To provide a handy one-word guide to EVERY MN thread

[Haffdonga]

Mumsnet Answers to Everything (for those who don't RTFT)

• Is he having an affair? YES LTB
• Bounty Reps BAD
• Is my MIL toxic? YES - GO NC
• My dog growled LTB
• Fruitshoots BAD
• Breastmilk GOOD
• Rehoming a dog BAD
• Periods? MOONCUP
• Is my SIL toxic? YES –GO NC
• Ham? NAICE
• Co-sleeping GOOD
• Is this a line? YES
• What should I do? LTB
• Child-free weddings? BAD
• Poems asking for wedding money? BAD
• He said I was fat. LTB
• He is fat. LTB
• Wrongly sized bra. BAD
• TXTSPK BD
• Nasty boss? LTB
• OW. BAD
• Kittens GOOD

Please contribute so we can create a cut out n' keep guide.

Commenting that most of the cars carrying blue badges are sports cars/ 4 wheel drives / a lot more expensive than my clapped out car - don't be disablist. Send round the firing squad.

FunLovin you have posted exactly what I was going to pretty much.

Asking for toast for toddler at lunchtime = 15 pages of bile telling you you're wrong, entitled and a bitch worse than Hitler

I shouted at my DC/OH/Dog

Why are you still there? Leave NOW. You are an abuser.

Shouting at DC?? You are defiantly (sic) a chav and an abuser. You DC will be SCARRED I tell you. I never shout at my DC at all (preens)
Dear MN please teach your MNers how to spell definitely. Thanks.

Strange toast one! I recall one where toddler wanted toast in the middle of the night and I was mean to say 'tough, kitchen closed'!

DC are only allowed to eat what MNers say is ok.
Fruit shoots and McDo =bad
Sweets and fizzy drinks for over 5s = if you don't let DC have them you are mean and your DC will all be sweet bingeing anorexics and it'll be all your fault. And how DARE you ban them at parties. Worse than Hitler.

DP does anything - RED FLAG
DP does nothing - take all your financial records, passports etc & LT(lazy)B

What do you mean you don't care what grain your bread is made from!?

help me with dinner party menu pombears

Badly behaved spouse - probably undiagnosed Aspergers
Badly behaved teen - Have you had them tested for Aspergers
Toddler tantrums -Aspergers
Toddler quiet and withdrawn - Aspergers

Badly behaved person over 55 - Dementia or undiagnosed Aspergers.

My MIL/ SIL does anything: NARCISSIST
My H does anything: LTB
Casual acquaintance says hello: WENDY
Really wish that kid in DC's class would stop thumping other kids: SN
Can't get GP appointment: GP BASHING
Can't see HV/ HV did something: HV BASHING
DC's school have got rid of all the teachers and enlisted DC as a peer coach- is this too much for a six year old?: TEACHER BASHING
Scooters: KILLING MACHINE
Loom bands: KILLING MACHINE
Baby led weaning: GOOD
Cosleeping: Good
Elimination communication: NUTJOB
I quite fancy a run: YAY!

I like the running topic

WOHM v SAHM thread = FIGHT !!!
Peter andre = luvsiskidz
Greggs = evil, obesity-promoting devil shop

Any thread about anything, ever - what if the genders were reversed? DOUBLE STANDERRRDZZ

WIBU to buy 12 year old DD shiny lip gloss for party ? OMG YOU MAY AS WELL PROSTITUTE HER

Primary age dd (MC) wants pierced ears: CHAVVY
Primary age dd (WC) wants pierced ears: NEEDLE NOT GUN
Primary age dd (Foreign, class unknown) wants pierced ears: CULTURAL HERITAGE
I want to buy a dog: POTENTIAL BABY-EATER
I want to adopt a dog: ONLY THREE-LEGGED STAFFIE

"I want to adopt a dog: ONLY THREE-LEGGED STAFFIE"

Stranger acting weird in front of your child : they are not a twat they must hav e a mental Illness
Next door neighbours child bullying your child : undiagnosed S/N
Fanmily next door don't appear to work but go on ten holidays a year all of their fifteen children have the latest in everything ,have a fifty inch TV : Don't judge you don't know their circumstances they may have family helping them out !

Start a benefit bashing, disablist thread - Fuck off.

Anything to do with children under 8: SLING

Bad Grammar: ESSENTIAL
Bad Grammar: Oh do fuck off dear for pointing it out

Bad Grammar: I'm on my Phone

Anything more than three lines long: PARAGRAPHS

Can I leave my baby fast asleep in his cot with 6 baby monitors and pop next door? FECKLESS, NEGLECTFUL PARENTING, CALL SS

I don’t let my 6 yo play out unsupervised .. SMOTHERING, OVER-ANXIOUS PARENTING, CALL SS

Digs about SN every second post-fuck off and be a bit sensitive