how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

Our local Primani kicked a woman out for breastfeeding a few years back. Bunch of dumbfucks.

If she started doing it in the exams (and there's no reason to think this is a given) then people would be a little bit disturbed by the noise until the invigilator asked her to stop. I find it hard to imagine any decent university allowing the equipment at the desk before the start of the exam without enquiring what it was and being able to sort the issue out in advance. But at least it's an activity the invigilator can step in and stop. It would probably be less annoying than all the mobile phones that were in bags lined up along the back wall that went off in my exams (despite all students being informed in several different ways that phones must be turned off completely).

Well as I said, it would be easy for the invigilator to ask her to stop and to step in before she's even started, given the equipment she'd need to have at her desk.

So far nobody has told her she's disturbing them in group work. She doesn't pump during the lecture part of the class, only the noisier group work part and few of the complaints are about the noise, so it's possible she's quite aware that she would disturb a quiet environment but has reasonably gauged that the noise isn't bad in group work (maybe not, since no one has actually talked to her).

And she may be able to go without pumping for two hours, it might just not be very convenient so she gets on with things in ways she thinks won't harm anyone. That doesn't indicate her not being bothered, just having a different take on the situation and not having anyone else mention anything to her, weeks after she started, she doesn't really have reason to think otherwise.

We don't even know what the group work is. It may be well within the bounds of disruption that others cause as they get ready for group work (moving around, plugging their laptops in, getting books out of bags, finding their water bottle, using it as an excuse to stretch their legs briefly). Her group work may not involve taking notes or otherwise using her hands (or not initially during the point where she's setting herself up). We don't know. The OP hasn't mentioned disruption, she's said most people just seem a bit icked out by the idea milk comes from breasts. Though a few have mentioned noise. If there is something specific to talk to her about, that's reasonable. But the assumption it is unreasonably disruptive and she should have realized isn't based on anything the OP has posted about the situation.

But it must be disruptive to group work.
How can it not be?
How can she engage fully, take notes, read the materials, when one or both hands are tied up and her attention diverted whilst she connects and disconnects, etc.

Apart from the noise which won't necessarily be loud enough to be disruptive, the same applies to breastfeeding and I would have had no issue whatsoever having conversations and taking notes while breastfeeding.

But she won't be winding and there won't be a baby crying.

Babies don't generally cry or need winding when breastfeeding though.

come on

Come on what?

You were saying she wouldn't be able to function and I was pointing out that I could have done all those thing while BFing, not that I'd attempt to undertake a Masters degree while placating a crying baby!

It will inevitably be distracting for other students and the lecturer. No workplace would allow women to express while at a meeting or presentation so I'm not sure why some people think a university should be any different.

It will inevitably be distracting for other students and the lecturer

It's possible but not inevitable. I wouldn't find it distracting during a group work session and, unless it was very loud, it would be no more distracting to others than traffic noise if you have the window open or a fan running.

Depending on the noise I wouldn't find it distracting after the first instance. If it was as noisey as my own pump I would find it distracting and irritating, but I had one of those huge double things and it irritated me when I was using it!.

I don't see why anyone would expect university to be like a work place, it's entirely different. It's a diverse environment in which people have a huge range of personal goals and circumstances but are coming together in a shared endeavour. It's not a contract in which you submit to others' directions and commands in return for money.

If it isn't that noisy and really the only problem is that some of your students are acting like children, I wouldn't say a word. I'd be royally fucked off if I were her.

WOn't she now be forced to miss some class time because of this? Because some overgrown children have their stonachs turned at the site of a woman using her breasts for what they are fucking intended for.

As long as only women can get pregnant and make milk we either support them doing what they do or we continue to have an employment and education gap

*I don't see why anyone would expect university to be like a work place, it's entirely different.

It's not entirely different at all especially for those who work in one such as OP and myself!

So far nobody has told her she's disturbing them in group work

It's not a contract in which you submit to others' directions and commands

Er, yes it is.

For a staff person whatever, sure. But for a staff person, Disneyland is a work place, doesn't mean people who pay to go there would expect to be treated as though they were employees.

Phaedra only in the same way you submit to direction and control when you go to, say, a gym. People paying for a service have their own goals, they aren't there simply to further the goals of the institution and they (should) have an expectation that the institution will attempt to accomodate their goals as far as possible within the boundaries of the service provided.

Oh for goodness sake do you really think there's no contract between a university and its students?

That the university senate and teaching staff don't require students to abide by the requirements of the teaching staff and university rules?

I think you misunderstood my last post. Yes there's a contract, but there's a contract when you join a gym too (hence my gym example). You enter into a contract when you park a car and when you buy a ticket to a gig. Many contracts for service require you to abide by the directions of representatives of the institution and I haven't said the expressing woman shouldn't abide by the university's requirements and if she is actually disrupting other students then she should be asked to adapt (e.g. wait or use the other room).

What I am saying is that this is a contract where the university is serving the student in exchange for money. It's not the student beholden to the university, and that is different in terms of expectations, especially over arbitary requests such as whether a particular activity should be disallowed on a whim.

Well, firstly, you tell the other students to stop victimising her, and report any attacks on her to the head, who should deal with them apparopraitely. Then you grow up and leave her alone as well. She is expressing FGS it's not a big deal.