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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to call 101 on my nasty, naked neighbour?

258 replies

Pumpkinpositive · 26/06/2014 23:54

Just that. Is it a police matter?

11:30 pm. Dark outside. Neighbour in flat directly opposite mine, lights on, no curtains in bedroom, wondering back and forward around bedroom bollock naked chatting to girlfriend (clothed).

This is a tenement flat with large, below-the-waist height windows. One cannot be oblivious to the potential of neighbours copping an eyeful.

I don't want to go all Plymouth Brethren on someone if it's just a one off. Should I wait for a repeat performance?

This person is hermetically sealed to his desktop pc 24/7 and I have long harboured suspicions about what he may be watching. The flat also has a history of previous tenants shagging against the selfsame bedroom window at 11am on a weekday morning.

Perfectly prepared to be told I am BU. Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Bonnetdelouche · 27/06/2014 09:31

unrealhousewife Because witnesses also count as evidence and the police's stance was 'why would these people say this for no reason?'

Also, to clarify, the lying cunts said they saw him on several different occasions. On one he was at work but couldn't prove it and on one of the others he was somewhere else. The point was that the police decided immediately that DH was lying and refused to deviate from that belief no matter what. Their behaviour both towards me and him was utterly appalling and if we hadn't wanted to just get on with our lives we would have taken legal action.

It was literally the worst year of our lives. DH was depressed and suicidal and I will never forgive the lying scum.

Birdsgottafly · 27/06/2014 09:35

I often walk round naked waiting for my false tan to dry, but also generally.

I will go into my back garden topless, if I need to put something in the bin. I tend to cover my nipples.

I do have my blinds permanently shut, but occasionally the window is open and they've moved.

I'm not going to be dressed at all times in my own home, I do my best not to inflict my nakedness on my neighbours, but quite frankly, they don't have to look in my direction.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 27/06/2014 09:36

Bonnet your posts are making my blood run cold. I think being accused of something, especially sexual offenses, when you simply have not done it must be one of the worst nightmares that can happen to you. The thing is- the police assume people are rational and therefore not making it up, but my experience over the years tells me some people really do make up stuff, exaggerate and believe their own stories and sue others on the basis of nothing- I have seen this happen myself and the stress until the real story comes out is really horrendous.

PrimalLass · 27/06/2014 09:37

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout Fri 27-Jun-14 00:58:09
Putting it bluntly. It's home, his body his business, so if he wants to be naked in the confinment of his four walls, it's up to him.

Not necessarily.

PrimalLass · 27/06/2014 09:41

But Bonnetdelouche - there are cases of people doing this for very dodgy reasons (exposing themselves for sexual reasons). In fact, I am sure I have read stories on here about it before.

Sorry that you went through such a hard time because of someone vindictive.

unrealhousewife · 27/06/2014 09:46

But Bonnet didn't the police just warn him and tell him to put curtains up? I seems like an extraordinary length to go to and a waste of taxpayers money.

Bonnetdelouche · 27/06/2014 09:47

Thenapoleonofcrime If someone had told me the same thing had happened to them before it happened to us, I never would have believed it and would have probably thought 'no smoke without fire'. I now know that totally innocent people can be and are arrested and charged on no more than the word of other people.

PrimalLass I agree, sometimes people do do this. The issue I see is that people generally seem to believe if someone is naked in their own home, there must automatically be something dodgy about it.

Anyway, I have calmed down a bit and apologise for the thread hijack. I just wanted the people in favour of calling the police to report someone naked in their own home to see the potential consequences of their actions and the impact it can have on the accused and their family. And perhaps ask that they think before picking up the phone.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2014 09:53

It took over six months of constantly reporting a guy exposing himself (fully erect) out of his window, to the Mothers and kids on the school run round the corner to me.

By the end of it there were at least 20 reports from different witnesses, but the Police had to catch him in the act before they could realistically do anything.

They even had plain clothed police officers parked in the street to try to catch him, but no luck.

Eventually they asked the head teacher of the school, to put a note out to all parents telling them that it had escalated to a 'blue light matter', and that they were to call 999 as soon as they saw him.

He flashed at my neighbour, she called 999 and luckily there was a police car in the next road. They caught him (naked and erect) and arrested him.

He tried to protest that he'd just got out of the bath, but the bath was totally dry when they went to look.

This is the amount of effort the police were willing to put in to catching him. Reports of someone simply sitting naked in his own home, chatting to his girlfriend would have been a complete waste of time.

APlaceInTheSummer · 27/06/2014 10:02

When I lived in a tenement flat in Glasgow I'd often wander around naked. My front windows had open views across the city so there was no-one to see me there and I'd sometimes forget that wasn't the case with my side windows. I never looked into my opposite neighbours' windows so it didn't cross my mind that they would be watching me even though the blocks were probably the same distance away as the OP's.
I think OP that this incident isn't cause to dial 101 and if, for whatever reason, your neighbours seem to catch your attention a lot then I'd think about new curtains or blinds.

deakymom · 27/06/2014 10:58

is it ugly naked guy from friends?

Offler · 27/06/2014 11:12

I did jury duty many years ago for a similar case. Prosecution alleged the defendant was exposing himself and masturbating in full view in his ground floor flat. Numerous inconsistencies and the fact the defendant was in their own flat led us to a not guilty verdict.

Main witness statement that the defendant was using two hands did make us laugh, we wondered if we could ask for a view at the offending member to see if it was possible Grin

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2014 11:21

Reading the opening post again, it does nothing to dispel the myth that we Brits are uptight about nudity.

There must be people from other parts of Europe, laughing their arses off at this thread Grin

On a more serious note, the OP claims her neighbour is 'nasty' and yet has posted nothing to back that up Confused

MyFairyKing · 27/06/2014 11:55

This is hilarious. You cannot be serious. Grin

Man is naked, late at night, in his own home talking to his partner. He also spends a lot of time on the computer. Must be a crime, call the po-leese!!!

Sallyingforth · 27/06/2014 12:01

Perfectly prepared to be told I am BU.

Good. You are BU.

What people do in the privacy of their own house is entirely their own business. Don't look into others' windows.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2014 12:01

Perhaps he's a Mumsnetter? Shock Grin

GobTheGoblin · 27/06/2014 12:10

What floor is he on, the ground floor, first floor, second etc?

patjen · 27/06/2014 12:13

This reminds me of the time my ex-boyfriend got accidentally ( I must stress that, lol) seen by a crocodile of primary kids out for a daily stroll...

He had a cat which had fallen out of upstairs window into the garden and was injured. Not really thinking about his nude state, just had a shower, he was bending over to reach out to the poor thing when a crocodile of kids led by their teacher walked up the road...

He nervously expected a police call all evening... Grin

Nudity in itself is harmless. That's my point.

Crinkle77 · 27/06/2014 12:15

maybe you could put an anonymous note through his door telling him he can be seen.

Gruntfuttock · 27/06/2014 12:35

If the OP just stopped looking there wouldn't be a problem would there? She obviously spends a lot of time looking at him or she wouldn't know how much time he spends on his computer. Ridiculous to ask "Is it a police matter?" No, of course it isn't! Mind your own business. Why did you say he's 'nasty' btw?

prettybird · 27/06/2014 12:49

When I lived in a tenement flat (2nd floor), the guy opposite used to often walk around his bedroom (and even walk into his lounge) naked. I could either watch he did have a nice figure Wink or choose not to look.

What he does in his house/flat is his business.

I might think you were more reasonable if he were on the ground floor and people were walking past his window - but it sounds like you are talking about an upper floor so there is still a street separating you.

CarryOn90 · 27/06/2014 12:53

OP you sound like Aunt Petunia in the HP books, always craning her neck over the garden fence, obsessed with what the neighbours are up to Grin

And how do you know he's never off his computer? How much time do you spent watching him, exactly? Hmm

InThisTogether · 27/06/2014 13:08

Maybe I have missed the point...

is he engaging in a sexual act? doing something perverted? Rubbing himself suggestively against the window? deliberately waving his parts at you?

or is he just naked?

Because newsflash, we're all naked under our clothes.

I think YABU, there's nothing worng with the human body.

Gruntfuttock · 27/06/2014 13:12

"Because newsflash, we're all naked under our clothes."

Shock OMG. That can't be true! Please tell me you're joking.

PhaedraIsMyName · 27/06/2014 13:28

What people do in the privacy of their own house is entirely their own business

Actually it isn't.

Don't look into others' windows What nonsense.OP has every right to look out her windows even if that means she's looking into the flat opposite if that's the way they are built. Her neighbour on the other hand , depending on his intent , does not have the right to walk around naked in her sight.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2014 13:42

What people do in the privacy of their own house is entirely their own business

Actually it isn't. True, but it is when they're not breaking the law and this guy isn't.

Her neighbour on the other hand , depending on his intent , does not have the right to walk around naked in her sight.

There has been no illegal intent described by the OP whatsoever.