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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wibu to ask the doctor to give me something?

274 replies

extremepie · 26/06/2014 08:14

Bf and I broke up yesterday as I found out he had cheated on me :(

Feel like my heart has been ripped out and emotionally I am a wreck, crying most of the day etc.

At the moment though what is really affecting me is the physical things, I feel so sick, like a have a lead weight in my stomach which is making me not eat, which is making me feel more sick etc. In the last 24 hours I have had about 10 spoonfuls of soup and half a yogurt, I honestly could not force down any more than that, tried to eat a banana took one bite and almost threw up!

My whole body is shaking, especially my hands, probably from the hunger and my chest aches like I've been punched. Have extremely bad headaches from all the crying and I got about 3 hours sleep last night!

Now I know that the only thing that can really heal me is time and I just have to wait for it to pass so to speak but can I ask the doctor to give me anything to help with the physical stuff in the meantime? I was planning to see the doctor anyway to get a check up for sti's etc so thought maybe I should ask while I was there?

Honestly feel like I wouldn't feel quite so shitty if I could get some rest but at the moment I cant :(Part of the reason I couldn't sleep last night was because my stomach hurt so much :(

I don't want to take anti-depressants because I know this is only temporary and it will pass but if I asked for sleeping tablets or something to help the nausea would they give it to me? I know there's no pill for a broken heart sadly but I'm worried I won't be able to look after the kids for long in the state I'm in I can hardly stand up straight :(

OP posts:
StoneTheFlamingCrows · 26/06/2014 21:37

This thread is horrible. Give the poor woman a break.

I am a doctor, not a GP, but have worked in psychiatry and there is nothing wrong with prescribing benzodiazepines or hypnotics in acute distress in the very short term. The op is clearly distressed, those of you suggesting TLC, why don't you display some compassion yourselves?

I would be vey surprised and disappointed ifmacdoodle is a GP, she sounds more like a misinformed daily mail reader to me.

MorrisZapp · 26/06/2014 21:38

Marzipan :)

StoneTheFlamingCrows · 26/06/2014 21:40

Some people don't have the option of friends, family and TLC. The gp may be their only line of support. Any GP who doesn't believe it's their job to offer support for social as well as health issues is in the wrong job.

Go to see your GP op. Hopefully (almost certainly) they will be more sympathetic than mac doodle.

PacificDogwood · 26/06/2014 21:41

I have (deliberately) not read the whole thread.

Of course what you are feeling is 'normal', extremepie, just like the pain of a broken leg is 'normal', but that does not mean that you cannot expect a bit of 'pain relief'.

Go see your GP - I hope you have a good relationship with them.
They are of course able to prescribe something for you in the short-term to take the edge of your pain and allow you to function.
If you are not asthmatic a medication called Propranolol might be an option to help with the physical symptoms of anxiety.

I hope you feel better v soon Thanks

Pootlingalong · 26/06/2014 21:41

Well said macdoodle. OP, my advice would be to post in relationships rather than AIBU and use mumsnet for support rather than trying to get medication to numb it all. Agree with other posters that when you feel like this the best remedy is RL friends and family.

Pumpkinpositive · 26/06/2014 21:45

The bereaved are offered short term help.

That's cos they are bereaved, not chucked.

MrsLindor · 26/06/2014 21:46

I think macdoodle sounds like most gps i know struggling to keep the nhs afloat amindst increasing patient demands,some reasonable some not and a challenging financial situation in terms of nhs and primary care budgets.

Chippednailvarnish · 26/06/2014 21:47

I'd like to see the NHS used by sick people (be that physical or mental illness).

Being cheated on isn't an illness, it's shit yes but definitely not an illness.

parallax80 · 26/06/2014 21:48

See Stone I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with seeing a GP in this kind of situation. I also don't think it's as simple as being either 'pro-benzo' or 'lacking in compassion'.

I would like to think a good GP would look at the pros and cons and availability of other support, other drugs (eg non benzo hypnotics), risks of self harm, risks of paradoxical agitation on initiation (especially if someone in sole charge of children) and try to work out the best plan for this vulnerable patient. Which may or may not be benzos.

PacificDogwood · 26/06/2014 21:52

Good grief, parallax, you are not actually posting a reasoned statement here, are you? WinkThanks

None of us know what might be appropriate for the OP, but it would certainly NBU to see her GP about how she is feeling. It's about one third of what we do btw.

gotnotimeforthat · 26/06/2014 21:54

Surely people realize that feeling this way so soon after a break up is normal right? If she was feeling this way months afterwards then i would understand but 24 hours? c'mon! condoning wanting medication that soon after is just ridiculous and i would question any medical professional that would even think about prescribing them under these circumstances ( i'm looking at you stoned)

My partner and i had a row a few days ago and i'm still quite upset about it now. should i get some diazepam too? My 16 year old cousin got dumped on monday and has been crying and moping since should she be given drugs to 'help her cope'?

and why macdoodle has had a hard time i don't know. That woman speaks sense.

expatinscotland · 26/06/2014 21:56

LOL @ 'pro benzo's.

parallax80 · 26/06/2014 21:58

I'm sorry. I will sleep on it and try to be less reasonable in the morning Smile.

StoneTheFlamingCrows · 26/06/2014 22:10

We know nothing about the op. Someone with a history of depression and other problems could be very vulnerable after a crisis like this. Life events such as this are well known to be triggers for depression and other mental illness.

The GP will be in a position to assess the situation properly.

Yes we have all been through break-ups and yes they are horrible, and often tea and sympathy is enough to get you through.

But for me personally the break-up from my abusive ex after he had worn away my confidence and isolated me from my friends and family triggered a major depressive episode and subsequent suicide attempt. I think if I had posted here in the immediate aftermath and got the responses the OP has got it probably would have tipped me over the edge a great deal quicker.

TheFairyCaravan · 26/06/2014 22:11

Jesus Wept! No wonder half the country has to wait weeks on end for an appointment with their GP if people think it's ok to go because they are going through the entirely normal set of emotions 24hrs after finding out they have been cheated on!

I really don't think it warrants wasting the GP's time. I don't think it warrants pills. What it needs is time, and in time the OP will feel better. It only happened yesterday FFS!

StoneTheFlamingCrows · 26/06/2014 22:14

Hope you are ok OP. You could try posting in relationships and they will almost certainly be a lot nicer there. Although I wouldn't blame you if you ended up avoiding mn altogether.

MyFairyKing · 26/06/2014 22:15

YANBU to see the GP if you're feeling miserable and shitty but maybe wait till after the weekend and see how you feel?

As for those who think benzos and sleepers should be handed out, I have no words. If someone is under MH services and have a break up, then it may be the straw that breaks the camel's back, so to speak, BUT they are prescribed with a full psychiatric and medical history. I don't know a single psychiatrist who would hand out "a few valium" in this situation and I have worked with many.

MyFairyKing · 26/06/2014 22:16

If the OP does have a MH history, then she missed out a bloody ENORMOUS part of her post. Confused Anyway, thought it was bad form to advance search a poster.

Original poster
extremepie · 26/06/2014 22:17

I dont really want tranquilers or antidepressants, I just wanted something to help me sleep, I was so exhaused this morning after a night after tossing and turning :(

I've calmed down a bit now so I realise I probably do just need to cry and let it be for a bit.

We were together on and off for 10 months but I'm not sure the length of relationship is really relevent, I'm probably more upset over this break up than when I broke up with my ex of 8 years :/

I was the poster you were thinking of Rosie :)

I dont have any family except my sister and I have no friends except him :(

I don't drink tea or coffee and cant stomach anything sweet at the moment.

I would love to have someone round to help with the kids but unfortunately I dont have that option, just have to suck it up but I've been trying to do most of my sobbing in my room on my own when they are at school or in bed.

The girl in question is 17. 17!! She can't even drink legally! He met and slept with her the same day and just tossed me aside like everything we've gone through together just doesn't mean anything :(

I think he didn't want a relationship with me because my son is disabled and too much like hard work for him, his teenager has a baby but because she doesn't have additonal needs it's fine. Also they can dump her baby on her parents while they go off and have a good time which he cant do with me :(

OP posts:
frumpet · 26/06/2014 22:18

Oh dear OP , we have all been there at some point and it is shit ! Going back to your specific question about sleeping and feeling sick , i honestly think your best first port of call would be a pharmacist , go into your local chemists and explain you have recently suffered a distressing break up and i am sure they will be able to provide you with something over the counter to help you through the next couple of days , to aid with sleeping and nausea .
As far as STI's are concerned , dont bother with the GP , go straight to your local GUM service , who will treat you with the care and compassion you deserve , they will have seen every variation of your scenario and more , they are efficent and most of all completely confidential .
Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow and the next day and the next etc ...... Smile

Pumpkinpositive · 26/06/2014 22:21

It does sound grim, Extreme. I think Expat and others were talking about a product called Nytol up thread to help you sleep.

He really does sound like a turd and I hope you'll soon come round to thinking of yourself better off than if it had dragged on much longer. Thanks

jacks365 · 26/06/2014 22:24

Extremepie Thanks

You have been through so much in the last year take some time to be kind to yourself.

Original poster
extremepie · 26/06/2014 22:26

I had to go to the gp anyway for a repeat prescription and the STI check up anyway so thought I'd ask while there but I didn't in the end - I did get some nytol stuff so we'll see if that helps :)

OP posts:
Pumpkinpositive · 26/06/2014 22:28

JUST DONT TAKE THE FUCKER BACK. Thanks Thanks

RosiePosiePing · 26/06/2014 22:35

Is there some sort of support group you could go to locally? My friend found out about one through her GP.