to think that identical twin children should not be dressed the same?

[nutdust]

so, declaring my interest, i have identical twins and absolutely never dress them the same, for lots of reasons but mainly to help others identify who is who & to foster their individuality.
i'm not, & have never been in two minds about this decision, so the reason i'm posting is because i'm really curious to find out what others think when they see identical twins dressed exactly the same, because it makes me immediately want to tap the parents on the shoulder & ask them why on earth they are doing this, i.e. further emphasising their sameness & making them look like a cutesy side-show. there are long-term studies that evidence the unhelpful impact this has on the twin children. that trouble is, the twin parent community is a very polite one & there is never an opportunity to just ask; 'so why the hell do you dress your kids to look exactly the same?!'
so, what do you think? does it not even register or do you feel agrieved on behalf of the twins?

[DroppingIn]

My twin boys look totally different, one has always been a head taller than the other as well. The smaller one (well not so small at 5ft 7in at 12 years old) also wears glasses and has done since he was 4.

I admit to purposefully dressing them the same so people would perhaps recognize that they were twins so they would understand why I looked like a nervous wreck most of the time and not think that I was crazy enough to have chosen to have two close together that I obviously could not handle!

[goofygoober]

Still baffled so because they have identical faces, you should encourage them to dress differently. Bullshit. You're saying they shouldn't be allowed to look the same? Why? The clothes don't stop their different personalities.

If they want to dress in the same clothes, let them, if they want to dress completely differently, let them. Just because you are their parents and they are identical, why can't they bloody say what they want to do? My mother did the right thing with us, never discouraged us against wanting to look the same - I never stopped my boys doing it either.

We've got 2 old ladies in our town who dress the same, they probably live together and do everything together too. If that's how they chose to live, who cares?

[wonderingsoul]

I don't get it.. Purely because surely you'd have more clothes to share...

I'm the same with presents though.. With some exceptions like teddy's etc

[NinjaLeprechaun]

Refusing to let your children dress alike ever just because they're twins, even if they want to, is every bit as precious as insisting that they do dress alike just because they're twins.

I'm not sure about colour coding them either. I know adult twins who hate and refuse to wear a particular colour, ever, because they had no choice about it as a child.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Chaviness aside, both are a fashion statement for the mother, by the mother, to please the mother and are completely unneccessary
This doesn't really make sense as a criticism.
How the bejesus is one supposed to dress their DCs? Ought we to leave them nekkid until they can articulate a preference for their own clothes?
The clothes that babies (assuming someone has the money to make a choice) wear are always subject to the choice of the adult.

[broomseed]

"Refusing to let your children dress alike ever just because they're twins, even if they want to, is every bit as precious as insisting that they do dress alike just because they're twins."

This sums it up perfectly for me.
Denying choice, some even after they've reached an age they would usually have a say in what they wish to wear or be allowed to express an opinion, or even purchase their own clothes. I think that is most damaging, and even controlling.

Plus, you can still express individuality whilst wearing the same clothes. Think of school uniforms, and club uniforms of scouts, guides, ballet, sporting clubs etc, which your child will spend a good deal of their childhood wearing.

[broomseed]

I too know of two elderly ladies, id twins who dress exactly the same. They're quite famous locally (one of the regular posters on Mumsnet, from my area, started a thread about them a while ago). One of the locals told us that they were never allowed to dress the same when younger. I do wonder if that may have had an influence.

[bonkersLFDT20]

I guess I would want my ID twins to want to dress in a way that enabled people to tell them apart ie that they felt it important to be known as individual people rather than accept that they were ID and as a result most people would not know who was who.

That's not to say I would not cherish the fact they were pretty miraculous and recognise that people are naturally intrigued.

[missymarmite]

YABU. I wouldn't choose to dress my kids the same either, but it's up to the parents and it's hardly going to do any harm to young children. I'd be a bit more with older kids but there are worse things parents could inflict on children than dodgy clothes.