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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit naffed off at the people who did nothing

232 replies

Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 15:53

Basically,

there is only one shop in the place I live.

A property is being renovated just along from it.

On the way home today, we spotted an old man lying on the pavement (about 2pm), in between the shop and property.

His zimmer was beside him. It was clear he was in pain and the zimmer was broken.

We stopped the car and got out.

Clearly the old boy had had a tipple but equally clearly his zimmer was broken (one wheel sheered off and no where to be seen). He was in a dreadful state, smelly, dirty, on the pavement. Calm but still, on the pavement! Could say his name and where he lived and that he was just out of hospital with a broken hip.

Builders came out and said - we offered to get him up an hour ago he said no. They told me the local shop keep selling him booze when he toddles along for it.

People were walking past him and us and not saying a word ?!

AIBU to think he is a human being, was clearly in pain, was filthy and smelly (builders commented on it) and people should not be just walking on by Shock. REALLY? they left him there because he didn't want help - could they not have called an ambulance?

We got an ambulance.

He was taken away. I think his hip may be broken again :(

We also arranged local district nurse to bring him a zimmer if he doesnt get one given to him in the hosp, and spoke with his GP.

Took about two hours of our time but I will sleep tonight!

I was also sad cos the builders were laughing taking pics of him on the pavement Sad

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 16/07/2014 16:15

Zippy... That is utterly vile.

I would have helped, even if he was being stubborn even if he was swearing, he's an old man, who couldn't get up and was in pain. He's pride probe took a big bashing, The very least you do is stay with him till an ambulance comes.
Also wouldn't advice moving him incase it made things worse it's vile no one phoned an ambulance.

You did the right thing, and I thankful that there is still people like you in the world.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:18

I am actually really a bit concerned that no one called BEFORE us tbh. He was frozen poor bugger :(

He was on that pavement for yonks.

Clearly needing medical attention.

I am actually shaking re how selfish people can be. There I said it. I think those builders were selfish and the people nipping in and out of the shop, ignoring him, were pretty darn selfish too.

Phone 101 - if you have NO TIME TO STOP - at least make SOMEONE AWARE.

OP posts:
needastrongone · 16/07/2014 16:19

Under what circumstances would you not help? Even if the help was rejected?

Common human decency, I wish that there were more.

I would have done the same as you OP.

Plateofcrumbs · 16/07/2014 16:19

How can people be that uncaring?

I once helped an old man in similar circumstances, he had fallen on the pavement and rolled half into the gutter next to a parked car and was flailing around banging on the car to get attention. Busy high street, people were just walking past. What is wrong with them?

susiedaisy · 16/07/2014 16:19

When our local hospital was being altered there were builders everywhere on scaffolding whistling and calling out to women that were visiting relatives. They did it to me just as I had left the ward my grandad was on, it was the last time I saw my gd alive He died that night of cancer. I was so upset I complained about the builders to hospital. Apparently others had done the same and the heckling was stopped.

NoodleOodle · 16/07/2014 16:19

I hate it when it is confirmed that people are horrible. I was at a similar scene hen I was just 7, and my friend and I came across an old lady on the floor on our way to the sweet shop. We were astounded that all the adults walking by were just giving her a wide berth - horrible.

Bunbaker · 16/07/2014 16:21

"If the builders were taking pictures I'd be on the phone to their bosses tbh"

Same here.

Shame on you zippey. Some people appear drunk when they are having a diabetic hypo. Even if I had felt uncomfortable approaching this man I still would have phoned for the police or ambulance. I couldn't have lived with my conscience if I had just left him.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:21

What concerns me most is that THIS VITAL ELEMENT of looking out for each other even in our weaknesses and judgements is missing in some people Sad

I have had a rude wake up call about humanity today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:23

and I am glad it is not just me that feels this way!

OP posts:
Greyhound · 16/07/2014 16:23

I would have called an ambulance and have done so in the past.

I lived in Glasgow for a while and called an ambulance for a drunk lad who was passed out in a shop doorway.

I then moved to London and saw so many people like that I'm afraid i stopped calling ambulances for all of them :(

There is one very young girl I really wish I had helped - not drunk, but begging in a subway with her dog. She was only a child and had tears in her eyes when I gave her some money. That was twenty years ago and I still think of her some times :( I wonder what happened to her? Is she still alive or did someone save her?

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:25

I hope she was ok greyhound x

OP posts:
HecatePropylaea · 16/07/2014 16:26

people who are injured can often be confused and reject help.

People with diabetes whose blood sugar is in their boots can be aggressive.

I mean, there are a million and one reasons why someone might say no to help, or be obstructive. I can't believe the lack of compassion that would lead to just walking on by.

Did anyone see that video where the same bloke wore different clothes and asked for help?

zippey · 16/07/2014 16:26

Sometimes you have to get help for someone even when they are telling you they don't want it

If someone at the supermarket asked me "do you want help with your shopping" and I say "no thank you" and they proceed to help anyway, I would be a bit annoyed. "What part of no thank you did you not understand"

I may have helped if the person was old and didnt reek of alchohol as I do like to think of myself as a caring person.

But best to stay out of these situations. Why give yourself extra hassle to help a total stranger who is too drunk to care?

HecatePropylaea · 16/07/2014 16:27
whois · 16/07/2014 16:27

I'd have called an ambulance and waited with him but probably not the other stuff.

If someone was clearly in trouble and needing help but being aggressive if help from afar - call an ambulance and explain the situation.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:27

The difference is zippey, that this old boy was HURT.

Drunk or not.

surely?

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:28

he deserved help and its our responsibility as fellow persons, to care about each others welfare, especially the young and the old / vulnerable?

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/07/2014 16:29

"Why give yourself extra hassle"

Err because you are a decent moral person?

YouTheCat · 16/07/2014 16:29

Zippey, you can think of yourself as 'caring' all you like but I doubt anyone on this thread would agree with you.

Helping someone pack their bags and calling an ambulance are such different situations that I really don't see the comparison at all.

needastrongone · 16/07/2014 16:31

You have absolutely no idea what life circumstances have lead him to drink in the first place. What if this old man was a war veteran who had fought for his country but struggled with PTS ever since?

I would really hope that folk would help me in such circumstances, even if perhaps I didn't deserve it.

shouldnthavesaid · 16/07/2014 16:31

People who are 'drunk' might be having a stroke, seizure, diabetic hypo or might be otherwise seriously ill.

If you come across someone who appears incapable or who has collapsed always ask if they want help. If they say no, move to a safe distance and call 999. If they do want help, remain with them, phone for help and assist as needed (though it's worth not assisting too much if they're bloody, unless you have gloves).

Would also find out who the builders are and phone their bosses and maybe 101.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:32

off to make tea but thanks for replies.

OP posts:
HecatePropylaea · 16/07/2014 16:32

People who are caring do not first assess whether someone is worthy of their caring before deciding whether or not to give a little human compassion. I think that someone helping with your shopping is a little bit different to being on the floor, injured, dazed, confused and if you are actually trying to compare the two as though they are in any way the same thing, I can't take you seriously and won't be engaging in further conversation with you. Don't bother to address me again. I won't be responding to you.

SauvignonBlanche · 16/07/2014 16:33

But best to stay out of these situations. Why give yourself extra hassle to help a total stranger who is too drunk to care?

Who the fuck are any of us to judge?

Someone who is hypoglycaemic or post-seizure may appear drunk.

I can whole-heartedly agree with keeping yourself safe and understand the reluctance to get involved but there's no excuse not to call for help!

DS was still at primary school when he found an unconscious drunk in the park and called 999.

Original poster
Loveneverfails · 16/07/2014 16:33

I might phone the builders boss tho they said their photos were FOR their boss so doubt if he sounds much better!!!

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