to think that identical twin children should not be dressed the same?

[nutdust]

so, declaring my interest, i have identical twins and absolutely never dress them the same, for lots of reasons but mainly to help others identify who is who & to foster their individuality.
i'm not, & have never been in two minds about this decision, so the reason i'm posting is because i'm really curious to find out what others think when they see identical twins dressed exactly the same, because it makes me immediately want to tap the parents on the shoulder & ask them why on earth they are doing this, i.e. further emphasising their sameness & making them look like a cutesy side-show. there are long-term studies that evidence the unhelpful impact this has on the twin children. that trouble is, the twin parent community is a very polite one & there is never an opportunity to just ask; 'so why the hell do you dress your kids to look exactly the same?!'
so, what do you think? does it not even register or do you feel agrieved on behalf of the twins?

Hi
thank goodness someone shares my view point
I have seven year old identical twins, they don't
dress the same, have different haircuts and are their own people

They are individuals and not a circus act (referring to my children ONLY- disclaimer- don't want to upset anyone's feelings) personally for mine [each to their own, live & let live, etc] I really wouldn't like it at ALL.

My girls personalities dictate what they wear, one is a diva and one is tomboy... I love the quirkiness of the whole twin/multiple experience...

Seems a bit of a minefield whatever you do tbh.

With young children, before they have developed their own tastes, you are projecting your own tastes onto them with what you choose to dress them in anyway, so they will probably be in the same style, even if not exactly the same outfit.

I think if you start getting hung up on it, you can wind yourself up into it getting into a big issue - do you start worrying that you are projecting one as the "sporty" one, the "girly" one, the "tomboy" one etc when you consciously try to dress them really individually?

It's different when they can choose for themselves and are able to express their own personality; before that, the only personality they can express is that of the person who chose their outfits. And if they aren't old enough to choose their own outfit, they surely aren't old enough to notice what they and their sibling are wearing, and therefore for it to have any impact on them at all.

Forcing children to wear specific outfits when they're old enough to choose their own is unnecessary and and a bit controlling imo, regardless of whether they are twins or not. Everyone deserves a bit of autonomy over the clothes they wear.

If the kids choose it then fair do's
I would never tell my girls they cannot dress the same
mine just wanted different haircuts because they were sick of people
not knowing who is who
We used different nail varnish, hair clips, one school jumper, one in a cardigan, different shoes and coats... and still they got mixed up..

Mine WAS a special pregnancy, they told me at 16 weeks there was a good chance I could lose them both...no more special than a singleton at risk, but special as in a 1/232 ratio [quoted from consultant for mono-zygotic diambiotic twins] but I don't think I am special for being a twin mum ....

And actually mine do have a special bond, they finish each other's sentences and change roles when playing without using words they
just look at each other, the youngest has always cuddled up to the oldest.... but that could be a special sibling bond, or it could be because you have to be a twin to understand????

mine are self prescribed "diva" and "tomboy" lol ....
they decided that alone :)

DS1 is at university and there is a set of identical triplets on his course who dress identically.
That is why promoting individuality and independence is important.

Mrs err I'm getting it from those who buy the identical clothes their children then allegedly choose to wear all by themselves and from these on thus thread who say they dressed them the same when little as they looked cute and apparently needed to.

And I can be as judgy as I like thanks.

I think it's as unpleasant as pierced ears on babies.

Not going to pretend otherwise,op asked for an opinion I gave it.You can do what you like but people are allowed to judge and will.

Mine were mono/mono twins. It was quite a worrying time thigh we only found out it was twins at 20 weeks.

Well said, Kika

Thigh . Though is what I meant. Silly phone

Not sure what all the fuss is about, it's simples: I have id boys who are six. Since they were babies I've dressed them in similar clothes but different colours. This was a lot of fun and also alowed everyone to tell them apart. It also avoided arguments as they had the same thing (jacket for instance) so one wasn't 'better' than the other.

Since they were about two though, they have allocated a colour scheme to themselves - as someone up thread mentioned (do I know you?) - so one always always has green or blue, and one has red, purple, pink. No arguments on the clothes front ( plenty elsewhere!)

I know a set of twins who are always dressed identically. They also have the same hairstyle and similar names. One of my DC is good friends with them but still has to ask which one is which. I do think it's a bit odd, it's almost as if they are interchangeable.

Why is twins dressing in same, or similar outfits, as bad as pierced ears on babies, retro?

Do tell as I can't make the connection

My nieces are identical twin babies. SIL says she dresses them in anything she has clean, doesn't bother about whether they match or not.
Maybe when they're older and less hard work, she'll think about it. Right now, the poor woman is in survival mode :)

Broom chavness aside both are a fashion statement for the mother,by the mother,to please the mother and utterly unnecessary.

Funny you seem to like posting on MN and aibu the home of irrelevant crap and high horses.

Ooooo I can shout too.

YOU BUY THE CLOTHES

If they were encouraged to be individuals from the start they wouldn't choose to dress the same later.

None of the twins I know(and I know a lot) ever choose to dress the same as a)they never have and b) their mums don't have indentikit outfits in the house.

We all judge mums that do,sorry you don't like but it's a free country.

Actually regardless of whether parents did dress them the same or not, the fact remains that it's the children who choose NOW.
Mine started choosing on their own without ever knowing they'd worn the occasional same outfit, and I do mean occasional. I had one babygrow from my cousin each that were my favourite, and one romper suit I thought was adorable, Other than that anything that was matching was only worn when we went to see the person who had bought it, as they like to see the kids in the clothes they bought.
Just going through photos now (that the boys have never seen bar one)
I can count on one hand in the first two years they have worn the same clothes.
I guess there were times that haven't been photographed, so let's say 10 times at the very most, 10 out of 730 days isn't much is it? Certainly not enough to make a lasting impression.

I'm proud mind would never in a million years choose to wear the same outfit not NOW or in the past,they'd rather eat their own hair.My work is done.