how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

Would you rather she did it in the toilets then?

I bf for 8 months with both of mine and think bfing isn't an issue in class but expressing? No. Not on.

Does she have somewhere appropriate to go to express?

What is it specifically that is off-putting - the noise, or is there visible nipple?

I'd rather all of my students felt comfortable in class which they are not doing at the moment because of her expressing.

Allocate her somewhere else to go and do it, I.e a comfortable room not the toilets. If you haven't anywhere, she will have to continue doing it in class.

I would be wary of saying anything tbh! If she was doing it during the class then it would be reasonable to ask her to wait.... But at the beginning/end of sessions? She's trying to do the best for her baby.

Certainly my experience with expressing was a noisy big machine that exposed lots of nipple. It's actually less that I think it should be hidden away and more that it seems very weird to WANT to do it in public. And I fb everywhere and anywhere.

Does she have to express at certain times? Is that te issue?

Can't they just ignore it?

Bf not fb

Why don't you offer use of your office, or staffroom? She might feel just as awkward but no-one wants to express milk for a baby in the toilet. Why would you have a word about it? What else can she do? The baby won't be feeding forever, she won't be expressing forever and the academic year must be nearly over.

I would say to the people making negative comments to just get over it, it's a baby's food. If they're not mature enough to accept that, perhaps they oughtn't be at college/university.

Sorry but this is very inappropriate. There should be somewhere else private for her to do is but just sitting there and going at it without consideration for others is just not on. I can't believe someone will actually do that.

The college are legally required to provide her with a private and suitable space in which to do this (in my case it was a stationery cupboard where I could lock myself in ). A classroom in use does not meet this requirement (and nor would the toilet).

easiest solution is to have allocate a room (in my workplace this was the H and S room) with a comfy chair and a fridge she can then store the milk in. that way she gets comfort and privacy and a safe place for the expressed milk. She might be th first but probably wont be the last.

Actually, I thought this was well-established best practice from at least 10 years ago? have things changed?

There's a time and a place for everything, I wouldnt have a problem with a baby being breastfed in class or anywhere tbh but would be a bit put off by someone attatched to a fecking breastpump. It's not nearly as discreet and other people shouldnt have to feel uncomfortable.

Could you offer her a suitable room to express in before and after lectures?
A private office with a comfy chair would be ideal.
If you can not offer the above, could you allow her in to the classroom earlier to express before other people arrive.

I can understand you would rather she didn't express during lectures, it can be distracting to have someone fidgeting at the side of you (and that goes for people getting anything out of their bag, fidgeting in their seat etc - with or without using a breast pump).

Is there time in the day for her to pop off somewhere private and express? A staff room, a little rest area? If her choice is between the toilets or a classroom, I'm not surprised she's choosing the classroom.

Maybe you could ask her if she'd appreciate you trying to find her own space. Employers legally have to provide somewhere suitable for mothers to express if they need to (iirc), don't see why it wouldn't be the same for a student.

Oooh lots of posts!!

There will definitely be somewhere more appropriate for her to express- I'll try and find out.

I'm definitely wary of it because she's very feisty and will absolutely fight back about this. I agree she's doing what she sees best for her child and I'm really pleased about that but at the same time I have a class of about 25 students, out of which about 15 have either made comments that I've heard or have emailed me specifically about it.

I need to handle this in such a way that isn't going to dredge up a whole heap of shit.

I can see that it's potentially disruptive - except she seems only to be doing it at the start of class/during group work sessions, when there's a lot of noise/movement happening anyway.

And given that term ends in a very short time, I suspect it's going to be an irrelevance - you won't see her until September/October, and by that time she'll either have finished feeding or will be expressing less.

I exclusively expressed for 18 month old DS and currently doing so for 5 month old DD. I like to think I know all the tricks - handsfree double expressing bra etc - but stumped as to how she manages to get rigged up semi privately and adjust funnels etc as needs be.

It can't be great for all concerned. So, can you just find an empty room (preferably lockable. If not, a sign saying do no enter without knocking) and offer her the use of that. Problem solved. How is she storing the stuff to? Does she bring a cool bag? It will be fine once expressed for up to 7 hours at room temp but if she's out all day and expressing a lot, she ideally needs access to a fridge if poss

I think you should say to her really get her a room where she can do it, she isnt feeding her baby she is expresssing which is different imo, people would be up in arms if she took her breasts out to put cream on cracked nipples for example

As people are sitting down is one thing, but during group work activities is a bit much. You should definitely find somewhere nice she can go as an alternative though.

Offer a room for her to express in and work out when she needs the room to be available.
I don't think this is an issue about people being squeamish about breastfeeding (I breastfed everywhere). It's about a pump being quite noisy and distracting and as such the classroom isn't the best place for it. However, if you can't offer an alternative location then you will just need to accept that she expresses in class.

I guess she feels comfy about it or she wouldn't do it. Presumably the pump makes a noise? I would find it distracting trying to concentrate with a constant pumping noise going on near me in a class. Other people have presumably paid to be on the courses so they quite reasonably might be annoyed by regular distractions to their learning time.

Unfortunately I think you're probably going to attract a lot of responses along the lines of her legally being allowed to express (I presume that's the case?), so anyone who finds it distracting can put a blanket over their head. Something like that any way... Or the expressing in a toilet comments above.

Breastfeeding is fine, Id hope nobody would complain about that. But the pump? No - its just too noisy, and the noise will draw attention, too. & why should students want to hear it during groupwork activity anyway? She needs to be allocated a private space to do that.

Katie Thanks, I didn't know about this best practice thing!!

First thing I guess is to see about finding her an alternative and more appropriate space. The problem is that we're in a really manky old 70s building where all the office space is taken so I can see it ending up being a fucking stationary cupboard. Of course, she'd rightly be very unhappy about this.