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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never drink again as I have a child who I may need to take to hospital!?!

127 replies

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 07/07/2014 08:44

Not really a thread about a thread but certainly a thread about something that I've only ever heard of on MN.

So people with children, who drive, never go above the limit in case of emergency?! Going above the limit being a home poured g and t or glass of wine.

Does anyone have an experience of needing to take a child into hospital after having a drink? Did you find a taxi so inconvenient? Were hospital staff just mortified that an adult had had a drink while on charge of a child?

As the only driver in my house, am I expected to be ready to drive 24/7?

Seems daft and unreasonable to me.

So what are your thought- aibu to remain under the limit for the next 18 years!?

OP posts:
2rebecca · 08/07/2014 23:05

Seems to be creating a fuss over nothing. Why stop at parents of children? Should I stay sober in case my husband needs driving to hospital and vv?
If I lived in the middle of nowhere this may be the sort of thing I needed to contemplate but if no adult could drive a taxi would be called if no friend/ neighbour around and not a 999 emergency.

Meglet · 08/07/2014 23:10

It's not just alcohol. Should I never take any medication ever again in case I need to take the dc's to hospital?

The GP prescribed me anti-depressants for IBS and said the drowsy feeling should go after a couple of weeks. He didn't seem to have a problem with me being a LP.

I stopped taking them after a couple of days because I have to work and couldn't wake up on them. Going on some people on here maybe single parents should never take any medication either Hmm.

BeeInYourBonnet · 08/07/2014 23:19

Good grief, what a load of EXTREMELY responsible worriers!

I wouldn't get totally blotto in sole charge of DCs, but I'd definitely have a few beers/glasses of wine.

Are you actually saying that you wouldn't even have a few drinks if you were at a wedding with DCs in tow?

doziedoozie · 09/07/2014 04:48

My DCs are thirties now, we parents didn't drink except on the odd night out or occasional dinner party.

So no drinking whilst in charge of kids, pretty nearly.

It's a more recent thing to drink nightly and at home so there won't be stats yet of the risks. Call it scaremongering if you want but it's obviously not a good idea.

NoodleOodle · 09/07/2014 04:59

Is this thread in response to another one? I've had cause to get my child to a hospital after taking (prescription) medicine that I couldn't drive after taking. I called an ambulance, the ambulance operator was really horrible about it but, all the other staff were more understanding.

I don't really drink at the moment so, if I knew I had a child that might need rushing to hospital more frequently than your average child and their accidents, then yes, I would quit drinking.

I currently avoid taking the med that makes me sleepy if I feel that there might be an incident of any sort. And, if I had a young child at home I would ask my Dr for a different medication.

madwomanbackintheattic · 09/07/2014 05:31

Well, dozydoozie, my parents certainly drank when I was a child, and I am older than your kids. I'm not entirely sure how you have decided that 'nightly' drinking is the issue at stake. It was fairly traditional to park the kids in the beer garden with a packet of a crisps and a coke, or stay home, invite a few friends round for a nice evening looking at their holiday slides, and crack open the home brew.

I can't imagine where you raised your children if you weren't aware of any of your peers that drank whilst raising theirs.

ICanSeeTheSun · 09/07/2014 05:41

I must be a very bad mum, 6 hours after a GA back home and looking after 2 DC on my own. If something was to happen not only could I not walk but unable to drive.

I do have a fantastic support network around me. This time 3 hours I couldn't cover.

GretchenWiener · 09/07/2014 06:06

Agree. Mn full of rather precious peeps

deakymom · 09/07/2014 06:43

25 miles from hospital if they look ill we skip the drink (we don't drink much anyway tbh) personally there is something about prioritising drinking over parenting that reminds me of my parents so i do not drink for the majority of my childs life i've been sober working it out i've probably been over the limit 4/5 times in my childs life and ive always had enough money in the bank to cover a taxi back if i need one (our hospital will give you transport to the emergency one but not HOME)

if im a parent i should get over being pissed is a right

Original poster
WhatsMyAgeAgain · 09/07/2014 08:09

OP here.

The thread was inspires by the one about getting pissed on play dates- this cropped up, again, and just got me thinking about the issue.

Big difference between staying sober enough to remain responsible enough to be in charge of children, and being under the legal drinking limit.

A lot of posters have talked about remaining in control, while at the same time being over the limit. Many seem to agree that not drinking at all, in order to be safe to drive at all times seems extreme.

Agree with all the people who don't drink if child is il and of course, choosing not to drink just because you don't want to!

Some responses have been hilarious, and have also got me thinking about issues that are only an issue on MN.

OP posts:
Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 08:14

I don't drink at all in case my cats need to go to the vets.

You never know do you.

CheeryName · 09/07/2014 08:32

LOL at happy days. I've stopped drinking ever since next door but one got a rabbit, best to be on the safe side.

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 08:36

Cheery Grin

think some posters would be better off having a tipple really.

CheeryName · 09/07/2014 08:36

WineWineWine

ICanSeeTheSun · 09/07/2014 08:41

I do drink around my children, I don't want alcohol to be a big taboo.

Sicaq · 09/07/2014 08:57

I have wondered the same. I also think that the absolute terror you would feel if your child was sick enough to need emergency hospital admission might make you as unsafe a driver as someone who'd had a couple of drinks. I think Option A, sober or not, is to get a taxi or someone else to drive. Driving yourself under such stressful circumstances - even sober - should be a last resort.

Rebecca2014 · 09/07/2014 09:06

I started drinking again once my daughter slept through the night (so over 1 years old) I have a bottle of wine spread over two evenings when she goes to sleep and while I am tipsy I am sober enough to call for an ambulance or a taxi. My dd has no health issues, I am sure if she did I properly wouldn't drink while alone with her!

hazeyjane · 09/07/2014 09:15

I also think that the absolute terror you would feel if your child was sick enough to need emergency hospital admission might make you as unsafe a driver as someone who'd had a couple of drinks

When we have needed to get ds to hospital,of course it is terrifying, but you need to stay calm, especially if you have other children to deal with. Only once have we got an ambulance, when we were unable to rouse ds, and his breathing was very bad, we still had to stay calm, as it was Christmas Eve and the girls were up.

doziedoozie · 09/07/2014 14:57

I think you sleep more heavily after drinking. Or I assume that is why no drinking if baby co sleeps. No doubt lots will come on justifying that as well, though again obvious that if you are v soundly asleep you're less likely to hear retching or whatever.

It's not so much the drinking but the guilt I'd feel if something happened to the DCs or wasn't dealt with as well as it could have been due to being over the limit or drinking several glasses.

I wouldn't feel the guilt if it had been medication.

madwoman, so did they drink and drive?

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 09/07/2014 15:06

There seem to be an awful lot of people on MN whose lives are completely centred around their cars. It's very odd, I've never met anyone in RL like that, in town or the country.

NigellasDealer · 09/07/2014 15:14

I was surprised when I first heard of the 'dont drink if there is a child in the house' thing but guess what it was from a social worker....(not in her professional capacity I might add)
so be warned Grin

AnAirOfHope82 · 09/07/2014 15:31

I wouldnt drink and drive, I wouldnt drink in work so why would I drink in charge of a baby or toddler?

I also think if something did happen ss could declare you unfit as you were drunk or that you were neglegant due to being intoxicated, why risk it?

But then I hate people who smoke around children and drink around them as they can chose not to but the kids have no choice.

intheenddotcom · 09/07/2014 18:54

I wouldn't get properly drunk in charge of children to begin with.

I think it depends on where you live. Around here the ambulances and taxis come from the same place which is a good 20 min drive at best for an ambulance blue lighting it - so driving yourself is essentially the same time it would take for the ambulance to even get to you.

So here even doctors recommend driving yourself/your family in most cases. I was very ill a while back and when at the GPs in the village got told to see if I could get a lift to the hospital otherwise I'd have to wait for an ambulance.

If it is major trauma or very serious then the air ambulance generally gets called for.

AnAirOfHope82 · 09/07/2014 22:03

just wanted to add if young children that would need more help/supervision no I would not have a drink as it feels wrong to me but with older children and teens I would have a drink with a meal/bbq/friends to teach responsable drinking and not to deamonise it.

UnderEstherMate · 09/07/2014 22:15

Blimey, people on this thread would have had reported my parents to SS during my childhood, going by this! (For the record, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my childhood. My parents just had a lot of friends round and regularly drank while siblings and I slept. Normal by day, wild by night!)