about the breastfeeding cafe in Cheltenham?

[NotNewButNameChanged]

Sorry if someone has already done this but I haven't spotted it if so.

I live in Cheltenham and there is a café proudly displaying a sign saying:

"Breastfeeding mums. Pop in and have a free cup of tea if you need a pit stop. No need to eat, no need to ask - please relax "

I am very torn about this. On the one hand, it's great to be supportive of breastfeeding and we know it is illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding mums. But on the other, it's basically discriminating against mums who either can't breastfeed or choose not to. Somehow makes me feel that it's saying breastfeeding mothers are more important and deserving than other mothers.

Am I being unreasonable in being torn?

Fuck me some people are just waiting to be offended. I would be delighted to see a sign like this. l've bf both my dc and never used a bottle but I don't get all offended by cafes that offer to heat bottles but don't specifically have a bf welcome sign. I just horse on anyway and thankfully have never encountered anyone who has a problem with it.

Original most cafes don't warm bottles anymore in case its too warm and burns the babies mouth and they get the arse sued off them.
NorthMountain you would expect it the other way round but I suppose the more people who can control womens bodies the better eh

Takeme You must encounter a disproportionate amount of rude cunts. The point of a free cuppa is that a bf mother needs to drink more fluids due to bfing, why would they give free drinks to ff mothers any more than anyone else? ?

Runes - positive discrimination is just as bad as negative. Why make the distinction! As others have said simply display the bf logo and let everyone buy their own drinks

StillFrigginRexManningDay You would, and as I said I live in Ireland, which is I think is more geared towards ff than bf tbh.

I thimk when it comes to parenting, some people like to stick the boot in no matter what. Damned if I do, damned if I dont

runes Overrun with them.

Sorry NotNew, I didn't mean you. Your OP wasn't particularly PO! It's just cropped up a few times lately; poor folk who can't do right for doing wrong, so to speak.

In what universe is positive discrimination as bad as negative? You may not see the necessity, as a bfing mother I do, however to be offended or upset by it is ridiculous.

A free drink is discrimination? But cafes also often provide baby food and means to warm it and bottles. Doing something a little extra for both mum and baby. Is not like a drink is a free prize, it's just recognition that by providing something useful to that parent makes them more likely to visit. BF mum will probably be hungry too so the idea is support breastfeeding, get a customer.

Would you complain in a cafe that provided free baby food jars because you don't use jars that it was discriminatory, or would you just get on with it and give them the food you preprepared?

I bottle fed one, was grateful for the microwave or hot water for warming bottles. I breast fed the other and would be grateful for a glass of water or juice. It's not favouritism, and a free drink is not a prize that says well done for not bottle feeding.

I don't see what the big deal is. I've been in plenty of cafes with formula fed babies where hot water or a bottle warmer has been provided for the bottles. I'm sure they could take their own equipment with them, but it's nice if they don't have to and the cafe provides it.

It is just marketing. The more welcome people feel the more likely they are to go there.

Giving a free cup of tea to breast feeding mothers just makes a group who have traditionally felt unwelcome welcome.

Tbh as a mother of school aged children I would avoid that cafe. My mother would and also a lot of other child free people I know would.

I know that because when going out for lunch or coffee we research the least child friendly places.

Miaow - i had similar with baby group. Ignored and ostracised because i dared to feed my baby.

The bf crusaders need to remember that they are not same special group to be revered and celebrated.

Op would you also be offended if it was a free cup of tea for pensioners or a 10% student discount or children eat for free?

There are lots of offers only available to a small section of society.

Breastfeeding makes you thirsty and many people find it easier to feed in a comfy relaxed environment, I think it is a lovely (and very business savy) idea, if I lived locally I'd certainly pop in and buy a bit of cake to eat with my free cup of tea that would have cost the cafe about 3 pence to make

wheres Or maybe women need to remember not to be massive bitches to other women for making different choices. (And men too, of course!)

tbh the underlining of the word breastfeeding would have me hurrying past.

Why not say 'feeding babies is supported here, please ask for anything you need. Perhaps if you are breastfeeding that's a top up via a free cuppa! '

That way you can offer the free cuppa while appearing more inclusive!

Yabu
I wish ppl on mn would stop moaning about bf v ff
Most ppl don't care who does what
If you bf great
If you ff great
In my town there is a wooden "bf" bench with a lovely message about having a spot to sit and bf. I must contact the council and ensure they get a ff feeding one too.

Fuck me some people are just waiting to be offended this you hit the nail on the head Runes mumsnet has turned into a forum for the professionally offended.

I did say that I have bf and ff my own dc in public and can honestly say that I never had a second glance when ff, or h feeding the baby, or my mum etc, but sat in a corner of a café with a muslin over the baby's head and no visible boob on display and had people tut and mutter usually old women, as in 60+

Why should a bf women feel that she has to go and it in a smelly windowless baby changing room to feed so as not to offend anyone? I was asked by John Lewis café if I would feel more comfortable feeding in their changing rooms which had a feeding room (for bf and ff, had bottle warmers etc and comfy chairs) well no I wouldn't, id quite like a cold drink or a cuppa while feeding thank you.

thankfully my infant feeding days are well and truly over.

I'm sorry any mother who has been directly abused regarding their choice on how they feed their baby. How unkind! I've done both and been lucky enough to get away mildly unscathed, could of odd comments, but never anything that made me feel uncomfortable or unwelcome enough to care.

I don't see the sign as being discriminatory, facilities to help feeding mums should be available in more places, whether it's boob, bottle, jar or specially prepared mush.

The number of drinks I've bought, with a screaming baby in tow, so I'd have somewhere comfy to sit while bf-ing, is astronomical. A freeby every now and then would be lovely.

It does seem a bit odd for people to want something taken away from someone just because they can't have it. If I see a cafe advertising a 'pensioners special' I dont feel hurt because I'm not old so don't get it. If I see free baby jars with a meal I don't feel upset that I don't have a baby of the right age for them so I can't have one. Why is this different?

BF is something that causes a lot of people to make unkind remarks and generally seems to invite unwanted attention when in public. Now one tiny cafe try to be nice and then people who arnt bf start shouting 'that's not fair.' I really wish people would drop this defensive infighting.

Well said mrstiggy

Yes, well put mrstiggy

I think YAB a bit U.
I've seen some people tutting at a mum trying to feed a wriggly baby. Hopefully this sign will put off people who are apparently so offended by breastfeeding.
And I speak as someone who has combination fed both my children. I must just say I've never had any negative comments from any mum when I've bottle fed either child in public! By the second one I also truly didn't care...

my point isn't the fairness though, its the sign. Have you actually seen a picture of it?

Mind you there's no such thing as bad publicity so I guess it's probably rammed full anyway.