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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to call 101 on my nasty, naked neighbour?

258 replies

Pumpkinpositive · 26/06/2014 23:54

Just that. Is it a police matter?

11:30 pm. Dark outside. Neighbour in flat directly opposite mine, lights on, no curtains in bedroom, wondering back and forward around bedroom bollock naked chatting to girlfriend (clothed).

This is a tenement flat with large, below-the-waist height windows. One cannot be oblivious to the potential of neighbours copping an eyeful.

I don't want to go all Plymouth Brethren on someone if it's just a one off. Should I wait for a repeat performance?

This person is hermetically sealed to his desktop pc 24/7 and I have long harboured suspicions about what he may be watching. The flat also has a history of previous tenants shagging against the selfsame bedroom window at 11am on a weekday morning.

Perfectly prepared to be told I am BU. Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
sykadelic · 27/06/2014 01:26

If he made a habit of it I would consider reporting him (disturbing the enjoyment of my property maybe?) because I shouldn't have to stop looking out my windows to avoid throwing up in my mouth.

Actually, maybe you should sit in a chair, REALLY close to the window, with a cigarette and a glass of wine and just stare intently until he notices? Or invite friends over and record yourself laughing raucously and open your window and play the laughter on full volume? OR put a "GET SOME BLINDS" sign for the outside of your curtains so you can close them for him to read?

Mwahahaha. God. If my neighbour was nekkid :S

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 27/06/2014 01:26

*ugly not naked
Of course he's bloody naked
Should go to bef

wafflyversatile · 27/06/2014 01:31

I'm naked in my living room right now. I was worried it was me until you said bedroom.

I'm forever flashing the world when I wander about and realise I've wandered into the probable square of visibility. The closest flats across the road are a way away but some unfortunate on the bus could be looking in the wrong direction at the wrong time and be visually assaulted.

singaporeswing · 27/06/2014 03:44

True fact - it's illegal to walk around your flat naked in Singapore.

Despite the fact that it is so pissing hot that that is all you can do to get comfortable.

Pipbin · 27/06/2014 07:16

Some posters, op included, are saying that this is different because it is a tenement flat.
I'm not sure of the implication of this. Can someone explain why this is different. I'm finding it difficult to visualise how close the other flat is.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 07:20

Oh dear op, yabvvu. A person nekkid in their own house Shock. Close your curtains!

Mckayz · 27/06/2014 07:29

One of my friends was visited by the police as he walked naked from his bathroom to his bedroom and a lady happened to look up at the window. She rang the police to complain and the police told him to try and remember to shut his bedroom curtains before going for a shower.

He said she shouldn't have been looking.

londonrach · 27/06/2014 07:31

Yabu. Person in own house naked with stalker neighbour watches every move and reports said neighbour is always on computer. (How you know unless you watching all the time) Personally I'd be calling the police on you. Is this a reverse Aibu! Or are we in a middle of a spying plot! You a pi?

Original poster
Pumpkinpositive · 27/06/2014 07:36

Some posters, op included, are saying that this is different because it is a tenement flat.
I'm not sure of the implication of this. Can someone explain why this is different. I'm finding it difficult to visualise how close the other flat is.

I don't think I said it was different because it's a tenement flat. I was responding to the claims that I must have been voyeuring/ have a pair of binoculars in order to see. It was impossible to avoid with him standing at the window in bright light.

I'm rubbish at judging distance. I would say 4 cars lengths between the two buildings? Close enough so you'd be able to have a conversation with your neighbours across without straining your voice.

Daylight has revealed the flat does have blinds, they're just never down.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumpkinpositive · 27/06/2014 07:54

I'm not convinced the Glasgow bobbies (who might be more familiar with tenement living) would be quite as dismissive as posters on here think, especially if this becomes a regular thing.

Phaedra, interesting. I googled it and found a case of a man near Glasgow convicted of breach of the peace for a single instance of the same three years ago. It was in daylight though, and observed by a school bus load of teenagers (oops!)

news.stv.tv/west-central/277715-schoolchildren-saw-naked-man-standing-at-window/

OP posts:
PlumpPartridge · 27/06/2014 08:01

Put up a sign saying 'I don't want to see your willy - please close the curtains! '

Make the letters nice and big. Don't call the police unless you think they need a good laugh!

PhaedraIsMyName · 27/06/2014 08:11

I see that case was done as breach of the peace. That's a catch all for behaviour the court doesn't like and doesn't just mean noisy, rowdy behaviour in public. I don't think the fact it was primarily school children who saw him makes much difference.

There a lot of people on here who think the fact he's in his own home makes it OK. That may well be the case in some places but that is not necessarily correct in Scotland. I'm sure I've come across similar cases which have been prosecuted.

Bonnetdelouche · 27/06/2014 08:21

Yes, you are being very fucking unreasonable. I apologise in advance because this thread has made me absolutely fucking livid and I am going to be very blunt. Someone called the police on us a couple of years ago, saying something similar about DH. Except the lying scum decided to claim that he was also masturbating and he was doing it regularly so children could see. They also took photos through our windows which showed nothing more than DH in the living room without a shirt on.

It was total bullshit but it caused us over a year of misery and anxiety and thousands of pounds in legal fees because the police decided to believe the lying scum and arrest him. We still have no real idea why they did it and assume that they must have seen DH coming out of the bathroom or getting changed, felt they wouldn't be taken seriously so decided to up the ante. Thankfully, it was thrown out of court (in part because the lying scum admitted perjuring themselves and the police had withheld evidence that proved DH was elsewhere at the time).

So THAT is why you should not call 101 on your neighbour, stop trying to peer in his window so you can be offended and if it really bothers you that much, put a note through his door.

I will be asking for this post to be deleted for obvious reasons but I'm putting it out there for a short time so those of you who think it's a good idea to report someone for being naked IN THEIR OWN HOME, thus risking getting them a criminal record and being put on the sex offenders' register can see what a terrible idea it really is.

And no, there really isn't any more to it. This is the whole story.

Floggingmolly · 27/06/2014 08:42

Should I wait for repeat performances?. If it bothers you stop bloody looking!!

DottyDooRidesAgain · 27/06/2014 08:44

Bonn that is absolutely terrible. I am sorry you and your family have gone through that.

I think indecent exposure (actual) in somebodies own home is very very rare and if anyone does report it to the police they need to make sure it is indecent exposure (not just walking around their home in the nude unaware) and the police need to gather proper evidence not just hear say.

Mrsjayy · 27/06/2014 08:47

He maybe doesnt realise you are oggling seeing him shut your curtains being naked in your own bed room isnt illegal if he was waving his willy out the windows that would be indecent

NoArmaniNoPunani · 27/06/2014 08:47

Yesterday there was a thread about how people misuse 101 for all kinds of non important crap. Now this.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2014 08:48

That link has nothing to do with the guy in the opening post

The guy in the link was standing naked in his window...whereas the guy in the OP was just just going about his normal life, in his own home.

The OP needs to take personal responsibility here and simply close the blinds, instead of trying to dictate what this guy does in his own home.

I'd be very surprised if the Police didn't see it that way too.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 27/06/2014 08:55

Yesterday there was a thread about how people misuse 101 for all kinds of non important crap. Now this.

In RL I never come across people who continually phone 101 for EVERYTHING but on here it seems the common advice.

Most times I am like this Shock when I see the words ring 101 as it is clearly not the right answer but some posters first reaction.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 27/06/2014 08:59

here it is

rubadubstylee · 27/06/2014 09:00
Grin

OP, just a thought, if you know he is always on the laptop, does that mean you are always looking at him?

unrealhousewife · 27/06/2014 09:03

Bonne why did the police bother to charge if their only evidence was a picture of dp without his top on?

DottyDooRidesAgain · 27/06/2014 09:06

Thanks No will have a read with a coffee Grin

HappyAgainOneDay · 27/06/2014 09:14

Well, I suppose I ought to admit that I'm upstairs getting ready for bed (or getting up) with nothing on and think Ooh I ought to do so and so downstairs urgently. I go downstairs with nothing on knowing that no one can see me because we have net curtains and the main curtains are closed for the night. My only slight worry is that someone might knock at the door and I have nothing to cover myself with to open it. the answer here is not to open the door but it might be urgent.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 27/06/2014 09:19

Bonnet that sounds terrible, what an ordeal.

I don't think this case is similar though- in your case your husband wasn't even there when the supposed incident took place and certainly the person was lying about what they saw. Rightly they then perjured themselves and the case was thrown out

The Op here isn't thinking of lying or exaggerating or making stuff up. It can be disturbing if you think someone is displaying themselves in an attention-seeking manner and is on a continuum of sex offenses.

I once ran into who I can only assume was the Naked Rambler (I don't think it was though), I was on my own on a footpath with no-one else around in the middle of a field and a naked man walked towards me smirking, wearing only his walking boots. He had his pants in his hand. I did the typical English thing of carrying on as if I hadn't noticed, but the way he was staring at me, the way he didn't get out of the way, some other details I won't go into on a website, all of that made me feel very threatened and sure he was doing this as a flasher, and not just a person who happened to feel happy to be naked. It was also on a path used by uni students and school children. Totally inappropriate and I did report him to the police (we did have a laugh though when they asked me 'do you think you would recognize him again')

OP, I think the guy was simply not paying attention to his surroundings and it doesn't sound pervy to me- if his girlfriend was there and he was just chatting/changing, this is what my husband would do. It's a bit different if he was there alone, trying to attract attention, this had happened a lot. But it hasn't, it's hot weather, and the fact that you also saw people having sex through the same window suggest people don't see they can be observed as much as you think they can.

I wouldn't call the police at all, just close the curtains. Don't you remember 'Ugly Naked Guy' from Friends?!