WIBU to call 101 on my nasty, naked neighbour?

[Pumpkinpositive]

Just that. Is it a police matter?

11:30 pm. Dark outside. Neighbour in flat directly opposite mine, lights on, no curtains in bedroom, wondering back and forward around bedroom bollock naked chatting to girlfriend (clothed).

This is a tenement flat with large, below-the-waist height windows. One cannot be oblivious to the potential of neighbours copping an eyeful.

I don't want to go all Plymouth Brethren on someone if it's just a one off. Should I wait for a repeat performance?

This person is hermetically sealed to his desktop pc 24/7 and I have long harboured suspicions about what he may be watching. The flat also has a history of previous tenants shagging against the selfsame bedroom window at 11am on a weekday morning.

Perfectly prepared to be told I am BU.

Other people's genitals are not a pretty sight.

No ones genitals are a pretty sight. Really, have you every seen a cock and balls and thought, 'how pretty'? Or a fanjo?

The woman next-door has a hideous mural painted on her wall that I can see from my kitchen window. Should I complain to her about it? I am offended every time I see it.

I'm reminded of a Not the 9 O'clock News sketch where a guy was accused of wearing a loud shirt in a built up area and having an offensive wife. Maybe he came from Glasgow?

Giggling like mad at that "fact" about tenements,
Did you know that if you hold a Guinean pig up by the tail it's eyes drop out?

The flats are of such an age that they would have been lit by gas lights originally, which I believe were on the wall rather than hanging from the ceiling.

My neighbour and his teen son sometimes walk into the kitchen of their bungalow naked. It is easy to see them clearly due to the positioning of the properties. Whilst nudity doesn't particularly bother me, there's a time and place for it and if I'm honest I'd prefer to see them clothed.

There's no malice intended by either, just an ignorance that others may not wish to see their naked bodies.

YABVVVU. I walk around naked in my house, sleep naked, and generally like being naked. I don't see why I should close my curtains as our windows are small and can't see through them as we have blinds. DP goes SHUT THE BLINDS, like anyone can see?!?!?
it's not as if he's flashing.

As far as I remember Glasgow tenements have massive windows. A bit like New York Brownstones.

Limitedperiod - with the reassurance of the anonymity of the internet, this is a gratuitous photo of our Christmas tree just to annoy you . This was one of our smaller trees over the years.

AgentProvocateur - come to think of it, the ceiling light in our bedroom when we lived in a tenement was indeed in the window and not centrally located.

Pipbin - I know that the tenements would have been gas lit (and can remember seeing the remains old gas lighting in the close) - but it can't all have been wall mounted. Why would there have been ceiling roses that were centrally placed in living rooms?

Not all bedrooms in tenements were originally meant to be bedrooms. The layout of properties have changed as larger flats have been split into smaller ones. Hence quite a number of tenement bedrooms will have central roses rather than lights placed close to the window.

prettybird nice tree and I like your original shutters

I wish they were shutters . As far as we can make out, they're just panelling - we've looked for signs of hinges and not found any.

We had shutters in our tenement flat though. And our flat was an original "custom built" flat: front (living) room, with bed recess, bedroom, large back room (with bed recess) iwhich became our kitchen dining room with scullery off and a proper, originally built, long narrow bathroom. You can tell it was one of the posher (and later-built) tenements - it was even a wally close (can't quite remember - it might just have been a half-wally close - it's 14 years since we lived there )

We had an English friend come to visit, who, as we walked to the local Oddins, asked, "These flats are fantastic; when were they converted?" . Had to explain to him that they were built that way.

prettybird I fucking hate you and I may track you down. Glasgow, you say? It's a small city.

I've noticed that your tree appears to be on a wooden alcohol half crate. Mine's always on a Glenmorangie one that I won in a raffle. It's six bottles of special edition whisky - 10, 12 and 15 year old and three special flavours. Not stupid flavours, but different wood barrels. It's been untouched for at least 15 years. We don't like whisky.

That doesn't extend to other alcohol

I also notice that you took your English friend to Oddbins. It was an Oddbins raffle, and it was fixed because we were very good friends.

My local Oddbins people have since scattered far and wide. I may use them to trace you and grab your gorgeous flat, or at least gatecrash at New Year.

So, you're going to call the police because a man is naked in his own home? And you are 'suspicious' because he might watch porn (or you know, work) during the day. And his predecessors used to fornicate. You sound a treat to have as a fucking nosey neighbour

Is this a joke? Nrtft btw.

Oooh - dh loves whisky - we could come to some sort of arrangement!

It is indeed a wooden crate (fine wines probably bought from Oddbins ) - we couldn't find a tall enough tree that year that we liked the shape of and of course the tree has to fill the window

We were friends with various Oddbins managers and assistant managers: Woodlands Rd, Victoria Rd, Skirving St, Hope Street, Giffnock.....

We even invited the manager of the Hope St Fine Wine shop to our wedding. Coincidentally, a friend of mine from NZ googled wine shops to find somewhere that could deliver us a bottle of fine wine: she happened on the Hope Street branch and contacted them saying that she wanted a bottle of good NZ wine to be delivered to us. The manager was able to say that not only did he know us, he'd been invited to our wedding although in the event, 'cos it was cup final day and the shop was inundated he wasn't able to come to the evening do!

Glasgow is indeed a very small place

What is a wally close?

(is that the people opposite.....?)

Glasgow is indeed a very small place

And London is a big place, but the Oddbins mafia and the essential niceness of people anywhere transcends petty British rivalries.

Your experience is so similar to mine. We've been to loads of lock-ins, a couple of Oddbins weddings and loads of leaving dos from staff at my local branch who then spread like wine-knowledgeable viruses to other Oddbins or to other wine/catering jobs in Britain or abroad.

Obviously lots of them are forrin too.

We draw the line at a big wine tasting event in west London because we would be legless before 4pm. The staff at my local branch say that would be fine, but I like to maintain a sense of decorum.

I love Oddbins. Well, not exactly the company but the people who work there who are fabulous.

What was the OP about?

A wally close is a tiled close. Iirc, ours wasn't tile beyond the lower part of the close.

Someone I worked with was prosecuted for this but after a lengthy crown court trial was found not guilty. Can't remember the exact offence, something like public indeceny.

He was naked in his own living room. Well actually he had an unfastened dressing gown on. Open curtains, seen by local kids.

Trial reported in great length in local paper and a lot of people saying he'd done it on purpose for a kick. No idea if he had or not but the police certainly took it seriously.

My mam has a naked heavy metal head banger opposite her, she shuts her blinds!

I used to drink in a pub, really rowdy and busy, the pool tables were upstairs, and this couple used to shag against their window opposite?!

Very strange, but you can choose to not look!

So no, don't call the police just yet!

Thanks Prettybird. But I am going to show my ignorance of Scottish architecture but what is a close on this context?

A close is the communal area, including the stairs.

A close (pronounced to rhyme with "clothes" but with a soft "s" "closs") is the corridor and strairs that runs from the entrance up to all the flats. There will be usually be one, two or three flats on each landing.

A close (outwith --another good Scottish word== ) a tenement can also mean an alleyway.

A close in a tenement still counts as a public space.

So, traditional tenements have a front door onto the street (usually with buzzer entry now) a back door onto the communal drying green, and a storage cupboard under the stair that usually belongs to one owner - it probably was the original close WC.

Then there's usually a window with stained glass at every half landing, and two or three flats on each landing.

The close is the communal areas then?

I'd love to visit a nice tenement, who can I come and stay with and look at penises across the street?

Got it!

Don't live in a tenement anymore myself - and with the trees in full leaf, can't easily see in to the houses opposite or rather, hopefully they can't see into our rooms so no penises on show.

I could have a word with my friend who can watch the 11am sex