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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party uninvite

308 replies

BatterseaGirl · 18/06/2014 20:41

So I had an email inviting DD to a party. It's a joint party and between the two girls they have invited five children. It's quite a special day out. DD very excited and I replied straightaway with a yes (replied to both mums). Then this evening I had a text from one of the mums saying - "sorry there's been a mix up with the invites ! DD has already promised to others. I'll speak to you tomorrow" AIBU to be livid? And what should I reply?

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 18/06/2014 21:33

Ring nice mum back now.

Original poster
BatterseaGirl · 18/06/2014 21:34

Mean mum was copied in on the reply as well so I'm tempted to just leave it....

OP posts:
newyearnewshoes · 18/06/2014 21:34

Yes def call nice mum to clarify! How horrible and confusing for you!

MrsRuffdiamond · 18/06/2014 21:35

Send an email to first mum:

"I'm assuming you know about the invitation mix-up which xxxx just texted me about? Just emailing to confirm the position with you, as you sent out the original invitation"

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 18/06/2014 21:35

Call (not text or email) mum 1.

YoniMitchell · 18/06/2014 21:36

How mean! You need to pick up with nice mum, bitch mum may consider her text as the final word / spin it

Hope your DD is ok.

DartmoorDoughnut · 18/06/2014 21:36

Just email back nice mum and say your DD is really looking forward to it and thanks for the invite and ignore the mean texting mum

Canthisonebeused · 18/06/2014 21:36

Just phone her.

MaryWestmacott · 18/06/2014 21:37

no, that's not enough, reply all (so coping mean mum) saying:

"Oh, [Nicemum], I'm very confused now, I've just had a message from [bitchmum] saying [DD] is no longer invited. Can you clarify? I'd rather be 100% certain she's been uninvited before I disappoint her, she's going to be upset. Batterseagirl"

sit back and wait.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 18/06/2014 21:37

Call mum 1 now and just say you're confused as you have an email from her saying she's glad your dd can come but you have also had a text saying she's uninvited. I would not converse with mum 2 at all now.

WaitMonkey · 18/06/2014 21:38

I have an 8 year old and can't begin to think how I'd explain to her she'd been uninvited to a party. Phone nice mum.

brokenhearted55a · 18/06/2014 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

softlysoftly · 18/06/2014 21:39

You need to email/call mum 1 now and express how terrible this will make DD feel.

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 18/06/2014 21:39

I'd explain to your daughter that some adults are obnoxious idiots and this woman is one who picks a child every year to invite/uninvite because she's messed up in the head. Make it very clear that it's nothing personal about her then take her out on the day and spoil her with her favourite things to do.

I would ask the mother she does this to a child every year on purpose because you were discussing it with all your friends and nobody can understand how it's possible for anybody to be that incompetent. Ignore any further contact from her.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 18/06/2014 21:39

I don't think you should leave it. Mean mum may think she has dealt with it regardless of the email

Call up nice mum or reply to both saying 'I'm a little confused - mean mum has just texted to uninvite dd. she's really looking forward to it and I don't understand where I stand'

rollonthesummer · 18/06/2014 21:39

Are the two mums really good friends?

BrianTheMole · 18/06/2014 21:39

No, you need to ring nice mum and talk to her about it. Sounds like the other one is being sneaky. Get it out in the open. Let her deal with it. You'll feel better if you do.

Mim78 · 18/06/2014 21:40

Ring nice mum rather than a message. Sort it out for definite that invite stands. Mean mum sounds a nightmare!

Sounds like her dd is trying to dominate invites over the head of nice mum's dd and over rule her invitations.

WipsGlitter · 18/06/2014 21:41

Deffo speak to nice mum.

CoffeeTea103 · 18/06/2014 21:42

It's one party it's not the end of the world really.

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 18/06/2014 21:42

Sorry didn't see your last post, looks like bitch mum made this decision by herself, call nice mum explaining situation. Tell everyone what a cunt bitch mum is so they know to watch out for her in the future.

nippysweetie82 · 18/06/2014 21:43

Yanbu. The same thing happened to my dd when she was 7. The mother phoned to invite her out for the day to a theme park and dinner for her daughters birthday. I told my daughter who was really excited about it.
The following day I got a text message to say that my dd had only been invited as another friend couldn't make it. As the mother of that girl had managed to reschedule a few things she'd had a change of heart and decided to let her daughter go. Followed by "I knew you wouldn't mind".
My daughter was gutted and like an idiot I never let on how annoyed I was and how upset my daughter had been. Don't make the same mistake, let her know that you're pissed off!

MissYamabuki · 18/06/2014 21:43

Agree with Mary... reply to all asking for clarification.

FreudiansSlipper · 18/06/2014 21:43

i think many on here are being very ott

I hope it is a mix up and you dd gets to go

but if not do not make a drama out of it, yes she will be upset but in life promises are sometimes broken and out hurt for our own children can make an issue much bigger than it is

mistakes happen

Original poster
BatterseaGirl · 18/06/2014 21:44

I know it's not the end of the world and tbh DD will take it on the chin. I'm just really annoyed to have been put in this position.

OP posts: