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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit naffed off at the people who did nothing

232 replies

Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 15:53

Basically,

there is only one shop in the place I live.

A property is being renovated just along from it.

On the way home today, we spotted an old man lying on the pavement (about 2pm), in between the shop and property.

His zimmer was beside him. It was clear he was in pain and the zimmer was broken.

We stopped the car and got out.

Clearly the old boy had had a tipple but equally clearly his zimmer was broken (one wheel sheered off and no where to be seen). He was in a dreadful state, smelly, dirty, on the pavement. Calm but still, on the pavement! Could say his name and where he lived and that he was just out of hospital with a broken hip.

Builders came out and said - we offered to get him up an hour ago he said no. They told me the local shop keep selling him booze when he toddles along for it.

People were walking past him and us and not saying a word ?!

AIBU to think he is a human being, was clearly in pain, was filthy and smelly (builders commented on it) and people should not be just walking on by Shock. REALLY? they left him there because he didn't want help - could they not have called an ambulance?

We got an ambulance.

He was taken away. I think his hip may be broken again :(

We also arranged local district nurse to bring him a zimmer if he doesnt get one given to him in the hosp, and spoke with his GP.

Took about two hours of our time but I will sleep tonight!

I was also sad cos the builders were laughing taking pics of him on the pavement Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 15:58

Ps I dont mean we are anything special. I just thought anyone would do what we did and am sad that several people including a local doctor walked by.

OP posts:
zippey · 16/07/2014 16:00

I probably would not have helped if my offer of help had been rejected. I probably wouldnt even have offered to help to be honest if it looked like he was a drunk.

Best policy is to cross the road before you get to the person.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:01

no way zippey - really???? Shock

so a drunk doesn't deserve help? Sad

He is old and in pain.

OP posts:
BreeVDKamp · 16/07/2014 16:02

They were taking pictures of him and laughing???? That. Is utterly vile. I was pretty disgusted even before I got to that bit. How disgusting!!

Well done you for all you've done for that chap! I would want to get those builders into trouble for their anti-social-ness but no idea how you would do that, and pretty sure they wouldn't care anyway.

YANBU at all.

Goodness!

susiedaisy · 16/07/2014 16:04

I would of helped it would of troubled me all day if I didn't at least try and do something. The fact that he was elderly and used a walking frame would of been my main concern.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:04

zippey - I just presumed whether an offer of help was refused or not (it wasn't to us) that most people would see that he NEEDED medical attention and arrange that? ie call ambulance

OP posts:
fairgame · 16/07/2014 16:05

I would have helped. I'm a nurse by trade though so i wouldn't have been able to walk past with a clear conscience.
If someone is drunk and aggressive then i might not intervene but you can't leave an old person laying on the pavement ffs do people have no compassion anymore?

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:06

Made me sad the number of people who walked on by us and him.

The builders said people had been doing it for an hour!

come one someone phone an ambulance?!

or are we becoming a people who turn a blind eye so it does't involve us???

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 16/07/2014 16:07

That's awful.

Zippey, you sound delightful and caring.

OP, totally agree that even if the man refused help, the builders could still have called an ambulance.

susiedaisy · 16/07/2014 16:07

Thing is he might of only had a 'tipple' but he is obviously not able to care for himself properly if he was smelling and in dirty clothes so you did the right thing op. If he is frail and undernourished even a small bit of alcohol would be enough to put him off his legs. Poor chap!

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 16/07/2014 16:07

There was a homeless man lying across the pavement. A bit drunk but clothes torn and what looked like fresh blood on his clothes.

Couple of people walking towards me said he ha said he didn't want help. I asked and he told me to go away. I called 101 and they sent a car round. I couldn't stay because I had ds with me.

Yanbu - it takes nothing to call an ambulance/police if you don't want to get actively involved

zippey · 16/07/2014 16:07

A drunk/junkie... you're asking for trouble. What if he had a needle or a knife? Best to stay out of any drama and leave that kind of stuff to good Samartians (ie like yourself)

Id probably help out a child or vulnerable adult though. Not sure, depends on the circumstances.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:08

I am shocked.

I did tell the builders when they were taking pictures that they were being mean and they better not be taking any of me Angry

They said it was to show their boss Hmm

They thought it was funny but one of them said they could see he was in great pain and that his zimmer was broken.

how long would he have been there?

Plus it started to PEE DOWN AND its cold.

OP posts:
HecatePropylaea · 16/07/2014 16:10

I would disagree that if someone refuses help, they should just be left to suffer. There can be all sorts of reasons why someone would refuse help and a lot of them are to do with specific needs, conditions, circumstances or disabilities that make them more vulnerable not less.

Sometimes you have to get help for someone even when they are telling you they don't want it, because they are not for whatever reason able to make an informed choice.

clearly this man could not stay on the floor, injured and unable to get up, until he died! So at some point someone would need to help him despite him saying no. A call to alert the emergency services is the appropriate course of action. Not saying oh, he said no, so we left them. What kind of compassionless shit would do that? And even worse, photograph him? Like he's not even a human being. They should be ashamed of themselves.

YouTheCat · 16/07/2014 16:10

Why is it asking for trouble to call an ambulance?

If the bloke had been violent and stuff, you could still call.

You'd only 'probably' help a child or vulnerable adult? Hmm

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:11

zippey

he WAS vulnerable that was the point.

Old and infirm.

Not aggressive in the least.

The only knife he looked likely to have on him was a butter one, if any!

OK, leave junkies / drunks, to good Samaritans but from afar, couldn't/wouldn't you call an ambulance?

Doesn't cost anything

I am shocked that someone could see an old boy on the pavement with a zimmer beside and NOT do something practical tbh.

OP posts:
Lepaskilf · 16/07/2014 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

susiedaisy · 16/07/2014 16:11

I'm not saying that I would sit on the floor holding his hand. As you don't know what frame of mind he might be in or how violent he could be but surely zippy you would call an ambulance and if you could, wait until it turned up??

lizzzyyliveson · 16/07/2014 16:11

Call the police non-emergency number and talk to them about these builders. Maybe a chat with the police about their responsibilities will stop them laughing. They could make them delete the photos at the very least.

chicaguapa · 16/07/2014 16:12

You should never assume someone is drunk and not help them for this reason. Shock Even if someone smells of alcohol, surely only a medical professional can diagnose what's the matter with him. Hmm He might be off his face and still be having a stroke or a diabetic hypo.

Well done OP.

I often hope that the walk on by people suffer the same one day if they ever needed help themselves.

susiedaisy · 16/07/2014 16:13

I agree, to carry on working and keep glancing over at a frail elderly person in pain collapsed on the floor is just shitty really really shittyAngry

JennyOnTheBlocks · 16/07/2014 16:13

If the builders were taking pictures I'd be on the phone to their bosses tbh

How fucking grim of them, no matter what circumstances had got the older man there, he's still a human in need and by your description, pain.

Hope he's ok, and thank you OP Thanks

VerityWaves · 16/07/2014 16:13

Where is the humanity Sad

YouTheCat · 16/07/2014 16:14

If someone smells of alcohol and they don't seem 'with it', they could be diabetic, I think.

Always best to be on the safe side and make the call.

Sirzy · 16/07/2014 16:14

Poor man, if he had refused help I would have walked out of eat shot and then phoned an ambulance and hung around til they arrived. It can then be up to them to judge what is needed.

As for the builders. I would contact the company they work for and complain tbh.