how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

And- it may not be true, and there may be no real evidence, but you would have to investigate it, call in the other students, and explain as an institution why you didn't proactively help her manage the expressing/issues of being a mother- e.g. by providing her with information on where to do this. It is not just up to her to initiate this.

So she carts a big, noisy machine into college as well as her baby and expresses milk in class. What point is she trying to make?

Expressed milk doesn't have to go in the fridge straight away - it's fine to store at room temperature for a couple of hours!

Drank I would hand it to the director of undergraduate studies who deals with student complaints all the time, I also don't tend to take on these type of cases, as they have a better knowledge of the policies and regulations.

I don't think she brings the baby with her, I think her DH looks after it.

Very good point, napoleon. Think someone should tell the students their comments could amount to bullying and to keep their noses out.

I also agree with napoleon (and others) I reckon she's making a Breastfeeding Point.

She might have a cool bag to keep the milk in. That would be fine for a few hours.

You absolutely cannot deal with this on your own. You need to establish what College practice is and talk to HoD about what you should do. Whichever way you go, someone will be unhappy and it is not for a lecturer to decide what policy should be on this issue. DH is HoD and even he would not make this decision without establishing what stance the institution wanted to take.

I would ask her to stop. I expressed at work for nearly a year and would never have done it in an office with other colleagues around.

Anyone who is in a classroom/office is there to work and not to pursue any personal issues. I would, as others have said, offer a facility outside of the classroom, but, absent necessity, it is not appropriate to carry on any personal non-learning activities in a class-room environment or engage in a practice which consistently distracts other students (either because of the noise or because she has to cease participating in group work).

I would explain you do appreciate her position and are willing to make facilities available outside the class-room.

How odd. Almost like she's trying to make a statement.

I have a lot of sympathy for the student. I can't describe the amount of anxiety that expressing caused me. It was a different situation (baby in nicu, needing to pump every 3 hours day and night to establish supply, nurses constantly telling me how important it was, plus a 2 hour round trip to the hospital to add to the stress). But I often expressed in the car in full view of people, and didn't give a flying fuck.

I am now bf, but it now takes 2 days worth of expressing to get enough milk to enable me to go out for a run for an hour. I can only imagine how hard it must be to express enough to go back to work/ study full time.

I don't understand why you think name-changing is going to protect your anonymity here. Am I missing something?

If this girl, or indeed anyone who knows this situation reads this thread, they're going to figure out exactly who you are.

Using a different moniker isn't going to hide you. All name-changing is going to do is save you from being recognised by other MNers when next you post.

The before class pumping is one thing but in a two hour window, with a five month old does she really need to express again during the class. It feels like she's making a point. And the in class expressing is noisy. I had an electric pump. It wasn't quiet at all.

Definitely hand this over. It's not your job to deal with.

Oh calm down Officer. Some people are just suggesting compromises and going around ranting that the rest of the world has to bend over backwards to accommodate a woman's need to express really doesn't help gain tolerance and understanding. It just sounds defensive and OTT.

Wouldn't all that expressing just make expressing more necessary?

Unless her days at college are very long she might be setting up an artificial feeding pattern which is necessitating her expressing because her breasts are getting full up.

Does that make any sense?

I am trying to remember how often I fed my lot when they were 6 mths old and my youngest is 4 so I might be talking rubbish.

It sounds like an awful lot of faff and work for her to cart an electric pump about and have to get to class early to do it.

Poor woman.

The fact that you've said she's 'feisty' and you're anxious about making an approach made me think that she's trying to Make A Point, almost goading people into commenting. Especially when the classes are two hours long, max.

Doing it immediately before class, whilst a bit odd, I can get on board with. But working quietly in close quarters with three or four other people who you barely know when you'll be on your merry way in an hour or so? Not ok. I don't want to sit watching someone who's supposed to be focusing on a group task get themselves set up, then listen to a whirring noise in the background for fifteen minutes when discussing a group project. I bet you she won't want to use a feeding room.

Maybe she has a low supply and needs to express little and often, who knows.

Agree with all the comments that it is for HR to deal with and that the student is possibly making a point.

I don't see that the college will be in the wrong if they provide a suitable place for the student to use, and gently insist on it.

officer do you think that the student should have the right to decline the use of a private room! and continue pumping in class?

Exclamation mark unintentional, stupid ipad

Op, I don't think you are going to get an unbiast opinion by posting on Mumsnet where a high percentage of members are pro bf and into all things baby in general. In the outside world a class full of college students probably dont care one iota about babies or Bfing and many may find the whole expressing thing yukkie and yes probably would complain. A few years from now they will see things in a whole different light and be sitting here on mumsnet just like the rest of us.