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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never drink again as I have a child who I may need to take to hospital!?!

127 replies

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 07/07/2014 08:44

Not really a thread about a thread but certainly a thread about something that I've only ever heard of on MN.

So people with children, who drive, never go above the limit in case of emergency?! Going above the limit being a home poured g and t or glass of wine.

Does anyone have an experience of needing to take a child into hospital after having a drink? Did you find a taxi so inconvenient? Were hospital staff just mortified that an adult had had a drink while on charge of a child?

As the only driver in my house, am I expected to be ready to drive 24/7?

Seems daft and unreasonable to me.

So what are your thought- aibu to remain under the limit for the next 18 years!?

OP posts:
StickyEmInTheRibs · 07/07/2014 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dawndonnaagain · 07/07/2014 08:50

I have a child with brittle asthma. No, I didn't drink, we're thirty miles from the nearest hospital and there are very few taxis round here that would take you there. There were also times when we were quicker in the car than an ambulance. I do have the odd one now, but don't go over the limit, that's because we have a home nebuliser. Doesn't always work though. Oh, and yes, I too am the only driver.
Having said all that, I don't think that for most it's a problem, in my situation it's not living your life for a 'just in case', it's when. I don't think anybody other than those in similar situations should live their lives 'just in case'. In most scenarios somebody could call an amubulance if necessary.

callamia · 07/07/2014 08:51

I don't even have a car. I'm such a failure as a parent aren't I?

ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 07/07/2014 08:53

As a non driving lone parent who hasn't lives enough years to "get drinking days out of my system" I have several times been merry and had to bundle kids into a taxi. We got there in ten mins, I sobered up pretty sharpish, administered first aid en route and we were all looked after very well by A&E staff. It is a non issue. Obviously anyone who is nearly unconscious or falling down drunk is irresponsible if they are in sole charge of children but actually having a few glasses of wine in your own home when children are in bed is perfectly perfectly fine. And tbh on a Sunday I have wine with Sunday lunch and if friends are round for a BBQ we drink. No one gets bladdered and passes out, it's fine. Only on MN is this an issue!

Fairylea · 07/07/2014 08:54

I think some of it depends where you live. For example when I lived in London I wouldn't have worried as taxis and buses were everywhere. No issue. But now living in south norfolk I'd feel a bit rotten if there was some emergency and I wasn't able to just get in the car and drive - no buses etc and taxis usually an hours wait often to be booked 2 days in advance.

Having said that if it was an absolute can't wait type emergency you'd ring an ambulance anyway wouldn't you..

airplanesandsun · 07/07/2014 08:55

I know people who take it in turns on a nightly basis - but I can't see the point in living your life on the off chance that some thing might happen. If you need to get a normally fit child to hospital quickly the best way is an ambulance as they have medical equipment on board.

ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 07/07/2014 08:56

And in fact, after the third trip in a week with my son (he had issues with his plaster cast and we had to keep going back) the consultant sent us home saying to me "I prescribe you several glasses of wine, it's of course medicinal" ! And he knew full well I was a lone parent.

ProfYaffle · 07/07/2014 08:57

I live in South Norfolk and it doesn't impact on my drinking activities!

OorWullie · 07/07/2014 08:58

If i drink in charge of my son, i only do so if someone else is there (my parents mainly) to drive to hospital or help me deal with another sort of emergency.

considering i rarely ever drink it is unlikely but we live in a very rural village with the nearest hospital being 20 miles away and the nearest taxi rank being the same distance so i do have to be careful.

catgirl1976 · 07/07/2014 09:06

I can't drive. I can drink.

I am a terrible parent.

BarbaraPalmer · 07/07/2014 09:06

i will happily have 2 glasses when in charge of the DC, as I am still emergency-competent. we're in a big city less than 3 miles from A&E though, so very quick to arrange a cab.

there have been a couple of occasions when I've stayed booze free as the DC were slightly unwell, and in the back of my mind I thought it would be easier to get to out of hours by car.

Bogeyface · 07/07/2014 09:14

I have noticed this to be an MN phenomenon too.

Yet I have also seen advice along the lines of "Cant you book a babysitter and go out for dinner/a few drinks?" without considering that when the babysitter has left, you potentially have 2 parents who have had a few in charge!

For me its about risk assessment. If a child has had a bang on the head during the day, or is sick or has a temp then obviously dont drink. But if everything is fine and you are not 50 miles from A&E with no taxi, then I see no issue with a couple of drinks.

Sausages123 · 07/07/2014 09:20

There is a difference between a couple of glasses of wine, taking you over the limit and getting absolutely drunk. In our house it is a bit of a non issue as my H never has more than one drink and can drive and if I was on my own I wouldn't bother drinking as I can't cope with being sole parent with a headache

Birdsgottafly · 07/07/2014 09:21

I didn't drive when mine were young, so it would if been a taxi, I'm just up the road from AlderHey, so for possible finger/minor joint injuries etc, I put them in the buggy and walked, or went by bus.

It's easier to get a taxi, than faff with parking.

I suppose it depends on where you live, what Hospital you have to attend.

I worked in health care and have seen people being bought in, in cars, that should of had an ambulance.

I often got drunk as a LP.

littlejohnnydory · 07/07/2014 09:29

Soooo silly. I can't drive anyway - the only non-emergency trip to a&e we've had in 7 years was by taxi. If more urgent than that, it would have been an ambulance.

It really is a MN thing - same people will be saying this who are incredulous that some parents won't leave their children with a babysitter they don't know very well.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 07/07/2014 09:32

Look, mn is just very odd. It isn't RL by any stretch. And some of them here hold opinions you won't ever see in RL. This example being one of them.

EarthWindFire · 07/07/2014 09:36

Look, mn is just very odd. It isn't RL by any stretch. And some of them here hold opinions you won't ever see in RL. This example being one of them.

Completely agree with this.

What next... Never cross a road in case you get run over!?

Flexibilityiskey · 07/07/2014 09:37

I really don't understand the logic of not drinking just in case. What are the chances of a normally healthy child needing a non urgent trip to hospital on any given night? Especially once they are in bed. Almost anything non urgent would wait until the morning. Anything that is urgent is likely to require an ambulance, so driving is not an issue. That said, no one is unreasonable to decide not to drink for any reason, if that is what they want to do. Personally I like the odd glass or three of wine.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/07/2014 09:37

I don't drive, I do enjoy a glass or two of wine at the weekend, however that's when children are in bed and I don't have enough to affect my ability to deal with them.

Even when dps home and I go out with friends, I still come home sober as I have a set limit and I don't exceed it.

Not just because of the children but also because I've been there, done that, and puked down the t shirt. I'm past all that and I certainly don't want to be the embarrassment I'm sure I used to be. I go out to talk to friends and have a laugh, however often the people I go out with are ones who would have had a bottle of something before they even came out.

If I'm honest, I get fed up of all the "spend hours getting ready whilst drinking then get as drunk as possible when I'm out" idea of what's a fun night Hmm

Hoppinggreen · 07/07/2014 09:38

We'll I live within walking distance of A&E and I don't get drunk around the DC's. I will have one or 2 drinks but no more and I still manage to enjoy myself.
I save the drunk nights for when DC's are staying at Grandmas or I am out without DH and he isn't drinking at all.
I don't really want the children seeing me drunk for a start and also my reactions and judgement would be impaired so I couldn't react the way I normally would if there was an emergency
Nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks around the children but if you are rolling around drunk then yes, I will judge!!!!

hazeyjane · 07/07/2014 09:45

2 glasses at most here, ds is often up in the night, has episodes which are being investigated as seizures, and has had to be taken to hospital or have ambulances. I don't drive, but I would be the one having to go in with ds and deal with drs.

All of this is much easier to deal with if I don't feel drunk (and I am a lightweight and feel drunk after 2 glasses!)

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/07/2014 09:47

I also hate the "let's get drunk, take selfies and update face. Book every five minutes" nights out.

Maybe it's just because I'm older than some of my friends, I don't know, but for me now going out is about seeing friends and enjoying myself. And I can do that without dragging round various crappy bars for shots and BOGOF deals and half price cocktails.

There's having a drink with friends and them there seems to be drinking to get drunk for the sake of it.

CheeryName · 07/07/2014 09:49

I don't worry about it. However I was shocked to discover its £30 for a taxi to hospital where I live. THIRTY QUID!!!

Meglet · 07/07/2014 09:49

blimey, all you lot saying you'd only have 2 glasses. I'd need my stomach pumped after that Blush.

I sometimes have a tiny glass with dinner, I make those mini bottles last for a few days Grin. I'm a LP. I would never drive on it though, I'd get a taxi.

LastDayOne · 07/07/2014 10:10

When I was 18 and no longer living with my parents, there was a fire in my building - someone in the flat below died and the building was ruled unsafe for habitation until it had been checked for major structural damage. I rang my parents from the fire station and asked my dad to come get me (it was 2am). All my cards etc had been left behind. He said he couldn't come get me as he'd had too much to drink.

That is the only time alcohol and emergencies have been relevant to me. I wouldn't get blotto if in sole charge of my DC but there's always taxis.