to feel a bit naffed off at the people who did nothing

[Loveneverfails]

Basically,

there is only one shop in the place I live.

A property is being renovated just along from it.

On the way home today, we spotted an old man lying on the pavement (about 2pm), in between the shop and property.

His zimmer was beside him. It was clear he was in pain and the zimmer was broken.

We stopped the car and got out.

Clearly the old boy had had a tipple but equally clearly his zimmer was broken (one wheel sheered off and no where to be seen). He was in a dreadful state, smelly, dirty, on the pavement. Calm but still, on the pavement! Could say his name and where he lived and that he was just out of hospital with a broken hip.

Builders came out and said - we offered to get him up an hour ago he said no. They told me the local shop keep selling him booze when he toddles along for it.

People were walking past him and us and not saying a word ?!

AIBU to think he is a human being, was clearly in pain, was filthy and smelly (builders commented on it) and people should not be just walking on by . REALLY? they left him there because he didn't want help - could they not have called an ambulance?

We got an ambulance.

He was taken away. I think his hip may be broken again :(

We also arranged local district nurse to bring him a zimmer if he doesnt get one given to him in the hosp, and spoke with his GP.

Took about two hours of our time but I will sleep tonight!

I was also sad cos the builders were laughing taking pics of him on the pavement

Hi Tortoiseturtle - Not even probably, Id maybe help, its hard to know what I would do until Im actuatlly in those circumstances. I might help, I might not, just being honest. Its different to wishful thinkers who say they definatly would help when statistics, experiments (such as Milgrims) and real world anecdotal evidence confirm that most people would not help (as in the chilling and sad China toddler incident I cited above)

Helping a child is fraught with all sorts of issues and difficulties, but o course it depends on what has happened, if a parent is around etc.

The Milgram experiment was about actively causing harm (and death) to another person, when instructed to.

It's got fuck all to do with voluntarily helping a random person in need.

By the way, did you know that random acts of kindness have repeatedly been shown to improve mental health, wellbeing and confidence? Just a thought.

Hi all

UPDATE

I phoned the surgery and passed on what husband had seen at the flat to them.

On call doctor said that she would pop out and see him / the situation.

I won't get embroiled in the situation, don't worry :)

(but I may send hubby over with some messages / food at some points ).

This thread has been an eye opener for me - I have learned a lot!

:) Good update

Well this was a frail old man who had a couple and fell over. Some people are so nice, just leave him there on a hot day on tge floor to dehydrate, as it is entirely possible he could not get up. Op said he was in pain.

Hi GarlicJulyKit - Milgrims experiment was cited as a study in people following others. If one person walks by and fails to help, then others will follow.

Thats a nice update though, glad things are moving along. All's well that ends well eh?

Milgram's most famous experiment was an exercise in seeing how far people would go to obey authority figures instructing them to inflict harm on others, not investigating (or excusing) a generally willingness to ignore the suffering of others under the circumstances described either in the OP, or in your posts.

Genuine question - do you not even think it would make you feel good about yourself to help someone if they needed it? Would that not be a motivating factor?

Dojo - You are right about Milgrim, but I hope you can see the indirect link between his experiment and the general malaise people feel with the state of humanity.

I am not against helping others in times of need, like I say I like to think of myself as quite helpful. However I would probably draw the line at helping drunk or aggressive. Its bnot that they dont deserve help, but that Id rather just not get involved with someone who would probably not appreciate my help in the first place.

With my job I couldn't not stop to help
However I would say just be careful. (Outs self) I recently slowed down because someone was stood in the middle of the road and I couldn't get round him. Unfortunately he tried to get in my drivers door and when he couldn't, he caused nearly a grands worth of damage to my brand new car. I'm left with the choice of find £1000 or claim and my premiums go up and lose my no claims. He was arrested and pled guilty but doesn't have to pay for the damage

Very true. I thought he/someone else was injured and trying to flag someone down. Next time I would reverse at speed or turn around (it was a narrow road but I could have turned although it would have been hard)
It's made me very very wary, also I was in full uniform so he was happy to attempt to assault someone in a caring profession

Really an old man, in pain with a zimmer frame needs help, irrespective of whether or not he was drunk.

Sadly OP, as everyone gets more and more 'perfect' (like you find here on many a thread) humanity just slips away....

It was 1am so nobody else about too. It was only when he got closer and I heard some unprintable words I hit lock on the car door as he tried to get in
More annoyed about the damage

Bloody hell Zippey what a response - that's vile. My own life was saved by someone who took the time to stop.

Me and a friend were the only people who stopped to help a man laying in the middle of the road in a pool of blood. He had fallen down a lot ofstairs and you could see his skull! We stayed with him pressed a jacket against the wound and called an ambulance. He was drunk and it may have been because of a fight (we don't know this but there were some people shouting from flats above after a while) but he needed help!. He could have died from that wound. I don't know what is wrong with people. How can you just walk on by?

I've stepped in when seeing drunk men being aggressive or sexuality aggressive to women. I can't watch that happen. I've stepped in when I've seen groups of men intimidating a man. I don't think we should allow these things to happen! People ran to help when a me and 2 friends were jumped by a group of about 7 people. Thank god for them!

I witnessed a motorcyclist fall off his bike at slow speed in our town about 4 cars in front of me at a roundabout - people either ignored him or were annoyed at being held up. I stopped, asked him if he was ok and if he needed any help and once had determined he wasn't injured didn't think any more of it. At lunchtime I received a bouquet of flowers as turns out I work with his wife and he'd recognised me. His wife was so grateful it was interesting to see how much it had meant to them. I'd been shocked at how many people drove past

When we last had the bad snow (winter before last) one of the receptionists at work fetched me because she said a man was lying on the street outside and hasn't moved for a couple of hours (it's always me they fetch - I dunno what that says) I went our to find an elderly man lying face down in the snow - he appeared to be drunk and couldn't communicate with me - but he might not have been able to speak English. People were treading over him. It will stay with me forever - one woman walked past and said 'oh he's pissed'. What so you're going to leave him to die then?

I called an ambulance and it took quite a while - a man from the council stopped and pulled him up and sat supporting him while we waited.

It really told me something about the kindness of strangers that day - he could have been anyone's father or grandad and he needed help. He also could have been diabetic but that wasn't going to be the condition that made me help him!

I would never put myself in danger but you did the right thing.

"All' s well that ends well"

No thanks to people like you zippey

Quite frankly your attitude stinks.

Zippey - you sound like a thoroughly unpleasant person. Perhaps you or yours will desperately need help some day and not get it. Helping is not necessarily a fun or pleasant experience for the helper. But - newsflash - other people matter too.

How very sad. It really concerns me that there seems to be very little compassion around these days. Good on you OP!

My DM has MS, when she has a relapse she looses her balance and stumbles a lot. The exhaustion also makes her slur her words. It horrifies me that one day she could fall and struggle to get up and people would ignore her. She may even refuse help out of sheer embarrassment.

I wonder Zippey if you were the delightful person that walked by when my Grandfather had a stroke in public.

Yes one should help in this scenario (and I have helped before when someone collapsed in front of me) - however I wouldn't judge the people who walked on by whilst you were there Loveneverfails , they may have felt that you were dealing with it and didn't want to be rubberneckers.

There was an accident outside my house last night (I am on a major A road, 50 mph speed limit).... a car apparently had failed to see a motorbike. I didn't hear the bang but noticed ambulances on scene when I was upstairs closing my curtains. When I went downstairs and outside to investigate, the 'rescue' attempt was well underway, the motorcyclist was on a trolley, the ambulance crew were in attendance and the police were collecting witness statements. There was nothing I could usefully do - and I didn't want to be a gawper so went back inside. Would hate to think anyone there thought selfish cow she did nothing - since there was no role for me other then getting in the way. Had I heard the crash when it happened however I would have rushed out to investigate and got stuck in calling emergency services, supporting the victims etc.

Poor guy, you did a good thing OP.

DH once picked up and carried a woman a few feet away from the cycle path in our town center. She had collapsed outside the pub on the path and kids were laughing at her (though they ran off when DP came). Worse he was greeted to cheers of 'you're in there mate' from a couple of them before they moved off so fuck knows what could have happened and what those kids would let happen. He got her to the side by the pub and made a bouncer call an amulance. She was diabetic, her DP came running out after word got around the pub. She'd had a couple of drinks, gone out for a smoke and collapsed. Because they'd been at a birthday for his friend, her DP hadn't realised.

The horror was what could have happened to her as well as what did happen to her.

At the very least call 999 or 101.