To think that for any parents who use this site and have DCs who will only achieve C and D grades it must be soul destroying.

[smokepole]

Fortunately my three DC will ( probably all go to university with good GCSE and A level results) . However, the vast majority of kids and surely many parents on here have children , who will not achieve 'great results'. The parents must feel that they as well as their children have failed. The 'constant' discussions on Oxbridge/ RG universities must make these parents feel like they are living in a parallel universe. The vast majority of kids will not go to either of these institutions , 'modest' or normal universities are continually disregarded on Mumsnet ,( though for many kids, even these universities are unattainable).

I just want to send some support out to those parents and their DC. I want to let them know that despite 'average' results , they can still achieve great things , with or without great exam results.

Oh, OP.

Yeah, nah.

Regards,

ThomasLynn
Who was expected to go far, but didn't.

I've just registered on PlentyOfFish, to tell the pug ugly people on there that, while I bed supermodels every week, they have my support when nasty attractive people make them feel bad for not getting a date.

The only reason the OP isn't a stealth boast is that it's about as stealthy as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a polar bears only golf club.

that's fairly stealthy.

OP - the first to go to university apart from.. is just not the first.

You can't claim The First by disregarding those who did it before. That's just daft.

Your nieces are the first in your and dh family to go to university. if your children do, they will be the next. Not the first apart from...

Oh dear OP, I'm trying, but I really can't see why on earth you'd post such a thing?!

I LOVE smug parents. They invariably fail and then have to concoct crap to spout to justify why their hothoused DC didn't get the anticipated A* grades .

Marking my place for the future with a "told you so" emocation at the ready.

op

I think most of us understand what you are trying to say

But you have said it dreadfully and that why you have pissed people off

Not me, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks

I am however confused, I have academic ones, ones who can dance and ones who have fantastic hair. They are all very goddlooking...not sure where that puts my family

Op I understood your post what you meant is still condescending twattyness, most people on here are not that interested in other posters children or which university they go too, was your post a thought you typed out loud maybe step away from the keyboard for a while

It's just that the enthusiasm for punctuation and obsession with school and uniform is very similar to the OP on this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1846416-To-agree-with-the-Headmistress-to-send-home-pupils-who-do-not-conform-to-regulation-school-uniform

Apologies if not you.

My 3 are as thick as shit. At least I won't be forking out a load of dosh for them to go to some poncey university.
However DD has incredibly long legs and DS1 can make his tongue into a clover shape.
Thanks for your concern though.

Brilliant opening line. Very funny.

Yep, keep digging op. And obviously your dc aren't the first if your nieces went are they . You're not coming across well here op. I'm sure you have the best intentions. I've read some of your past threads and I can see you've had some problems with your dc's education. So I understand why you're proud, pleased, relieved and all those things. So would I be. But, I'm not sure you would have been that pleased to read a thread like this at that time. Because it does come across has a stealth boast dressed up as support. Maybe you should stop now.

I seriously just nearly spat out my tea. I was predicted As and A*s in Year 8. Got to year 9... Know what I got?
C- English Language
C-English Literature
B-Spanish
D-Maths
F-History
E-Media
D-Everything else

I then went to college and did Level 2 Video Game Development in ICT. Got Pass, Pass, Merit. Overall pass. I then went to do something else and quit after a month to find a job, I now work in a solicitors as an apprentice. I earn very little but the experience is amazing. Yes, I would have liked to do law, Psychology, Sociology & something else maybe at sixth. But, I didn't. I could have done if I redid maths but I can't do maths. I am thick as pig shit when it comes to academics. I am smart in other things. I've learned and remembered a lot more since I've left school. Grades have nothing to do with how smart you are - at all. It means you can remember and store information. I can't do that too well. My mum did think she failed with me. But, I taught myself basic Japanese. I can draw. I can do make-up. I can sit and watch 9 seasons of a show in a week and a half, although not any more.
Schools nowadays are what even my teachers called exam factories. They shove information down your throat so you can get top grades, so Ofsted can rate them excellent. Wow. Brilliant. I hated school, thanks to a depression I suffered from year 7 to even now, which made me do worse. But, I can spell. I can read, I can write. I will never, ever go to university. That doesn't make me a failure. I'm an adult and I don't know what I want to do as a career. That doesn't make me a failure either. I'm probably a lot better and happier than I was in school. The stress I was under to do well by my family when I was above everyone in my class in Primary, was astounding. They didn't care about my happiness, just a degree. Are they proud of me without it? Yes. I work in a law firm for my first job. That's fuckin' awesome to them.
Don't think that grades = happiness, intelligence & status. They don't. Knowing how the world works and making yourself happy gives you a bit of substance in this world nowadays. An A* on a bit of paper doesn't.

oh do fuck off OP

Ouch.

My irony chip just melted.

IMO:

Most people with kids couldn't give a toss about what other kids grades are. Only the weird ones who constantly compare their kids to others do.

Most people with kids who have SN really, well and truly couldn't give a toss about anything other than getting a day off or some sleep- let alone what other kids grades are. Getting DS to tie his own shoelaces at 11 was a big enough achievement.

No-one gives a shit about RG universities. Only if you can do your job with as fewer fuck ups and costs as possible.

Silver . Apologies accepted..

Perhaps the reason I struggle with correct use of punctuation, is down to the fact I have D grade GCSE standard English.

Public Service Announcement

RG stands for Russell Group. The Russell Group is a lobbying group created to provide a voice for over 20 Research Universities.

If a university is a member of the Russell Group, one may assume it conducts a lot of research. The technical term is research-intensive, IIRC.

As your DC is going to university to be an undergraduate and learn, not to conduct research and tell the rest of the academic community how it's done, the RG status of the university means bugger all.

When your child is working on their PhD, then "s/he's at an RG university" may become a worthy boast. At the moment, it just makes me think, "do you take any interest in your child's education?"

Me and dsis were the first to go to uni in our family, and a RG one at that... 2 b's, 1 c and the rest d's and e's were all I managed at gcse's.

Both dp and dbil earn far more than us and didn't go to uni, as will ds1 probably when he finishes his apprenticeship. they love their jobs too, me and dsis, not so much!

Havana might just have proved your point there Tilly

The best part of this thread is BadLad's Blackadder reference upthread. Well done!

Hecate. Niece is extended family. DD1,2 + DS = immediate family.

I thought when people say "nobody from my family" has gone to university, they were talking about their immediate family not extended family.

Incidentally ( though it will probably alienate people here) It was not my affluent middle class upbringing which prevented me attending university, but my lack of academic ability.....

My dd has just achieved a bachelor of science goic I have modules in social care meh what does it matter you are proud of your children that is fantastc but not everybody fees gutted about their children because others onhere go to rg university

I hope you all noticed my not so stealth boast

I know what RG is, Anna and we both trained as nurses so the research aspect was of interest to us. They do a lot of medical research.

"No one on MN has average children"

People always complain about this, but if you think about it, it makes total sense. If your child is within striking distance of the norm, you don't need to post on here to ask questions, you just ask around outside school/within the family. If they have a SEN / are struggling / are way ahead then its far more likely that you'll need to seek advice from a wider pool of experience.

Oh and I've already stated that ds1 didn't go to uni so I'm not sure what point I proved there

Op, despite the comments about stealth etc I understand what you are saying. I have lost count of the number of times I have posted re RG unis, A grades, BTEC, 'micky mouse subjects' as the majority on mn do think that RG/A etc is the only thing that should be considered like Goves current thinking