To think friend should offer to help?!

[YouSayBelloISayPoppaye]

I have a friend of 10+ years we both have young DC's of the same age for at least 5+ years I've been doing dinner for us both by kind of being nominated by here I.e she'll say do you want to do dinner, well discuss then she'll expect me to take it out of my freezer, prepare it, cook it, wash it all up etc.

It's kind of getting to the point where I'm wondering why she never once offers when I do my food shop we go together and she comes round about 3 times a week at the minimum where I will then do her DC dinner as well as mine using double the amount of food I normally would and then do her dinner along with mine so once again using double the amount of food, I'll also end up bathing her DC here too and putting him to sleep till she goes home.

AIBU to start to get a tad annoyed that I'm essentially doing my food shop for a family of 4 when there is only two, I have to pick up her dc's towel because she'll leave it on the floor, cook the dc's dinner with no help, wash it all up then do the same for her. She never offers to wash up but says she can't cook so won't do dinner at hers and doesn't have sky so we have at least 2 nights a week where we watch the same programme so she has to come round or not see it.

AIBU? I most probably am I'm in a pants mood

No, you are not - she's taking the piss! Is there something more to this?

Why are you putting up with this? She's taking the piss

She's taking the piss. Tell her she needs to chop in for the food.

No nothing more.

I just hate washing up I don't care about doing the cooking whilst she watches tv but it's the bane of my life, I can't bring it up because she'll get annoyed if we get takeaway she'll leave at mine on the side so I have to take it out to the bin I once asked her to take it home and bin it or put it in my bin and she got funny about it so I just do it myself it's easier

Next time she says "do you want to do dinner?" say no! She is taking you for a fool

Be very direct and say, 'it's too expensive feeding so many so regularly, can you bring supper round or order a take away next time you come?' I suspect she'll find someone else to sponge off.

You are caring used and she knows it. :( cheek

Stop offering to make hers. Just do your own.

Being used I meant

I couldn't live in each other's pockets like this. Friends are great, but most grown ups don't encroach on each others lives to this extent.

She is taking the mic. If you are happt apart from the food, maybe discuss dinner for the next night, write a shopping list together then go to her house and help her cook it. She could be really conscious of her poor skills? (Although presumably she does cook for her children) Help, not do it for her.

Why is her choice of tv package your problem?

You need to gently start enforcing new rules, she's being cheeky. If you're such good friends, surely this csn be worked out. Goid luck.

Stop letting her get away with this, she is being unreasonable and taking advantage.

I can't just make my dinner and have her sat there If I just make my dc's dinner her DC will cop.

I once ran out of food because I feed her DC as well and I've said to her I have no food because i feed them both and nothing. I once gave my DC Mac and cheese and did him the same where she then threw it all away because he wouldn't eat it and then moaned because she had to feed him when she got home that night

Ok x posted. She's not sounding good here, and you're sounding like a pushover op. Put a stop to it.

I've gone with her and helped her buy her all the same food spices Etc told and showed her how to cook it she does it for herself and her dp just won't do it when I'm around

You are an absolute mug.

Just say no, go out, do something different, make yourself busy, go late night shopping - just don't be available for her. Tell her she needs to go home as you are expecting guests, just make something up.

She isn't your friend. You are her cook. She is coming round so she doesn't have to feed her kids.

IF you want a healthy friendship it needs to be in balance.
Start today text her and say 'Money is low at the moment can't cook for a while' can we come to yours this week?
See what happens. if she still comes round get out packet soup and toast or do your kids bath first then have your meal when she has gone.

Don't invite her round at dinnertime anymore.

She just won't do it when I'm around... Well, why have a dog and bark yourself?

Find your backbone and put a stop to it.

Ragwort, OP can't suddenly start making up excuses three times a week and carrying on indefinitely. Much better to tell her straight that you can't afford it and aren't going to do it any more.

She's also using your hot water and getting you to bath and put her child to bed while she watches your telly

Friendship should work both ways, you know.

tanukiton - that wouldn't work. She knows i don't eat soups, supernoodle etc etc i eat meat veg every day. She'll come round in the morning and be here all day i absolutely love her and her DC don't get me wrong it's just annoyed me today

What are her good points? (I'm wondering why you continue with this relationship at all.)

Are you frightened to lose her as a friend? I can't think of any other reason at all why you would put up with being used like this.

Well if you going to continue to cook for her and dc then tell her you want XX amount to cover the cost of food, electricity.