To be so angry that MIL fed DS 4month

[PretzelPrincess]

So I left DS who is 4 moths old with MIL just while I popped to the super market, half an hour max. I come back and she's feeding him a banana He's 4 months and I have explicitly said over and over I don't want to give him solids just yet. I'm so angry just thinking about it. I feel totally undermined. Don't trust her with DS anymore. Urghhhhhh.

Not leave the baby locked in the car while she pops into Tesco? Not let her 'very friendly' pitbull play with it?

yes because children did all this in her day and survived....

And yes, in the interests of balance, my MIL is fab. Seems to agree with my choices, doesn't make me aware if she doesn't, and supports me in the chocolate banana wars.

This isn't a mil thing. It's a grandparent arrogant tosser thing

My mother would have left me in a car or let me play with a pit bull.

As far as food went though, anything goes as far as she is concerned.

The three things don't follow.

WOULDNT sorry mum!

And of course not all grandparents! Before I get jumped on

I know, Harold, they were fairly random examples, but you can't second-guess what OPs MiL will decide is best for baby next.

Yeah, car seats is another good one, slithytove, I know my own parents consider me oddly obsessive about having the DC in proper, functioning, correctly sized car seats, instead of just bunging them in the back seat of the Morris Marina and cracking on with it.
They wouldn't dare not do it though. Hopefully.

DD's first food moment is on camera too...we've also kept t h e outfit she wore to be registered and a load of other stuff that people would consider to be PFB/soppy etc...she loves talking about what she did when she was a baby and looking at memorabilia....feel sorry for me of you wish.

My mother professes not to remember a thing about anything.

I don't know how I survived babyhood.

It's not about whether it's OK to feed solids at 4mo

It more than likely is about that though.

The babies grandmother is from a generation of mothers that weaned much younger than 6 months, so in her mind she probably thinks the OP is doing it 'wrong' and that in giving the baby some banana, she has done it 'right'

I expect the OP feels especially angry about what happened because she knows that her MIL thinks the OPs way is wrong.

Hi op.

I weaned my oldest at 4 months as that was the advice at the time. Late 80s/early 90s. I weaned my last 2, late 1999/2000 when i choose to as a confident mum
It's not acceptable that you mil undermined you. my choice
It doesn't matter what her views are as she has had her time in charge of her babies.

This us your time. your choice

My mil was the best ever and I miss her every day. She didn't interfere. I aim to be the same.

knee it's not about what the ops mil thinks was right when hers were little.

Personally I know feeding a banana to a 4 month old is fine as long as it's my 4 month old

To take that decision and power from another mum is disgusting.

I'd have to do some googling, SquigglySquid, but I think there have been successful prosecutions for leaving a DC with someone known to be neglectful who then goes on to harm them. Generally violent boyfriends and the like, obviously.

Yes, they can get charged with negligence if they know a child is in danger. But it's such an unreasonable stretch to say because MIL fed a child a banana that they should have known she'd leave the baby unattended in the bath tub.

And if you really think that giving your baby her first 'taste of food' is such a highlight in your life then I feel sorry for you
It's not up to the grandparent to decide when they get their first taste of food hough, is it?!
That lies with the parent. Not the grandparent. I'm presumably going to be a grandparent one day and I wouldn't dream of butting in and telling what to do like that. That's a parental decision.

Respect/ listen/support/love.

Not that hard really is it?

My mil was ace.

I aim to be ace too..^^ see above.

Just realised I got my first deletion on this thread go me

Whaaaat? How?

Haha I was in a bad mood one very early morning and called a couple of posters wankers. I feel it's a mumsnet rite of passage, I've been here about 4 months now so about time!

Official advice is to wean at 6 months. You had explicitly said not to feed baby also. The MIL goes directly against mums wishes and gives baby his first solids. Mother missed something special and is undermined. Totally unacceptable. Id probably not leave the baby with the MIL as she can't be trusted.

These is actually something special about giving first solids. Its a developmental jump however small it seems. Seeing their little face and how they react and making sure its ok.

yanbu op I would be fuming. It is about control and is simple - if she doesnt follow instructions she doesn't look after lo.

My (new) MIL is lovely A kind and thoughtful lady who loves her family and includes me in that.

However ... she thinks this too ...

''people who [say] their children had food allergies were pandering to their children's fussiness in an unhealthy way, making rods for their own backs,''