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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wibu to ask the doctor to give me something?

274 replies

extremepie · 26/06/2014 08:14

Bf and I broke up yesterday as I found out he had cheated on me :(

Feel like my heart has been ripped out and emotionally I am a wreck, crying most of the day etc.

At the moment though what is really affecting me is the physical things, I feel so sick, like a have a lead weight in my stomach which is making me not eat, which is making me feel more sick etc. In the last 24 hours I have had about 10 spoonfuls of soup and half a yogurt, I honestly could not force down any more than that, tried to eat a banana took one bite and almost threw up!

My whole body is shaking, especially my hands, probably from the hunger and my chest aches like I've been punched. Have extremely bad headaches from all the crying and I got about 3 hours sleep last night!

Now I know that the only thing that can really heal me is time and I just have to wait for it to pass so to speak but can I ask the doctor to give me anything to help with the physical stuff in the meantime? I was planning to see the doctor anyway to get a check up for sti's etc so thought maybe I should ask while I was there?

Honestly feel like I wouldn't feel quite so shitty if I could get some rest but at the moment I cant :(Part of the reason I couldn't sleep last night was because my stomach hurt so much :(

I don't want to take anti-depressants because I know this is only temporary and it will pass but if I asked for sleeping tablets or something to help the nausea would they give it to me? I know there's no pill for a broken heart sadly but I'm worried I won't be able to look after the kids for long in the state I'm in I can hardly stand up straight :(

OP posts:
kalidanger · 26/06/2014 16:49

There is a pill for a broken heart - valium. Ask the quack for 2mg (weakest) tamazepam. Take it carefully - it can be a very blunt instrument and turn one into a lump but it will stop you crying and feeling physical pain. You must force yourself to eat, OP Thanks

Don't misunderstand me, I am not exactly recommendingthis, but I'm surprised no one else has Hmm

KirjavaTheCat · 26/06/2014 16:55

Have you anyone around? If you're feeling so washed out and sad, do you think it would be a good idea to have someone there for the kids? I'm sorry, but it can't be nice for them to see their mum like this.

If you don't feel able to get it together I think it would be a good idea. I really don't mean to sound harsh.

hellsbellsmelons · 26/06/2014 17:02

Oh bless you.

Soooo many of us have been where you are.
And we know pretty much what you are going through.

The non stop tears. The hysterical sobs. The pain throughout your whole body. The sick feeling. Headaches.

What you need is some tender loving care.
Do you have some RL support?
Family, friends?
Get them to rally round and help support you through this.
I know from bitter experience that keeping this to yourself just doubles all the pain.

You will burst into tears as the most unexpected things and it will go on for quite a while.

For me, it was orange juice ice lollies and sugary tea that got me through. And banana's but that's not working for you.
I'm glad to see in your update that you have now eaten something.
Don't be surprised if you are sick though.

But it's amazing what the body can cope with.

The adrenalin helps you through the first bit. But when that goes you need to be ready for more pain and then anger.

I didn't sleep properly for months. It was month 3 or 4 before I went to the GP for sleeping tablets. They worked a treat to get my body clock back to where it should be. But that's a way off for you yet.

You don't really understand when someone tells you they have a broken heart, until it actually happens to you.
It's the worst kind of pain and it feels like it is never ending.
But it is. And you will improve. And the tears will stop sometimes. And you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. And you will move on. And you will have a happy life.
It won't feel like it now, or tomorrow, or next week or next month.
But take it from all of us who have been there. That you do get through it.

Thanks for you. and of course some sugary Brew

MaidOfStars · 26/06/2014 17:24

How long were you together? Some of your previous posts suggest only a month or two. That's not to say it doesn't hurt, but is it worth making yourself ill for?

kalidanger · 26/06/2014 17:40

A couple of months?!

WitchWay · 26/06/2014 17:40

kalidanger Valium is diazepam not temazepam. Yes it can calm you down & help you sleep but it will not mend a broken heart - time will do that.

No self-respecting GP would prescribe it in these circumstances as it is rapidly addictive, even at the lowest 2mg dose.

Sedating antihistamines can help with disturbed sleep - the sort of thing you might take for sea-sickness or itching.

Bluetroublethree · 26/06/2014 17:43

See the doctor, don't soldier on. A short course of diazepam or similar can really help. This will pass darling x x x

x2boys · 26/06/2014 18:24

I,m not sure any doctor would Prescribe diazepam as they are addictive at most they may give you a short course of sleeping tablets maybe 4\5 days just to get you into a regular sleep pattern but it would depend very much on your gp the sickness is anxiety and its horrible and they may prescribe antidepressants to help with this but they will takes few weeks to kick in go and see your to anyway if you work I,m sure they would sign you off for a few weeks .

cardibach · 26/06/2014 18:40

I think if you had been feeling like this for a week then pills might help. It is only 24 hours, though. One day of crying and not eating in these circumstances is...well, not normal, but within the range of behaviours people typically feel. Eat little and often, get a friend round to rant at, Have some wine (I know - don't drink when you need it, but it does aid sleep, and in the presence of a friend...) then think about the positives of moving on. I don't mean to be harsh, but this is just life.

macdoodle · 26/06/2014 19:06

Is this thread a joke, I am a GP and am disgusted that anyone thinks this warrants a doctor's appt and strong dangerous drugs. You do know we see sick people.

WhitesandsofLuskentyre · 26/06/2014 19:11

I took herbal tablets containing valerian. They don't drug you so much as calm your brain down so it quietens enough for you to get some sleep. Some days I needed them, some days I didn't. They aren't addictive and don't leave you feeling hungover.

Down the line a bit a doctor may give you anti depressants if you still aren't coping. I was offered them but turned them down.

But I talked and cried in my doctor's office because I knew she would at least have seen infidelity and broken marriages involving children - none of my friends had, and were powerless to help in the early days (stars later on though).

Pootlingalong · 26/06/2014 19:30

To answer your question, yes YABU to ask a doctor for sleeping tablets

NorksEnormous · 26/06/2014 19:36

YABU to ask the doctor for something- you are not ill

kalidanger · 26/06/2014 19:52

YANBU to go to the GP if you can't cope Hmm

Are mental health issues not illness now?

macdoodle · 26/06/2014 19:59

Ummm one day distress after a horrible break is NOT an illness no. This country has become entirely acopic wanting a quick fix for every single thing. This is ridiculous.

macdoodle · 26/06/2014 20:00

And labelling it a mental illness is very very disrespectful and dismissive of those with genuine mental illnesses. Advising treatment with addictive drugs is foolhardy and naming them as you have smacks of an addict to me.

macdoodle · 26/06/2014 20:02

it's absurd that not coping is reason to see a doctor, WTF do you think we do? Friends, Samaritans, women'said whatever, but it is nonsense like this that isdestroying the nhs and why people cannot get aappointments.

jacks365 · 26/06/2014 20:03

You need to go talk to your doctor about everything, I suspect this issue is just the straw. You are dealing with school issues for a dc with sn, you are stuck in inadequate housing, you are dealing with legal things too. You need help and support so go ask for it.

fluffymouse · 26/06/2014 20:05

I agree that this isn't a medical problem. Do you have any good friends? They could offer so much more support than your gp in this situation.

Otherwise I suggest girlie films and hot baths.

orangefusion · 26/06/2014 20:14

Diazepam was my little helper when this happened to me. I got twenty and it helped. Also got sleepers (zopiclone) when I was still crying a month later.
And then SSRIs after three months and still crying.

After a month on the SSRI I took myself off them, I was grieving not depressed. The diazepam was essential for me to get through the day at the start. Ask your doctor, cry if you need to. She wont give you enough to get addicted so ignore the cries of "its addictive". And get some rest and regroup yourself.

Good luck

Redglitter · 26/06/2014 20:16

seeking medical attention less than 24 hours after breaking up with someone you've been seeing for a few months?
imo YBVU

If he's cheating this early in the relationship it sounds like you had a lucky escape

kalidanger · 26/06/2014 20:17

Nice bedside manner mcdoodle Hmm

macdoodle · 26/06/2014 20:18

Wouldn't get diazepam off me that's for sure .

shouldnthavesaid · 26/06/2014 20:19

Diazepam? For a break up?! I'd be very, very shocked if any GP would honestly chuck highly addictive drugs at someone for a break up!

gotnotimeforthat · 26/06/2014 20:23

kali

Being upset about a break up that happened YESTERDAY does not ring alarm bells for MH issues.

There is a pill for a broken heart - valium. I urge you stop giving such bad advice to vulnerable people.

OP what you are feeling is normal for a lot of women, i for one have never met a woman who hasn't felt this way so soon after a break up. I was a blubbering mess for weeks during one of mine. Get your friends round and let your hair down and forget about that asshole, he's not worth your tears and he certainly isn't worth loosing any sleep over. Things will look slightly better tomorrow.