to wibu to ask the doctor to give me something?

[extremepie]

Bf and I broke up yesterday as I found out he had cheated on me :(

Feel like my heart has been ripped out and emotionally I am a wreck, crying most of the day etc.

At the moment though what is really affecting me is the physical things, I feel so sick, like a have a lead weight in my stomach which is making me not eat, which is making me feel more sick etc. In the last 24 hours I have had about 10 spoonfuls of soup and half a yogurt, I honestly could not force down any more than that, tried to eat a banana took one bite and almost threw up!

My whole body is shaking, especially my hands, probably from the hunger and my chest aches like I've been punched. Have extremely bad headaches from all the crying and I got about 3 hours sleep last night!

Now I know that the only thing that can really heal me is time and I just have to wait for it to pass so to speak but can I ask the doctor to give me anything to help with the physical stuff in the meantime? I was planning to see the doctor anyway to get a check up for sti's etc so thought maybe I should ask while I was there?

Honestly feel like I wouldn't feel quite so shitty if I could get some rest but at the moment I cant :(Part of the reason I couldn't sleep last night was because my stomach hurt so much :(

I don't want to take anti-depressants because I know this is only temporary and it will pass but if I asked for sleeping tablets or something to help the nausea would they give it to me? I know there's no pill for a broken heart sadly but I'm worried I won't be able to look after the kids for long in the state I'm in I can hardly stand up straight :(

Oh stone give it a rest! why are you so bloody keen for OP to take drugs?
With every post you write you make them seem like some sort of miracle cure a 'must have' for heartbreak its fucking ridiculous.

Extreme

How are you feeling today? Did the nytol help you to get some rest last night?

I'm glad you got some rest, have you eaten yet this morning? if not you should make yourself a slice or two of toast.

I know it hurts, trust me i have been where you are. But sleeping the day away will not do you any good, those feelings will still be there when you wake up, you have to learn to deal with them properly (in other words let time do its thing) Don't let this dickhead effect your life like this! You deserve better than that. You have had a lucky escape so just focus on the positives. You will get there in the end.

Just wanted to say I hope you managed to get some sleep last night OP and that I wish you all the best in dealing with this horrible situation.

Also to say I agree 110% with macdoodle and jolly. While it is absolutely true that there serious issues with the organisation and management in many areas of the
NHS, a not insignificant part of the problems it faces are due to misuse/abuse of the system by increasing numbers of people. This could range from calling an ambulance/heading to A&E or GP for inappropriate things (as mac described above), failing to attend appointments and then expecting to be re-referred or rebooked, not taking medical advice relating to healthy lifestyle, medication etc and then repeatedly seeking further intervention for the problem. And then wondering why they have to wait ages to see any healthcare professional or get scans/treatment.

The NHS is far from perfect, nor are the staff working in it. But as its users, we have a responsibility to use it with respect or we will be at least partially responsible for its demise. OP, in no way is any of that aimed at you, given how you are feeling, your question was more than justified. Your plan of trying over the counter remedies for a bit and seeing how you go over the next few days/weeks sounds like the sensible way to go and I really hope you feel better soon

People always tell you the nice guys finish last and at the moment it feels like they are right - he's the one who did the wrong yet I am the one sitting here suffering while he is happy and having a nice life :(

Doesn't make any sense :(

I know deep down that what everyone is saying is right I just need some time for my heart to catch up with my head :(

Macdoodle I think you are talking a lot of sense but a mental health nurse I don't think its fair blaming pyschiatrists for being inaccessible I realise mental health service I being squeezed 150 bed s they want to cut in the inpatient mental health department I work in but I blame the managers for putting money before patients and blaming everybody but themselves when things go wrong anyway that's an aside I think its very unlikely a gp would prescribe benzos in this situation .Op if your boyfriend dumped you because you have a disabled child he is not much of a partner is he ? I hope you are feeling better soon though and be kind to yourself.

Oh there is plenty of time left in his life to suffer don't you worry about that op

Is there anything you can do to take your mind off things? You said your home just reminds you of him, perhaps you could have a bit of a sort out and rearrange the place?

or is there a project you have started but never got round to finishing?

I only had a pop at the psychiatrist after she had a pop at me, stones and glass houses came to mind......and I suspect she know nothibg about general practice. We are all stretched and it would be nice if we could all acknowledge that.

Unfortunately in this situation, it's always the same.
We are the ones left to pick up the pieces while the cheating lying scumbag goes off and leaves us to it.
That's life and it's not fair.
But you will realise that you can and will move on.
You did from your last relationship and you will from this one.
I hope the crime scene people get there soon so you can go out and get some fresh air.

As a PP said - can you rearrange things. Have a good clear out.
Has he moved all his stuff out?
If not, then bagging that up and putting it outside can be theraputic.
Try to eat something. And keep yourself hydrated.

Yes of course we are all stretched I agree, personally I don't think there will be a NHS in a few years much sooner than anyone realises just my opinion !

I am sorry you are hurting OP.

In the new year my DP and I broke up. It was very sudden and I was completely devastated. There were a lot of other things going on in my life , I had had cancer scares and pneumonia twice as well as a horrendous amount of stress working full time and trying to raise four dc.

Subsequently I finally broke and had a complete breakdown. I couldn't feel any emotion and became really really unwell. In the end I had a crisis team and whilst as said there were other factors , they also believed that I was grieving for my relationship.

What I am trying to say is that noone can tell you what you should an shouldn't feel and sometimes our reactions to things are blown out of proportion because something is the last straw rather than that by itself.

If you feel you need help then yes see a gp. No matter what happens things will get better but there is nothing to lose in talking it over with a gp and letting them help decide if treatment is needed.

I am incredibly grateful that my crisis team never put me down or wrote me off because I had a relationship break up. They saw it went deeper than that and after my breakdown I am stronger than I ever was.

Hugs to you. I hate thinking of anyone in such emotional pain.

For those that may be interested my own diagnosis was acute reaction disorder. An abnormal reaction to a stressful event. It can and does happen and thankfully I had help instead of being belittled which some posters do seem to be doing to the OP.

Also about a week after the breakup I went to my gp. Told him how scared I had become. That I had stopped caring for myself. That I couldn't feel any emotion or focus on anything. That the world seemed unreal and things didn't seem right.

He dismissed me. Said it sounded like I was coping okay.

The following week I went to see him again. I was having panic attacks in my sleep. Panic attacks when I was awake. Sat cuddling a teddy bear all day long. Still fine.

The following week I went back again. Told him that when I looked at my children I felt nothing. If I imagined anything bad happening to them. I felt nothing. And that if he didn't help me I would make the terror stop by taking my own life because I couldn't stand the pain anymore. Finally he listened. Gave me an anxiety test and I scored the highest possible mark. I had a crisis team within an hour. The next few weeks were hell. I developed psychotic thoughts.

Some people wouldn't have gone back to the gp after being dismissed the first time. Some people wouldn't even see a gp. I probably wouldn't have if it was me that posted this and received such replies that made me feel I was over reacting.

I hand on heart believe I would be dead if I hadn't have got help that third time. The torment I was in I needed it to stop.

Having been through mental health hell I will never ever belittle someone that posts like this. Some people can cope with loads. Some have coped with loads and the tiniest thing breaks them. And some have never learned how to cope.

A bit of kindness and gentle constructive criticism can go a long way when someone is distressed.

It sounds awful but there are moments I look at the kids and think 'if it wasn't for you he would still be here' which I'm sure isn't even true and I hate myself for even thinking it because despite how hurt I am I know that any man who would make me choose him over my kids is a scumbag who is no good for me but it just hurts so much :(

I love my kids so much and I wouldn't give them up for anyone!

I'm being as normal with them as I possibly can, still doing everything I have to do to care for them,my heart just isnt in anything I'm doing at the moment :(

It sounds awful but there are moments I look at the kids and think 'if it wasn't for you he would still be here' which I'm sure isn't even true and I hate myself for even thinking it

You need to hate him for (possibly) thinking it. It makes him a prize cunt, and really someone you don't want to be in a relationship with.

so much dramatics on this thread I almost feel like I'm back in high school, do people really never grow up?

I know maid :) I'm sure that in time my sadness will be replaced my anger and I will feel ridiculous for even being upset in the first place!

But I'm not there yet :/

I just hope it happens sooner rather than later!

Btw I am not a psychiatrist, I said I had worked in psychiatry. I have also had a reasonable amount of experience in general practice as it goes.

I had a pop at you as you had a pop at the op and frankly as a hcp you should know better than to moan about time wasting patients on a public forum. You are not representing general practice very well with your attitude. Yes we all get fucked off with our jobs at times, but this is not the place.

The fact is GPs are supposed to be able to sympathetically and effectively manage and treat minor to moderate mental health and social difficulties themselves in the community (such as those being described by the op) so perhaps it's not the psychiatrists you should be moaning about.

Who else should the GP turn to? The psychiatrists are busy looking after people with psychotic and long term mental illness, the OP is suffering acute emotional distress from a significant life event, on top of other stressors and social and family difficulties so in this case the GP is exactly the person she should be going to see for help, even if they then signpost her somewhere else.

So HCPs aren't allowed to moan about time-wasters anonymously?

Where is that written?

OP glad you're getting some rest. Please don't feel like that about your kids: this man is a scumbag. He would probably have done a legger even if they had been his kids, let alone if they hadn't been there. Some men are just arseholes and it's hard to accept that when you love them.

celestria that was a really moving post about your experiences. I identify and I'm glad you got the help you needed. I also think you express very eloquently the fact that different people cope with different things. The pain we end up experiencing can end up being more than the sum of it's parts if it is the culmination of years of pain.

macdoodle with all due respect, and without wishing to be rude, you need to give it a rest. Go and treat some women with breast lumps and men with prostate troubles- your patients who you think are justified in coming to see you- and leave OP alone.

The majority of these posts are not directed towards the OP. They are directed at the people who think the only possible way to get over a very recent breakup is by taking Valium and are advising the OP to ask her doctor for them.

If the pro-benzo brigade hadn't turned up i imagine the responses on this thread would have been very different.

I think you do need to see a GP extremepie. Not for medicinal reasons but to refer you for some help and support because judging by your last post, as well as the other difficulties you've been experiencing, you really need some help to focus your mind on weeding out the chancers and the deadbeats in your life instead of even thinking for a second that if your kids weren't there, your xp would still be with you.
Just the fact that you are having those thoughts suggests to me that you desperately need help and support ASAP.
If you don't get that help and support, I don't think it will be too long before you're involved with another rubbish man. You really need to work on your own self worth and self esteem and I think you need help with that tbh.

OP you need to think differently.

Your ex was a twat of the highest order, and you have just been released. You are worth far more as a person than being with someone like him. I'm sure at the beginning it was great, but he's revealed his true colours. I have no doubt that a few months or years down the line he will do the same to the 17 year old.

As someone said upthread, do not under any circumstances take this man back if he comes if he tries to return. The best way to cure short term depression is get up and exercise. I know this is the last thing you want to do, but it's tried and tested.

So get your makeup on, get dressed and get out of the house. Go to the park, walk for at least 40 minutes. If possible try to get out of breath (not sure how old your dc are). Exercise will give you natural anti depressants, appetite and help you sleep. I hate exercise, I'm no fitness guru.

If all of these things don't work and you are still feeling desperate next week, then seek medical advice. But from your recent posts, I think you are healing already.

extreme I would recommend that you get a bag of nuts and dried fruits to pick at through the day and some fresh fruit juice to sip on. It may be too soon to bare to touch his stuff at the moment, so do it in little stages.

It does get better, but it won't happen over night. If you need to cry then have a good cry. And do speak to your GP for some more support.

There are some fantastic family workers out there who can help set you up with schemes like 'Big Siblings', who can take your children out for an hour or two every week - to the park, or take them out for hot chocolate and cake or take them to youth groups for you. This gives you some down time and the children another source of support (in the form of an older sibling - just as the name of scheme suggests). There are many other types of support available also. A family worker can walk you through your needs at the moment and put stuff in place to help you not feel so alone.

stonetheflamingcrows, that was disingenious then wasnt it, what exactly are you then? are you a medic, what speciality, most of us/GP's will have "worked in psychiatry" at some stage in our training (I did a year). I really dont care about "the public face of GP" or portraying it well. Its well time now that people started to realise the NHS and GP in particular is in crisis.

God this thread is horrible.

No the OP shouldn't go to the gp on the information given in her first post, however, the comments have revealed a real problem with the way some gps relate to patients. It's this attitude that stopped me being diagnosed with an awful genetic condition.

The dismissive, oh you're whining, a time waster, don't bother us attitude meant that I didn't get treated, and am now severely disabled, permanently, and will only get worse. It was this attitude that killed my sister. For twenty years she was dissmissed and belittled by the family gp. Sje suffered appallingly and he denied her care. She could gabe lived longer. But he had decreed that she wasnt to be listened to.

The money spent on the repeated emergencies, the icu, and care costs, is now i would suspect is huge. I can't imagine why you are so sure that having this attitude is in any way helping.

I am terrified of going to any gp now, and they are happy to prescribe multiple controlled drugs on constant repeat prescription without any supervision because they can't be arsed to actually monitor and help my condition. I know it's wrong but I'm too scared to go and face the contempt and can't be bothered attitude. I'm sure there are good gps out there somewhere, but after my and my poor dead sisters experiences, the destructive power of the 4 gps (across 35 years) far outweighs that for me personally.

But I guess we are both collateral damage in your patient blaming 'judge before hearing' attitude.