To provide a handy one-word guide to EVERY MN thread

[Haffdonga]

Mumsnet Answers to Everything (for those who don't RTFT)

• Is he having an affair? YES LTB
• Bounty Reps BAD
• Is my MIL toxic? YES - GO NC
• My dog growled LTB
• Fruitshoots BAD
• Breastmilk GOOD
• Rehoming a dog BAD
• Periods? MOONCUP
• Is my SIL toxic? YES –GO NC
• Ham? NAICE
• Co-sleeping GOOD
• Is this a line? YES
• What should I do? LTB
• Child-free weddings? BAD
• Poems asking for wedding money? BAD
• He said I was fat. LTB
• He is fat. LTB
• Wrongly sized bra. BAD
• TXTSPK BD
• Nasty boss? LTB
• OW. BAD
• Kittens GOOD

Please contribute so we can create a cut out n' keep guide.

[solongfrankl]

Should we be swearing so much? FUCK YES, YOU CUNT

[scottishmummy]

Boyfriend looked at me funny:hes narcissistic,just like my ex,i can spot em.i work in asda btw

[trufflesnout]

Tesco GOOD
Nestle BAD

Work that one out

[lettertoherms]

Friendly dogs off lead: BAD
Cats pooing in your garden: GOOD

[Valpollicella]

DH being an arse? SPA DAY/LEAVE HIM WITH KIDS ALL DAY

yeah cis that works when you come home to Apocalypse Now in your house

[KeatsiePie]

Dogs? BAD
On leash? STILL BAD, WERE YOU NOT LISTENING
Off leash but bothering no one? THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED

Tumble dryer? BAD, HOUSE WILL BURN DOWN, 100% GUARANTEED
Line drying? GOOD
Line drying overnight? SLATTERN

Mouse in house? CATCH-AND-RELEASE TRAP
Failure of catch-and-release trap? THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED

[BiscuitMillionaire]

Complain about teacher? DETENTION!

[scottishmummy]

Mil wants to pick up my baby: tell auld cow to go fuck herself
Female checks bf phone,quizzes him about whereabouts,friends:that's ok,hun
Male checks gf phone,quizzes her about whereabouts,friends:not ok.controlling git

[DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution]

Redecorating; FARROW & BALL EVERYTHING

[Apatite1]

Got a swimming pool? STEALTH BOAST

Need to invest inheritance? STEALTH BOAST

Need advice on where to holiday? STEALTH BOAST

Need advice on nanny? STEALTH BOAST

Thinking about private schools? STEALTH BOAST

Need advice on handbag? STEALTH BOAST

Need restaurant recommendation? STEALTH BOAST

Want to share your sale purchases? STEALTH BOAST

Spend more than ten pence on make up? STEALTH BOAST

Use a whole chicken for one meal only? STEALTH BOAST

[scottishmummy]

What are you buying weans for Xmas?: nothing,we are mc and worthy.so a satsuma

[Anniegetyourgun]

Wot no goat voucher?

[AnnieOnAMapleLeaf]

DH is sad: LTB
DH is angry: LTB
DH is happy: LTB
DH is cheap: LTB
DH laughed: LTB
DH cried: LTB

DH is ....

LTB LTB LTB LTB LTB LTB LTB LTB LTB LTBL TB LTB LTB LTB LTB ad nauseum.

[SoonToBeSix]

Mince DONT RINSE
Minge DEFINITELY RINSE

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

debates on anything: im a feminist - good
debates on anything: im a feminist - bad.

hiding entire topics: sanity saving.

[Gullygirl]

Money requests for Wedding gifts BAD
Wedding gift lists GRABBY
Reporting people for benefit fraud UNTHINKABLE
Letting your child play with tablets/computers SHIT PARENT
Sorry,another Facebook one.... DEREGISTER
Disagreeing with other posters - TROLL

[saffronwblue]

Can't drive BAD
Drive your DC everywhere? BAD

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

Need a new handbag: get a bench.
Peter Andre: dayglo orange twat

[MrsBoldon]

DH came in pissed at 5am for the first time in 10 years - alcoholic

DH who looked vaguely disappointed it's dairylea on toast for tea after he's worked a 23 hr shift down a mine and you're a SAHM- cheeky fucker should be getting his own tea AND putting the kids to bed while you have a lie down.

[saffronwblue]

Baby names beginning with K? BAD
Baby names non - traditional spelling? BAD
Baby names that sound American? BAD even if you are American
Baby names that are nicknames? You must put the full name on the birth certificate.
Teacher ignores my child? BAD teacher
Teacher ignores my child? You are clearly the parent from hell.

[saffronwblue]

Australians? Racist
Everyone in the UK? Not racist

[x2boys]

Expressing a strong opinion about the welfare state you will burn in hell!
Report somebody for benefit fraud ,told you unreasonable, you are jealous ,its non of your buissness and you are most defiantly a troll!
David Cameron very bad
Ed milliband not good but better than Cameron .

[arrrghhhhwaiting]

Want a bad holiday? Centerparcs
Want an amazing holiday? Centerparcs
Want bum sex? Centerparcs
Want to pleasure yourself? Centerparcs

[arrrghhhhwaiting]

Naked adult neighbour flashing you: good
Child without coat on in average weather: bad

[MrsDumbledore]

Breakfast cereal -evil
Instant coffee -yuck
Oats or eggs -only acceptable breakfasts

Should my child watch tv -no, unless you want to stunt their neural development
I'm really stressed at entertaining my dc -there is nothing wrong with Cbeebies you know!