to feel a bit naffed off at the people who did nothing

[Loveneverfails]

Basically,

there is only one shop in the place I live.

A property is being renovated just along from it.

On the way home today, we spotted an old man lying on the pavement (about 2pm), in between the shop and property.

His zimmer was beside him. It was clear he was in pain and the zimmer was broken.

We stopped the car and got out.

Clearly the old boy had had a tipple but equally clearly his zimmer was broken (one wheel sheered off and no where to be seen). He was in a dreadful state, smelly, dirty, on the pavement. Calm but still, on the pavement! Could say his name and where he lived and that he was just out of hospital with a broken hip.

Builders came out and said - we offered to get him up an hour ago he said no. They told me the local shop keep selling him booze when he toddles along for it.

People were walking past him and us and not saying a word ?!

AIBU to think he is a human being, was clearly in pain, was filthy and smelly (builders commented on it) and people should not be just walking on by . REALLY? they left him there because he didn't want help - could they not have called an ambulance?

We got an ambulance.

He was taken away. I think his hip may be broken again :(

We also arranged local district nurse to bring him a zimmer if he doesnt get one given to him in the hosp, and spoke with his GP.

Took about two hours of our time but I will sleep tonight!

I was also sad cos the builders were laughing taking pics of him on the pavement

Well, I would have helped, and have done. Some colleagues and I once witnessed the fall and stepped in - similar kind of person, elderly, not too clean, clearly not well though no Zimmer. He had a bag full of food with him and a lot of sweets, so had just been shopping. No-one there when we arrived.

While we were trying to ascertain his condition, a car pulled up with two women in it - his daughters come to look for him. Turns out that yes, he was diabetic and yes, he was on a hypo. They were very glad we had stopped to help.

Zippy you say you are caring - your posts say otherwise.

Eff sake at 'photos being for boss', sounds like a shit business all round then. In that case I'd phone 101. I'm sure there must be something illegal there, or at least I hope there is.

My DH had a diabetic hypo a couple of years ago in the town centre when I wasn't with him. People were really helpful, someone called an ambulance and he got sorted out. Glad we live in a friendly place.

Sounds silly but keep looking out of my front window and can literally still see the old fella in my minds eye lying on the pavement.

So glad they took him to hosp to check him over - think they had to as, if nothing else, his zimmer was knackered so HOW could he mobilise safely at home!

Why do I feel upset [mixed]

Its called the Bystander Effect and well known in Psychology circles as to the reason why people do not stop to help.

Heres are a couple of links. Unfortunatly one of them describes a horrific event in China which is heartbreakingly sad.

psychology.about.com/od/socialpsychology/a/bystandereffect.htm

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201110/why-we-stand-and-dont-help

Zippey, you can think of yourself as 'caring' all you like but I doubt anyone on this thread would agree with you.

^^ This.

The bystander effect. I shall google that - not sure I can manage a horrific event in china story though! (maybe another day)

Yes, I'm well aware of the bystander effect. That doesn't mean you have to do nothing though just in case it's a bit of trouble for you.

The attitude of those builders and others is bloody disgusting in my opinion! My husband and I helped an old down and out back to his feet who was so drunk he couldn't even get onto his side. This was in town as people were walking by, laughing. We simply walked him to a bench and sat him down. It was really sad as even though he was really drunk he was so thankful. I hope that small piece of kindness made him feel a little better that day. We've also helped two other old men in similar situations and would do so again.

Those three men were some ones children at one time and I'm sure their parents didn't want this life for them. I imagine that most of the posters on here would like some one to help a person they cared about. If I were you OP I'd report those builders to the firm they work for as taking photographs of a vulnerable person shows the firm in a bad light.

thats the thing that gets me.

It is too much trouble for people to make a call ? AT the very least?

OP I completely agree with you.
Even if he had been aggressive, it was clear he couldn't get up and needed help. At the very least, you can ring 101 or 999 so that person receive some help.

The problem is that we are told too many times not to near people because it's a scam (esp with broken down cars) or they can be aggressive (alcohol/drugs). But somehow the idea to still ring the police or ambulance has been lost
The builders were dreadful!!!

TBH if I saw something like that and could see and hear that someone else was already involved and helping, I don't think I'd get involved. Well, I might ask the person helping if they needed anything else doing.

I have a few times seen people fall over etc and stopped long enough to see that someone who was nearer had gone to them to help.

If I were the nearest or only person I would have called an ambulance for this man though. Who the fuck are any of us to judge someone for (possibly) having a drink problem, especially if they were lying on the pavement hurt?

OP, I would seriously find out who those builders were and report to their company. That should be punished. They're a disgrace.

sad times

you are spot on onedreamonly

You live in a place with only one shop, so clearly very small? Realistically how much walking traffic do you get on a Wednesday afternoon?

How could anyone walk on by??

That's someone's son.

Perhaps someone's dad.

How did we get like this?

I'm not sure about karma zippey but if I were you I'd be careful -just in case :D

quite a lot of walking traffic and traffic traffic, as he was lying right near the only shop and our village is cut through by a main road to the motorway.

Lots of cars stop for goodies as we are the last shop for miles.

I would always see if people need help, if they don't want help but need it i would still dial 999. Paramedics are trained to get reluctant people into ambulances.

It terrifies me how detached people are to other people's problems, I have seen two incidents where the huge majority of people did nothing. I was on a train and a couple in their 60s were standing on the train, I was also standing. The man suddenly collapsed, the woman was trying to hold him up but struggling. I was heavily pregnant and standing a bit away from them ( there were about 10 people between me and them) no one did anything, they looked and then played on their phones/looked out of the window. I pushed through and helped the lady lower the man to the floor, she told me he was diabetic and had low blood sugar, they had no food or uppers with them, the train had no buffet car and was stopped between stations, me, a Romanian begger and an Indian nurse were the only people to help, non of us spoke Swedish ( we were in Sweden) I went up the train asking other passengers for sweet food/drink and nearly everyone said they didn't have anything, a guy eventually gave me a mars bar and on my way back to the man I saw a group of women sharing a bag of sweets, they had told me they had nothing. The Romanian guy had found some orange juice and the diabetic man started to regain consciousness and received medical help at the next station.

The other situation was recently, there was an old man wondering about in just his underpants, lots of people were sniggering and pointing or crossing over the road to keep away from him. I tried to talk to him and ask if he was ok but he wouldn't talk to me, so I called the police and followed the man at a distance until the police came.

I'm pregnant and I have a toddler, I worry that if I go into labour whilst out with the toddler no one will help me.

YANBU. It is fucking awful.

And even if he was drunk, he deserved help

Hell, i may want to get pissed if i am old with a broken hip.

I could never ignore anyone in trouble. I'm an RMN though, I think it's instinctive to want to help.

Thankfully I've never seen anyone else ignoring people hurt on the floor either. Where I live people do seem to help others. I've pulled over in my car when I saw someone fall last year and waited with another person for an ambulance after they fell in the street.

Funnily enough I fell really heavily while running a few months back and a car with 2 people in that saw me as they were waiting to turn just carried on and ignored me. I was really quite badly hurt and bleeding heavily from my elbow. By contrast when I fell on Sunday a dog walker saw me and came to check on me

I don't care if someone is drunk or appears to have taken drugs, I would always stop to help if they appeared in trouble. It is unusual for someone to be aggressive toward a stranger but there is nothing to stop anyone keeping a distance and calling the police if they are concerned for their own safety!

Some people are just idiots.

Exactly Doyou

Why would anyone leave someone lying on the floor ffs?

YANBU. It could be any one of us lying in pain on the pavement next time and I hope someone would stop and help me if I were in the situation. Poor man. Good on you, OP.

I once had a passerby shout at me FOR calling 999.

A lady on her own had fallen in the road and quite badly cut her lip and mouth. I was a passerby although I didn't see her tumble.

the hospital was a good 3 miles away on the other side of the city ( I was a student with no transport and no other bystander was jumping forward to take her), noone knew for certain if she hadn't bumped her head and the lady, bless her, spoke very limited English and I didn't think she'd manage a taxi even if they agreed to take her. She couldn't get up from the pavement let alone walk.

This other bystander completely lost it with me about wasting valuable ambulance time. Sometimes you cannot win.