Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never drink again as I have a child who I may need to take to hospital!?!

127 replies

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 07/07/2014 08:44

Not really a thread about a thread but certainly a thread about something that I've only ever heard of on MN.

So people with children, who drive, never go above the limit in case of emergency?! Going above the limit being a home poured g and t or glass of wine.

Does anyone have an experience of needing to take a child into hospital after having a drink? Did you find a taxi so inconvenient? Were hospital staff just mortified that an adult had had a drink while on charge of a child?

As the only driver in my house, am I expected to be ready to drive 24/7?

Seems daft and unreasonable to me.

So what are your thought- aibu to remain under the limit for the next 18 years!?

OP posts:
ikeaismylocal · 08/07/2014 19:46

Ds has viral induced wheeze and we have had to go to a+e a few times with him, I don't drink if ds is ill even if it's just a cold or tummy bug because I'd want to be on top form if he had to go to hospital ( I don't drive so the driving bit is irrelevant really, dp drives but very rarely drinks.)

If ds was not ill I wouldn't hesitate to have a couple of glasses of wine whilst he is in bed.

Trazzletoes · 08/07/2014 19:49

We spent 18 months with DS having a central line in. If he gets a temp above 38 you have to take him in to hospital straight away.

This definitely reduced our drinking!!! But we would still have the odd drink. DFIL was killed by a drunk driver so neither of us will drive if we have had anything at all. Fortunately I only had to get a cab once.

TheHumancatapult · 08/07/2014 19:50

I am one of them Ds3 has some serious medical issues so I cant risk a drink as lone parent i never know when he fits or collpases amogst other things

So only time I do have a drink is when im not in charge of them so its litteral a couple times of years but personally thats fine for me I dont mind

Ninetysixpercent · 08/07/2014 19:57

I don't drink. I'm a LP and have had to deal with medical emergencies in the middle of the night 3 times, life saving first aid type emergencies, nothing to do with driving.
The thread that I suspect inspired this one was really about getting drunk around your kids.

happystory · 08/07/2014 20:12

Our dcs are 22 and 18. We live in a sizeable town with a hospital 3 miles away. Taxis abound. Wine is taken, frequently, at weekends. There has never been an occasion when this was a problem.

Though I see this is completely different if you have a child with a medical condition and/or live in a rural area.

SlightlyNerdyPianist · 08/07/2014 20:12

Not too many years ago I was prescribed sleeping tablets for a nasty bout of insomnia. There is no way I would have been capable of driving after one of them, even if I had had a car at the time, which I didn't. And I'm also a LP.

So by MN's reckoning, I should be letting my GP know he was neglectful in prescribing me those drugs in case I needed to cart my DD off to A&E at short notice?

Right ho. I'll write the letter of complaint tomorrow ... [hmmm]

WeAreEternal · 08/07/2014 20:31

I would never drink more than a glass of wine if I was home alone with DS.

So in a way yes I would never drink enough to be over the limit to drive.

I understand the need for a glass or two of wine after a long day, but I don't understand why any parent would want to be drunk when they are in solely responsible for their children.
It's not about the chance of an emergency, it's just about being a responsible parent, and we all know how irresponsible alcohol can make us, I just don't think it is ever worth the risk.

And I do believe that if you are over the legal driving limit them you are drunk, regardless of how you 'feel'.

Weathergames · 08/07/2014 20:36

I am a LP and my child had a freak accident at home (severed his finger) and I phoned 999.

I wasn't pissed just well over the limit and I explained that to the call operator.

They were fine and so were the ambulance staff - I prob couldn't have driven safely if sober anyway and the crew said they preferred answering a call like mine than being in the middle of the city centre on a sat night.

doziedoozie · 08/07/2014 20:36

But what if a small DC chokes on something or has a burn - would think being sober would help for making quick decisions.

So best someone is sober, they do grow up eventually!

I wouldn't have the same view if DCs were teenagers.

SquigglySquid · 08/07/2014 20:37

Well, personally with a baby I wouldn't be drinking anyway. My eye hand coordination is terrible as it is.

Mrsfrumble · 08/07/2014 20:37

When we lived in London our nearest hospital was UCH, which doesn't have any parking facilities anyway. Not that we had a car. Of the two A&E visits DS required as a baby, one was by taxi and the other by ambulance.

We live 13 blocks from the nearest hospital now, so easily walkable. Not being able to have a glass of wine in the evening just in case you need to drive 30 miles in an emergency sounds crap. Yet another reason why I'd be totally unsuited to rural living.

RiverTam · 08/07/2014 20:37

well, I can walk to my nearest A&E in about 20 minutes, so not a problem for me.

Weathergames · 08/07/2014 20:39

I am a trained first aider and was told my (quick) actions saved his finger and hand.

gamescompendium · 08/07/2014 20:43

We live 5min walk from the hospital. 2 mins of that walk is through the carpark. We never drive to the hospital. I'll have a large G&T!

ikeaismylocal · 08/07/2014 20:43

But what if a small DC chokes on something or has a burn - would think being sober would help for making quick decisions.

I tend to panic in emergancy situations and a couple of glasses of wine makes me much less paniky so actually I would probably be a better mother after a couple of glasses of wine in an emergancy situation.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 08/07/2014 20:45

I do have a glass of wine of an evening now - well, not everyday, but when I want one. However, I did have about a year of wanting either myself or DH driving-sober (so less than 2 units) when DS1 was younger. It came after a 1am admission to hospital with a severe asthma attack & we had had to call an ambulance as neither of us was OK to drive him the 10 miles to A&E.

I went with him & sobered up bloody quickly (I wasn't drunk to start with, but would have been over limit to drive). TBH, we felt really guilty that we had had to resort to an ambulance because we'd both had a drink. We felt like really shitty parents!

We did phone a taxi, but it was 1am on a Saturday morning and it would have been an hour before one could get to us. They were all booked to take drunk people home from the pub (which is obviously fair enough).

cardibach · 08/07/2014 20:59

WeAreEternal you sound a bit superior there - being over the limit and being drunk are completely f=different for most people. If your DCs are healthy, asleep and not prone to night waking why would you need to refrain from being over the limit once they are asleep? If you don't like drinking/don't want to drink fair enough, but if you do like a glass of wine? I don't see the harm. For the record I am a lone parent and for the last 13 years have lived in a very rural area 30 miles from hospital.

proudmum74 · 08/07/2014 21:14

I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't drink because I have a child Blush

DD has complex medical problems and occasionally needs to be blue lighted into hospital with severe breathing problems. The first time it happened my DH was away & I couldn't drive as it was too soon after my emergency c-section.

The taxi took 20 mins to arrive, my DD almost died.

So "no, I don't drink anymore"

I have no problem if other people wish to drink, but I NEVER want to go through that experience ever again, especially if I thought it was my fault she was delayed.

Cuddlydragon · 08/07/2014 21:26

I don't drink if I'm solely in charge of my son. If my DH is with me, one or either of us might have one or two, but never both. It isn't really about driving, we just don't want to be in a position where at least one of us isn't fully able to make good choices. It isn't weird to me that that is our choice but it is totally odd that people react so strangely to a decision not to drink, but that's a general thing with society. The whole wine time thing isn't for me.

WeAreEternal · 08/07/2014 22:14

There has been extensive testing on how alcohol affects your awareness, judgement, and response among other things.
It's the findings of these such tests that determine the legal limit for driving, as beyond that, on average, most peoples awareness, judgement, responses and other things began to become significantly affected.
Some people can have much more than the legal limit but still 'feel' like they would be completely fine to drive, others 'feel' they would be unable to drive when they have had much less than the legal limit.

I personally will not drink anything if I am driving, as I believe even a small amount of alcohol is too much if you are going to get behind the wheel.

I have personally witnessed and been involved with studies on the affects of alcohol on the brain and you can see the affects on peoples responses in simple tasks after just one drink, even people who considered themselves to be regular, strong drinkers who though they weren't affected until they had drank several drinks.

So when it comes to being responsible for a child, even a sleeping one, I do think it is irresponsible to be intoxicated, even mildly so. You can never know what may happen, in my opinion it's now worth the risk.

And on a side note what is fun about drinking alone?
I understand a glass of wine to end the day, but I just can't see how drinking alone is enjoyable.
I can't think of anything more depressing then being drunk sat at home on my own.

Iggly · 08/07/2014 22:18

Look, mn is just very odd. It isn't RL by any stretch. And some of them here hold opinions you won't ever see in RL. This example being one of them

Probably because you surround yourself with like minded people..

Topseyt · 08/07/2014 22:18

I have been very fortunate and in nearly 20 years of being a mum I have only ever had to take one of mine to A & E once. That was my youngest just over a year ago when she had broken her ankle. I hadn't been drinking, and I drove her there.

I am a parent who likes a few drinks sometimes. I am not excessive about it and I don't think it is that shocking. If I am on my own (say if my husband is away) then I very rarely drink, but it has nothing to do with whether or not the children are around me. I am quite simply just as happy to have a cup of tea and read a book. If I fancied a couple of glasses of wine though then I would have them.

WeAreEternal · 08/07/2014 22:18

Sorry for the typos, I blame autocorrect.

ICanSeeTheSun · 08/07/2014 22:37

In an emergency an ambulance is the safest way to hospital, they have all the emergency exipment on board.

It may be longer to get to the hospital but paramedics know how to deal with almost every problem.

Wolfiefan · 08/07/2014 22:57

I will have a glass or two (not if DCs are ill or with a baby about.) It is not really about driving to A&E but rather feeling I can cope with whatever. (Child waking sick in the night or trying to climb into our bed etc.) I wouldn't want to be incapable of looking after my child.

Swipe left for the next trending thread