To provide a handy one-word guide to EVERY MN thread

[Haffdonga]

Mumsnet Answers to Everything (for those who don't RTFT)

• Is he having an affair? YES LTB
• Bounty Reps BAD
• Is my MIL toxic? YES - GO NC
• My dog growled LTB
• Fruitshoots BAD
• Breastmilk GOOD
• Rehoming a dog BAD
• Periods? MOONCUP
• Is my SIL toxic? YES –GO NC
• Ham? NAICE
• Co-sleeping GOOD
• Is this a line? YES
• What should I do? LTB
• Child-free weddings? BAD
• Poems asking for wedding money? BAD
• He said I was fat. LTB
• He is fat. LTB
• Wrongly sized bra. BAD
• TXTSPK BD
• Nasty boss? LTB
• OW. BAD
• Kittens GOOD

Please contribute so we can create a cut out n' keep guide.

Lol bodicea let's get back to the highly amusing thread !

DCs didnt get 15 A* = COUNSELLING

Parking problems = COUNSELLING

Your BVU, you should of gone NC = thread-police ALERT

MIL wont give me back my PFB = COUNSELLING + NC

DF using my DC1's pram to hide his drug-stash = STABBY + 101

Michael Gove - FTFOTTOSOF

Nigel Farage - WANKBADGER

Vagina: VULVA
Tuppence: VULVA
Minny: VULVA
Privates: VULVA
Twinkle: VULVA
Front bottom: VULVA

Vulva: FANJO

joke thread = digs at sn

Small budget,planning wedding: tough titty you need to invite all the cousins

x2 I'll stop when you stop putting words into my mouth.

Fairenough fairy king can we get back to the thread now it is funny!!! ?

Dominic Cumberbatch Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Simon Cowell BOAK

Andy Murray [Monotone]

Tony Blair - MN STOCKS + out of date eggs

Isn't it Benedict Cumberbatch?

Bendydick Cucumberlypatch

writing stuff on facebook: Superficial

spouse speaking another language: LTB

asking spouse not to speak other language: controlling

an argument: abusive

anything about wedding rings or proposals: superficial

Not married: unprotected,you'll be homeless if he dies, no legal status.

Want to get married:why the fuck do you want a wedding you superficial bastard?

Oh bugger! Sorry, put it down to being laid up in bed with an awful head cold

Take two ...

Bendydick Cucumberlypatch = nomnomnom

Subtext please come over and rub Olbas oil all over my chest

scottishmummy posts 3 lines: posting in haiku again?
scottishmummy posts more than 3 lines: been on the sauce again?
scottishmummy doesn't post for 2 weeks: wherever is scottishmummy?

Any typos in thread title: 1st post must be "I knew this was you, Chaos"

[wunk]

Grandparents babysitting FREELOADING
Friends babysitting ACCEPTABLE

My OH told me he didn't like the meal I cooked last night: LTB
My OH told me I'm a terrible cook: CALL 101
My OH told me I'm the worst cook ever: CALL 999
My OH is lovely and I love him: CALL THE ARMY WHAT A BASTARD

Response to any Scottishmmy post were they disagree:are you drunk you cow bag?
i simply can't read your posts.speak english.heavens its indecipherable woman
however they then tell me how discombobulated my post make them feel,oh and im a bad un

Horse poo: SCOOP IT UP AND PUT IT ON YOUR ROSES, YOU STUPID FUCKER

Father Christmas - LYING TO CHILDREN
Tooth Fairy - THE MAGIC OF CHILDHOOD

Putting make-up on on the train: BOGGING

love ya really scottishmummy

Bogging,great word practically onomatopoeic

scottishmummy - leg end

Yep I'm being sooky, don't care

My GP did my smear with a rusty crowbar and called me racist names - GP BASHING, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOURS THEY WORK, YOU THICK CHAV, YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN NHS IS GONE

My GP's receptionist asked me if my appt was really urgent - WHAT A BITCH, DOES SHE THINK SHE HAS MED TRAINING OR WHAT, SNOTTY COW

Haha sooky,love that exoression