how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

Sounds as if you are doing your best to find a Solution
May I suggest you also try to educate the other students re the fact that milk comes out of breasts to feed babies something they seemed to have forgotten
Hope you find a suitable room and other students learn something

LePolarBear - surely her doing it before the class has started isn't a problem though?

OP - "The fact that students have complained means I have to deal with the issus affecting them"

So regardless of what the complaint is, you have to deal with it? What if the complaint was about women wearing short skirts in class?

So if she is discrete and nothing is visible what is the actual problem? Tough if the other students find it disgusting. Would you feel the same about her breastfeeding a baby if the other students complained?

Do you need a nap ithought?

Bf is not the same as expressing. It doesn't require electronic equipment or a fridge, and it is less noisy, therefore less impactful. It is also protected by law.

That said, if the only issue for the students is that they find it gross etc, I don't think they have a leg to stand on. Noise and disruption is another matter.

Silly students. I am concerned that the mother needs a better option for expressing rather than their poor stomachs being turned by the sight of milk. FFS.

Maybe the young woman doesn't know that a separate room could be made available for her?

Re the above poster and the woman spending an hour on the BF room. Sometimes it might take that! Though after my return to work I still used to use the BF room for a short nap even when I had stopped expressing! A bit cheeky I know but Dd didn't sleep and I was desperate!

What is she doing with the milk once it's expressed? Presumably not putting it in a fridge if she's sitting through a class.

Disrupting group classwork is not, in my view, acceptable and is selfish behaviour on her part.

I have no problem with people breastfeeding in public but I think getting a electric breast pump out in front of a room full of people and expressing is a bit much. It's a very personal thing and indeed I find it a bit bizarre that anyone would actually choose to do this in front of a load of people they don't even know that well. I think your idea is the best one. Find her somewhere appropriate between classes that she can express and store milk and then hopefully that will resolve the issue.

Do not suggest to a woman who's happily using an electric pump that she should switch to a hand pump!

Just read your students' comments about it being disgusting and nauseating - how immature, and how awful for your student that her peers feel this way. This kind of attutide seems more about lactation in general than pumping in public. If she's coping with that too, it's even more important that she feels your on her side.

Sorry but I think this is rather exhibitionist. There really is no need for her to express in front of other people. There is no baby there immediately needing to be fed which would be absolutely fine. She should organise herself that she does it in private.

As a previous bfer myself I would find this rather . As a uni student I would also find it a bit . Lectures are usually only for 2 hours max, she could go off and do it afterwards. I am sure she is aware that if she asked for a private place to do it, she would be accommodated, she has just chosen not to.

you're!

I have to say though, depending on the level of noise and disruption, I don't think this is appropriate during group activities.

Can anyone link to the legislation? Iirc, the only legal requirement is to provide an appropriate facility for expressing. Not sure where anyone stands if the expressing mother chooses not to use it.

People can be "off-put" by all sorts of things but you have to woman up and decide whether their being put-off is reasonable or not. If your otherwise white student body were put off by having a black member of the class, I should think you would tell them where to get off if they dared to complain to you. Is this like that, or not? It isn't up to you to be neutral and just act on complaints without analysis.

I think you need to do some legal research before you decide what to do next. Best case scenario of course is that she can continue to express, in another place which doesn't disturb anyone, but assuming that such a place can even be found, if this is incompatible with her timetable you may find yourself on a sticky wicket in terms of equality legislation as you would be arguably excluding her from class by saying she can't express there.

It's not really up to us - you need to get legal advice first

puddock OP has to be on the side of all her students, not just the one interrupting class work.

Personally it seems quite confrontational to time her pumping to be at the start or during a class rather than 15 minutes before.

only 'a liberal and forward thinking HE establishment'..... if only!!

Silly Actually this situation has reminded me of one a few years ago when I had to deal with a student with personal hygiene issues.

I've contacted HR and my HoD about private space for this student. TBH, coming on here has confirmed a lot of what I was thinking which is that there are many thorny and multifaceted issues here with very different perspectives. This has come down on me to deal with as the lecturer with most contact with the students but however this falls, someone is going to be pissed off about it and that's going to come back to me- either because I acted and made an expressing woman sit in a cupboard or because I didn't create a good learning environment for students even after multiple complaints.

I'm not happy that this has come down to me to deal with really

Doesn't employment law state that women should be provide with a place to express and keep bm?

Is that the same for FE?

If she hasn't been offered an alternative I can see why she feels she has no choice but to do it before the other students came in.

I cannot imagine why she would prefer to express in that environment if she had a choice.

I bf four of mine so am pro. I wouldn't have fancied expressing in public though.

The bigger picture here is that if this mother is determined to bf and cannot find a way to make it compatible with attending college, she is perhaps looking at losing a year of her life to bf the baby in private before coming back to continue her studies. Is that what we want breastfeeding to mean?

Interestingly, I've just checked, it's not even law to provide a room for expressing, just best practice.

www.hse.gov.uk/mothers/faqs.htm#q14

susan how long is the class, how often does she express in one class, and how noisy is the pump?

I can't find anything legal stating that expressing is protected like bf is - meaning that students being disgusted by it, while immature and unnecessary, may be enough of a reason to ask her to stop.

Pretty shitty situation really and interesting that expressing seems to fall through a crack in the legislation.

However - look at it another way. If this was a work context instead of educational, would it be ok for OP to express in the same environment? I would say not.

Doing it before class is fine, I can see that during class the noise would be disruptive but if there is no alternative then expressing before class is fine.

Of you can find her somewhere suitable then great.

Re putting milk in fridge, bmilk can be kept at room ttemp for up to six hours buy maybe she has a cool bag/pack for it?

And of your students are complaining because they find it gross or don't like aEwing the milk they need to get a grip!

Employment law does require that. We don't know if she has asked. I'm assuming not, since even if there wasn't a separate room presumably there is a canteen/common room which could be used before lectures but she's making a point here.

I'm all in favour of bf-ing wherever and whenever you need to, but expressing is different for all the reasons other people have outlined.

If she must do it on the premises, then it should be in a more private room - someone's office, or a corner of the staff room (though that's not ideal). Is there a first aid room there at all?

It's not required by law

Those are not acceptable reasons for your students to ask her to stop and you should. Be very careful before you approach her without real cause for complaint.

You can't take the students side simply because they complain - what if they made racist or sexist complaints for example? You have to listen and decide if their complaints are reasonable

If she is not disrupting lessons I'm not sure you have reason to ask her to stop

I'm appalled at how your students are talking about expressing - its the way she feeds her baby and ridiculous to say bf would be acceptable but pumping isn't - she can't have her baby there so this is the way she feeds it

Which I'm shocked by

Has anyone offered her a room?

And has anyone told the ickle students to stop being so daft. 'Ugh, boobies!' is very immature.