how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

I would offer a suitable room if there is one.

You would also be perfectly reasonable to ask her not to pump during work/group time.

However, if you aren't seeing breast/nipple, then where is the harm in her pumping while in the same room as other people before the class starts?

What are the concerns of other students if they aren't even seeing any nipple though? Is it just a general squeamishness that milk comes from breasts?

I had the medela swing mini - it was bloody noisy! Couldn't hear the TV over it, woke DH up if I did it at night etc.

Of course, this may not be an issue if the pumping is only taking place during non learning time.

Yes ithought, it is.

It seems the main concern is the noise, so there needs to be a way to minimise this, yes?

Could she not use a hand-pump? That's what I had; no batteries, very little noise.

Alternatively, then she does need somewhere she can go to express prior to the class.

There are two separate issues here really with regards to 'off putting'. I think I should have used a better word!

One is that my students have expressed no pun intended concerns to me about this. This is my priority of course.

My own personal feelings about this (i.e. that I find it quite off putting) are completely separate and don't come into this at all. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned them as this isn't a personal thing for me at all.

Does it matter if it is noisy so long as she only uses it before class starts?

If it's the noise, then couldn't others wait outside at the beginning/end of lectures if it's bothering them?

During work activities seems odd.

What are your students' concerns susan?

tote That's really useful, thank you!!

It's possible that HE institutions, like any other employers, DO have to make a room (and a fridge) available to b/f mothers who wish to express, but that the OP's HR department hasn't bothered to check. I know a student isn't an employee but they'd have to organise it for a member of staff, I'm sure they can do it for this student.

We recently had this issue at work but fortunately we were able to offer a separate room. We then had a different issue as the mum would then spend up to an hour at a time in there twice or three times a day and her male manager did not feel he could just bang on the door and say 'out you come now'. Very awkward situation for all and a lot of complaints from staff who felt she was taking the mickey.
There are quite a few responses to the post along the lines of 'its none of your business'. Surely the moment someone elses actions start to affect you, it becomes your business doesn't it? The OP is having to field complaints from students, etc so this womans actions are having a direct affect on her and the students are also being distracted (whether they should be or not is irrelavent).

fledermaus I've had emails ranging from 'its digusting', 'the sight of the milk turns my stomach' 'its inappropriate' etc etc. I think you're right, the general idea that milk comes from boobs might be a root problem!

Yes thank you sangria I did manage to read her response to me myself.

I don't actually see a problem tbh if nothing can be seen. She's expressing milk for her baby to be fed and the only issue seems to be a little noise and the very awareness that it's happening .

This is very recognisable OP. I hope she's not a MNetter.

Agree with other posters saying find a nice non open-plan room with a plug socket, a comfy chair and ideally some fridge space. Talk to HR (in my workplace, the first aid room was the most suitable - though that has its drawbacks) and let her know that the pump noise is an issue, a room is available, and that you and other staff will permit her to leave class to go and use it whenever she wishes. (Might one of the motivations for pumping in classroom may be wanting to be present and not miss anything?)

You are right to be cautious, I can quite imagine in her position feeling quite prickly and defiant. She's probably had to fight a few battles to get to where she is today.

slithy yawn.

Sherbert This is the issue that whether or not I think the student complaints are warranted is irrelevant. The fact that students have complained means I have to deal with the issus affecting them, which is the lady expressing.

I would have an issue with it at a time when learning activities/group work are going on because it is not appropriate at those times, when all the students need to be fully focused on the task at hand, including the woman concerned. If what she is doing is distracting the other students then she needs to do it somewhere else or at another time.

I think everyone is so scared of somehow insulting a breastfeeding mother that the obvious point - a classroom is for learning - is being overlooked. I teach: if one of my students decided s/he wanted to carry out an entirely different one to the one I'd set, I would tell them that they couldn't.

To be honest if your students are complaining because "that nasty lady has milk in her boobies" then I wouldn't start hassling this woman to appease them.

If the noise is disruptive during group work then address that, but if the idea that breasts are used to feed babies is the problem then tell your students to get over it.

Offering this woman a more private, suitable place if she wants it would be a good idea though.

I think you really need to make some further adjustments. I bf and pumped when I returned to work in the Armed Forces - and at no time was I made to feel that it was inappropriate. This included expressing (in uniform so no handy 'holes') in the Permanent Joint Headquarters (a 1970's concrete bunker), at MOD main building, at The Met Office whilst on course, in several defence contractors' buildings, airfield control towers and on exercise in a tent! If the 'misogynistic' AF can manage to find a private room for such activities in all these places then I think a liberal and forward thinking HE establishment can find somewhere else too!

If she is unwilling to go into purdah - and frankly if she is this accomplished then she might think it unnecessary - then I feel it is up to the students around her to start to think and act as the adults they purport to be. I think she should have your full support - young baby, bf and education to improve her and her child's future - she is a feminist ideal - good for her!

susan if those are the reasons for the students complaining, I'm not sure they have a leg to stand on legally.

That said, is the right to express covered legally in the same way that bf is, e.g. It can be done anywhere?