smokers is:

1. lighting up in my studio flat saying 'its ok if I smoke here isnt is?' - errr no this is my bedroom....

2)friends ex how blew smoke in your face I think thinking he was sexy....but it would take quite a lot for an old, sweaty, alcoholic to be sexy...

3. MIL saying 'don't stay in a b&b, I wont smoke while you're here'. and then just smokes anyway & DP has crohns and asthma and ends up wheezing.

4. house guest 'smoking outside' but means near door so whole downstairs smells of smoke

.... so my faith that smokers would consider others it pretty low. there may be space for them to move away from others, but that does not mean they will use it.

so fit it hilarious and interesting if you like. you clearly have no fucking idea how bad crohns is.

so find it hilarious and interesting if you like. you clearly have no fucking idea how bad crohns is.

But you are not going to notice all the considerate smokers who move away from you because they have moved away. It's a self-selecting sample. It's like people without children who think all children are annoying because it's only the annoying ones who come to their attention.

It's as if you think smokers are a completely different sort of person. They're not, they're just people who happen to smoke.

The thread isn't about any of the examples you give.

you are not the fucking thread police.

stop minimising my experiences.

It's as if you think smokers are a completely different sort of person.

I think they addicted and as a result in denial about the effects on others.

Erm, not all smokers are in denial surely?

Me: It's hard to 'minimise' the already utterly minimal effects of someone smoking:

• outdoors
• nowhere near you
• at a party with a barbecue

... which is actually what this thread is about. Some of you are determined to maximise the effects of that, with hilarious consequences. I find it all very interesting.

NameChange Yes but completely different situation involving smoking indoors near someone who is unwell. How very dare you find that funny.

Me That's not what it's about

Namechange wah wah wah you're minimising my experience bla bla thread police

Is it just me or this a bit silly?

god this is tedious. clearly I have not met all smokers.

however based on my experience, I have a low expectation of smokers considering the effects of their choices on others.

pubes ..I have already said a smoker far away is fine. on a number of occasions...

so why do I have to keep saying it?

maybe we just agree a considerate smoker is fine ...so we don't waste any more life on this?

I think accusing me of finding your DP's illness funny was more than a bit off.

well be off then. its relates to smoking and we are on a thread about smoking.

you said its hilarious.

Please show where I have said your DP's illness was funny.

that ok. I'll take that are your apology for minimising the real medical effects of smoking on others.

I mean clearly you did educate yourself about the topic before posting...

I am not apologising to you because I haven't done what you are accusing me of. People can read, you know!

Have you read MNHQ's thread about the tone on AIBU and how we can all help improve it?

Common complaints include twisting people's posts and accusations of 'thread police'. It's a good read, I would recommend it.

I don't give a shit whether you apologise or not. next time educate yourself before posting. or just RTT.