To think that for any parents who use this site and have DCs who will only achieve C and D grades it must be soul destroying.

[smokepole]

Fortunately my three DC will ( probably all go to university with good GCSE and A level results) . However, the vast majority of kids and surely many parents on here have children , who will not achieve 'great results'. The parents must feel that they as well as their children have failed. The 'constant' discussions on Oxbridge/ RG universities must make these parents feel like they are living in a parallel universe. The vast majority of kids will not go to either of these institutions , 'modest' or normal universities are continually disregarded on Mumsnet ,( though for many kids, even these universities are unattainable).

I just want to send some support out to those parents and their DC. I want to let them know that despite 'average' results , they can still achieve great things , with or without great exam results.

The rg parents really are a minority of mumsnet imo its just something they cling too , my dds are not super bright and dd degree is vocational not academic, its hardly history of art or anything

The parents must feel that they as well as their children have failed.

If my DC don't go to university, or take A levels I will not feel as though I've failed - and I actually find it quite offensive to suggest that I might.

Good grief OP you need to get over yourself.

I get the message and I think its well intended but completely overridden by your not so stealth boast and condescending message of support at the end.

Anyway success at schools means bugger all. I flunked school, got my act together at 22 and graduated from one of these RG universities at 26. If you had met me at 16 you would never have predicted that, so writing kids off in their teens is ridiculous. Equally your child's academic prowess at school bears no relation to what they end up doing. My sister left school with a string of A grades and now works in a pretty basic admin role which fits around her family life and has little or no pressure.

Erm Woodpecker I don't think the OP had any good intentions here!

My son got mostly Cs and Ds
I did not fail him, he failed himself.
However he pulled himself up and he got himself a 4 year apprenticeship and is doing great.

He was always adamant that he wanted to get a trade and work. He is not a failure, neither am I.

I would call stealth boast but it's all boast and no stealth

i have an average child im relieved my eldest is in the "gifted and talented" category at school its a nightmare having a 14 year old who does genuinely know more than me! (although i can do my own gas bill and she cannot)

The parents must feel that they as well as their children have failed.

I achieved D's and E's at A level, and didn't go to university. I worked hard and now have a great job earning good money - my parents are very proud of me.

How dare you assume that they feel they have failed, or that I am a failure, because of my school results?!

Thanks for the amazing laugh OP you are a SNOB

Hyacinth Bucket-itis

Totally fucked up thread.

Exam results are all pretty irrelevant in the long run.

My below-average qualifications are:

GCSEs: 1A, 8Bs and 1C
A levels: B, D, D
Degree: 3rd (from non RG uni) and only because they took pity on me.

But after 15 years of bloody hard grafting I earn seriously offensive sums of money and I'm right at the top of my profession. Exams did not help me get where I am today. And I see scores of graduates from Oxbridge/RG unis who may write great essays but are pretty damn hopeless in a commercial environment.

I think my posting has been misread. I am in no way having a laugh at average kids nor is my post a 'wind up'( maybe I have miss phrased and the correct meaning of my post misunderstood

I think you have an unfortunate tendency to express yourself badly and say the wrong thing.

I am sorry OP, I was sucked in by the title ( good, fair point!) but then was put off by your patronising post.

I mean, really patronising.

Shame..

But how nice for you to have future effortless a*oxbridge material kids. Well done you.

Thank you OP, I can rest assured that my children won't necessarily end up on the scrap heap.

Thank goodness I read this, I've been worried half to death.

I see the op has predicted a glittering academic future for her off spring and they are yet to take a public examination, let alone hit the giddy heights of oxbridge or a russel group university. Talk about setting yourself up for a fall.

Whoever upthread said the Russel group is a cartel of research led universities (and is no guarantee of high quality undergrad teaching) hit the nail on the head. In fact you are likely to get better, more innovative undergrad teaching at a post 1992 institution as they are geared up for this. I say this as someone on their third russel group university.

What odds on a thread bemoaning the fact that her kids have bbeen let down by the school when they fail to achieve the grades the op feels are theirs for the asking?

eh? you what?

You meant your children?

you said "they will be the first in either my or DHs family(excluding Nieces)..."

in EITHER my OR DH family.

Now you say that when you specified you or your husband's family, you meant your immediate family as in your children?

So you are saying that when you said that they would be the first in either your or your husband's family (excluding nieces) you meant that if your children go to university, they will be the first of your children to go to university?(I don't know how many children you have that have not gone to university) but other people in the wider family have gone to university.

And no, when you say "my or my husband's family", that does not mean the children you share. It means the extended family on both sides. Our children means our children.

Exam grades mean fuck all, they really do. I'm one of three siblings. The other two were grade A students, naturally intelligent and had the world at their feet. One of them ended their own life after a battle with alcohol and depression, the other dropped out of uni, was unemployed for a decade and is only just working now on an entry level job. I was a c/d student but managed to scrape enough to go to university and am now in a decent graduate job.

Ummm, you're NOT being serious, surely? I was hothoused, winning a scholarship to a good school. I did well until my final year when the pressure got to me. I left before my exams and never went back. I've led an ordinarily happy life, no massive highs and no massive lows. I have no regrets except that my parents couldn't see the bloody huge pressure they put on me.

You sound like a smug git, to me.

First off all I have not predicted a glittering academic future for my children. I was perhaps wrong to say that my three DC will go to university, although I did qualify the statement by saying that DD1 is predicted 3 Bs and has been offered 'Leicester'. I have perhaps been guilty of being over optimistic about my other two children and their prospects , this is done because ( unlike many people on here university is not normal and mainstream for me) . I have also stated that I know many people, who have very little in terms of academic qualifications yet have been very successful .

How can I be the least bit smug, when you look at my academic qualifications?.

However, in the world today any academic qualifications are a bonus no matter how entrepreneurial the person may be. I have done all right despite having virtually no qualifications, it would have made it easier though if I had studied at a higher level. ( you can see this by my sometimes shaky grammar, or punctuation ).

What a load of goady old toss. Plenty of people succeed without Russell Group degrees and plenty of people with RG degrees go on to become assistants in Dental Practices etc

I'm dead proud of my average kids. let's face it, someone needs to breed the next generation of road sweepers and checkout girls...

And plenty of people with no academic qualifications whatsoever end up with exemplary grammatical and spelling skills because they read books and absorb how it's done and put it into practice. I'm related to loads of them.

I was perhaps wrong to say that my three DC will go to university, although I did qualify the statement by saying that DD1 is predicted 3 Bs and has been offered 'Leicester

3 Bs and (non Russell group) Leicester. It is a bit - dare I say it - average.

Nevermind, I'm sure he'll be able to do something despite that.

You have my support at this difficult time.

I agree with ComposHat, it must be soul destroying for you, OP.

Where have I said that my children were/have Oxbridge or Russell group potential?. I have made the point that university is not the only way in every post I have made.

The point about 3Bs being average shows exactly the point I am making, in the world away from here 3Bs at A level is in no way average.
My DDs1 school will be lucky if they have 3 pupils achieve 3BS at A level, but the school has what are real average pupils, not Mumsnet average.