Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never drink again as I have a child who I may need to take to hospital!?!

127 replies

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 07/07/2014 08:44

Not really a thread about a thread but certainly a thread about something that I've only ever heard of on MN.

So people with children, who drive, never go above the limit in case of emergency?! Going above the limit being a home poured g and t or glass of wine.

Does anyone have an experience of needing to take a child into hospital after having a drink? Did you find a taxi so inconvenient? Were hospital staff just mortified that an adult had had a drink while on charge of a child?

As the only driver in my house, am I expected to be ready to drive 24/7?

Seems daft and unreasonable to me.

So what are your thought- aibu to remain under the limit for the next 18 years!?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 09/07/2014 22:20

Every SW and most of the family Support Workers I know, get drunk with their children in the house, quite a few go Christmas shopping, to caravan sites and get tipsy (at least).

I don't know where this myth comes from that SW's/Doctors and other professionals are paragons of virtue.

A non accidental injury is just that and a child being taken to hospital with an explanable injury, or an illness wouldn't be judged differently if the parent had, had a couple of drinks.

This is why most SW's don't admit what they do, it saves the tutting when they are rolling back to their accommodation on holiday.

Nurses/those in the legal professions generally also know how to have a good time, involving copious amounts of alcohol.

AramintaDeWinter · 09/07/2014 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnAirOfHope82 · 09/07/2014 22:36

I totaly agree that most people drink when looking after children, well their own.

How meny people would employ a nanny that drank when looking after your children? How would you feel is your babysitter had a bottle of wine when you were out?

I think people do what the want and most of the time its fine. wasnt there a newd story about newparents taking their baby in a carseat out drinking with them?

UnderEstherMate · 09/07/2014 23:25

AnAir you're right, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that, as I can't trust that their emergency sober will set in as it's not their child. I trust myself with my child more than I trust anyone, with or without a few glasses of wine. That's not to say that I wouldn't have a babysitter, just not one that's drinking. I would drink around my child myself though.

EurotrashGirl · 09/07/2014 23:35

I know a guy who has his ds 50% of the time and doesn't drink when he has him.

Twonewcats · 09/07/2014 23:39

My sister never ever drank when bringing up her kids - just in case. She once had to rush to hospital with her ds, and that was due to a broken arm while he was coming out of school, and the school phoned an ambulance, so she didn't even drive him!

maddening · 09/07/2014 23:42

It's not about being able to drive (unless you are in an exceptional circumstance such as pp) it's about being able to make snap decisions in an emergency regarding your dc - so either parent can drink - the other could maybe have a couple but to both get drunk while in charge of dc - in-particular young dc - is not safe IMO - there should always be a grown up in charge.

Twonewcats · 09/07/2014 23:45

Can I also say, if it's an "emergency", then you SHOULDN'T drive a child to hospital! They should go in an ambulance so they can be monitored by professionals asap.
A child strapped into a car seat with one adult in the car is probably in more danger, depending on what's actually wrong, esp if the driver is panicking

maddening · 09/07/2014 23:50

The mother who drank 4 cans of strong cider and passed out while her preschooler tried to bath the baby, who sadly passed away, was convicted - to get that drunk that you do not care for your dc properly and that neglect of duty results in injury or death of a minor in your care can be prosecuted.

Twonewcats · 10/07/2014 00:12

To be fair, I don't think any of us on here are talking about getting blind drunk in charge of two preschoolers

AnAirOfHope82 · 10/07/2014 10:08

Tbf with young kids lack of sleep and alcohol is a bad combination and it will affect reflexis and thinking.

Is there any resurch done on "emergancy sober" as i dont think it exsits. If you put drugs in your system nothing but time will take them out. To be drunk one minute but not the next is a myth you still have it in your system.

This is the myth adults tell themselves to make their actions normal and acceptable, but it will not stand up in a court of law.

I also think its about respecting your children and looking at their right to be carred for by sober responsible adult at home untill they are able to better look after themselves.

If you want to drink have an adult sober to look after the children or get a babysitter or plan ahead for childcare or stay under national limit 2/3 units?

Twonewcats · 11/07/2014 10:02

This is the myth adults tell themselves to make their actions normal and acceptable, but it will not stand up in a court of law.

Sheesh. The op was only asking if people who never ever drank when in charge of kids "just in case", had ever had such an emergency where they needed to drive. All of a sudden the thread involves courts of law.

GretchenWiener · 11/07/2014 16:02

lol at courts " of law" rather than say.. tennis courts

missymayhemsmum · 11/07/2014 18:09

Obviously being utterly hammered while in charge of small children is generally a bad idea, and some parents have the added challenge of a child with a serious health condition but what kind of conceivable emergency other than a minor earthquake requires a hospital trip for a healthy child who was well when tucked in at bedtime?

Original poster
WhatsMyAgeAgain · 11/07/2014 19:08

Some of these posts are making me really want to drink. As it happens, the onlt booze I have in the house is a bottle of wine and bottle of Rum I'm taking to a friends bbq tomorow!

OP posts:
CheeryName · 11/07/2014 20:57

PMSL at the tennis courts. Would love to see how they serve papers!

Berryglitter · 11/07/2014 22:16

This had made me laugh so much. I don't drive (strike one), live 40mins from the nearest hospital (strike two), have a few drinks when I want (strike three... Bad mother!).

If ds was ill I'd be on hand, no alcohol and probably have him in with me. On a normal night, where he's fine, I'll have a few. Mil to be drives and lives across the road, dp lives a few minutes away, neighbours could help but if it needed I'd call an ambulance.

I've taken ds to hospital after two glasses of wine before, his first birthday party he fell off the bouncy castle. Not one doctor said anything. Mn is so weird for this.

Berryglitter · 11/07/2014 22:24

"Court of law" oh this is hilarious. You obviously don't know many solicitors, magistrates or judges!

AnAirOfHope82 · 11/07/2014 22:30

Love people, remember the love Grin

mustbetimeforacreamtea · 11/07/2014 23:54

LP, living in rural area. Don't drink unless another adult is present (parents, friends). Also wouldn't take sedatives when on my own. Have had to take dc to hospital and was glad that I could jump into car and be able to get home again easily.

Don't have a problem with others drinking but I couldn't relax and enjoy it. Plus hangover (and I get one after 2 drinks) and small child don't mix easily.

UnderEstherMate · 13/07/2014 13:13

National limit for what? Driving? Why do I need to do that when at home and not intending to drive? If there were some emergency in the night I would presume it would be pretty serious, in which case an ambulance would be best as they can give immediate medical attention.

I'm pretty sure a court (of law, tennis, basketball or other) would accept that adults sometimes drink. DC has never been neglected or anything otherwise, so there is no case against my parenting skills. Thank you for concern about my legal standing though Hmm

AnAirOfHope82 · 13/07/2014 14:36

Most of my friends are t-totals and my family are not big on drinking. The most my parents had is a shandy with Sunday lunch, the odd baby sham on holiday and eggnog at xmas. I have never seen my Father drunk and im in my 30s. My mums friend put vodka in lemonade once and at 8yo I had to call a taxi and tell him where we lived, pay him and me/dbro had to help her up the stairs and into bed and call my 20yo sister to look after us. My mum claims the women didnt tell her about the vodka and my mum never talked to her again. It was horrid to be in that position at 8yo. I would never want to shake my childrens confidance in me by being drunk around them.

People have different values, morals and opioins and every adult acts the way they want and thats fine. I couldnt give a fuck if other adults want to drink or feel the need to have a beer, why would I? why would you care if they didnt?

Each to there own imo.

5madthings · 13/07/2014 14:44

Well I don't drive so when the madthings need to go to the hospital and dp is at work (does shift work and long hours) I get a taxi.

I also drink,not loads but yes I drink when I am in sole charge of the kids when they are in bed I may have a cider or a rum
and coke.

Have got numerous taxis to hospital, it's only ten mins away and it's never been a problem.

UnderEstherMate · 13/07/2014 15:58

You say each to their own but have quite clearly made judgements against those who do drink, so that's not really what you think. You don't drink and nor do your family, which is perfectly fine. Many of my friends don't drink either. The fact that I do doesn't mean I don't "respect my children" or their "right to be cared for".

AnAirOfHope82 · 13/07/2014 17:37

So thats not really what you think

Actually it is what I think, I wouldnt drink for the reasons I have stated but they are mine. Everyone has different reasons for what they do and im sure I could understand most. Im not judgeing people who do by my standards as they have their own. If they do something the must think its fine so why kidge at all?