Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh fuck. Had a massive argument with ds. Said things I shouldn't. Now I don't know where he is

131 replies

snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 21:52

It's pissing down. He doesn't have a coat or a phone. My husband has gone to look for him but he really could be anywhere. What do I actually do? He's 16. Just finished GCSEs

OP posts:
Hurr1cane · 27/06/2014 21:54

Just wait for him to cool off. Unless you said something really horrific?

Nanny0gg · 27/06/2014 21:56

Know any friends he could have gone to?

longtallsally2 · 27/06/2014 21:56

No answers for you but holding your hand a little. Remember that teenagers are programmed to push you to the limit: it's part of the leaving-the-nest process. We would never be able to let them go if they stayed small and snuggly.

Most of us say things that we shouldn't, when pushed. You will have the chance to apologise for what you said, and will have a chance to come back here and plan how to deal with it next time. But for now, don't beat yourself up. Did he take his phone? Can you text him and say you are sorry for reacting as you did?

Hope that they are back soon for you.

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 21:56

I told him to piss off to his dad's. it was a silly argument. My husband worked 12 hours today, got home, heated up the tea I'd left him then ds walked in and took it away and started eating it himself

OP posts:
Etah · 27/06/2014 21:58

There wasn't enough foo for everybody?

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 21:59

What a stupid fucking thing to have such a big argument over

OP posts:
nocheeseinhouse · 27/06/2014 22:00

Handholding. However, I'd move somewhere else for some support rather than AIBU.

Be kind to yourself, but also remember his brain isn't grown up yet, and so you have to be the grown up when you've both cooled off. He'll be at a mate's.

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:02

Yes of course enough food. Teenager decided he wasn't hungry at tea time. He could have heated his up at any time

I've posted this in the wrong place. Sorry

But what do I actually do? Have texted the only friends number I have. He doesn't actually see friends really outside school which is partly why I'm so worried - I just really don't know where he could be and it really is chucking it down

OP posts:
SweetsForMySweet · 27/06/2014 22:02

He's probably just leaving his hair down now that the exams are over. Was the argument about him going out tonight? Would he be gone out celebrating with his friends but thought/knew you wouldn't let him go so he caused the fight and left his mobile at home so he could go anyway and you couldn't contact him? Have you called around his friend's houses, tried the local park or hang out places. Does he have money with him? if not he can't be gone too far so he'll be home sooner rather than later. Does he have a girlfriend/boyfriend that he could be out with? He'll calm down eventually and come home.

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:03

How do I get this moved? And to where?

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 27/06/2014 22:04

So has he pissed off to his dad's?
Give him until midnight to calm down, he'll be back home or at a mates.
Try facebook.

Good luck.

Jinsei · 27/06/2014 22:08

Have you checked with his dad, OP?

SweetsForMySweet · 27/06/2014 22:09

Sorry op, I just saw the update. Have you contacted his dad in case he shows up there? Have you other family/friends nearby that he might have gone to?We all say things in the heat of the moment, I'm sure you ds knows you didn't mean it, you were just letting off steam. He'll be home before you know it

londonrach · 27/06/2014 22:10

(Holding your hand)

longtallsally2 · 27/06/2014 22:10

Just click on report, and ask MNHQ to move this to the "Teenagers" section.

Has he got his phone with him? Does he have money? (Is there a chip shop/Macdonalds nearby?)

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:14

He doesn't have a phone. Or rather he never charges it or has credit. His dad lives 2 hours away by public transport

OP posts:
AlpacaYourThings · 27/06/2014 22:16

If its by public transport have you tried looking at the bs stops/train stations he would use to get there?

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:17

How do you mean 'looking at them' alpaca?

OP posts:
Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:21

He's a lovely lad really he's just very lazy. Spends literally hours watching films on the computer and doing the very barest minimum round the house. Doesn't really go out to see friends. I remarried, met DH when ds was 7. We now have a nearly 4yo and a 10mo. Ds hates dc2, really hates. Dc2 is totally normal for age and all that that means. It's difficult giving all 3 of them my time but I work hard at being a good mum to them all

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 27/06/2014 22:22

I think she means going in the car and seeing if he's waiting at the bus stop.

I hope he's home soon.

My ds is not much younger than yours and I know what a challenge it can be.

AlpacaYourThings · 27/06/2014 22:23

Sorry, I meant looking for him at them...

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:26

Thank you for the replies.

I don't have a car (live in a city) and I'm still breastfeeding baby so don't feel as though I can just go looking. Don't feel that I can contact his dad as I have very little to do with him. Quite frankly he's been waiting for me to fail for years and don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing it

OP posts:
PorkPieandPickle · 27/06/2014 22:31

Would your husband go look for him at bus stop etc? Could you afford him a taxi if he doesn't drive?

I'm sure he will be fine. I remember waltzing off like this as a teenager and coming back wet and apologetic.

Charlie97 · 27/06/2014 22:31

He will be home once he has 'punished' you enough! No harm will come to him.

Still horrid for you so Thanks

Original poster
snorkyorky · 27/06/2014 22:33

My husband says I should just go to bed and he'll stay up. Do you think I should? I'll be up in the night with the baby anyway

OP posts: