To think that for any parents who use this site and have DCs who will only achieve C and D grades it must be soul destroying.

[smokepole]

Fortunately my three DC will ( probably all go to university with good GCSE and A level results) . However, the vast majority of kids and surely many parents on here have children , who will not achieve 'great results'. The parents must feel that they as well as their children have failed. The 'constant' discussions on Oxbridge/ RG universities must make these parents feel like they are living in a parallel universe. The vast majority of kids will not go to either of these institutions , 'modest' or normal universities are continually disregarded on Mumsnet ,( though for many kids, even these universities are unattainable).

I just want to send some support out to those parents and their DC. I want to let them know that despite 'average' results , they can still achieve great things , with or without great exam results.

I got a C, D and E at College, got accepted to 2 different universities and went to one of them. Went on to get a 2:2 and now do a totally unrelated to my subject job, but get paid quite well to do it!

I'm not sure your post really said what you wanted it to... it came across as very patronizing and yes, a stealth boast too. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that but this is not going to do well... (you may want to don your hard hat).

I've never really felt like I failed from reading MN, nor would I expect my DM to feel bad if reading it with regards to my academia. I'm in no doubt that my parents wish I'd have been more academic but like the majority of parents, they appriciate that there is so much more to a person and to life than how well they do at school.

I wouldn't count your chickens OP, predicted grades don't always translate to actual achievement.

I was so proud of my son when he got a D grade in his one exam he has taken so far.

We were told when he was young that he would probably never be able to live alone.

Now he is predicted D grades and applying for college.

He works darn hard every single day. With his drive and attitude I know he will get far in life. He wants to be a chef and he will succeed without or without good grades.

I will be proud of all of mine no matter what grades they get.

I have two children who due to their SN's will get 'poor' grades, two who are average and one who is very smart. I have never felt I have failed any of mine and never would. I would think I have failed them if they grow up to be pretentious arseholes though.

The point to the thread is to show support to parents who have children like myself (who despite ( having undiagnosed SEN 1980s) can still achieve in the outside world.

Ok Maybe it is a strange and unusual post, but I personally have felt 'soul destroyed' in the past by my academic qualifications ,( laugh at them , that's my coping strategy) despite doing quite well outside the classroom.

Wow after reading the OP I wouldn't be feeling sorry for parents whose children get an average grade I would look a little closer to home and feel sorry for your children for having such a pillock obnoxious and darn right rude parent like you how you put your own circumstances on a
Such high form be very careful its a long way down if (god forbid your child gets a devastatingly average c grade

get a grip

Londonrach, while I'd love carers to earn more (meaning dh could quit work and look after me full time, rather than work himself into an early grave doing everything!) supply and demand is like, the first thing you learn in business. (Did i mention my a* in gcse business?)

Good footballers/actors/singers are a 'rare' commodity. Nurses/carers/solidiers are 'limitless' and paid accordingly.

My daughter-on paper-would appear to lead a charmed existence. She has all A at gcse and 4 A at A level in physics, chemistry, biology and maths. She isn't doing vet or medicine but is studying sports science at our local uni (AAB entry required) because she is also a top level athlete/hockey player. But this gorgeous, sporty, academic vision made a nearly successful attempt at suicide in feb of this year and ended up in hospital for a spell, she suffers terribly from depression and anxiety and self harms to a huge extent. Her younger brother on the other hand has just completed gcse. He is likely to get a mix of ABC and maybe the odd DE too. He "failed" the 11+- we are in NI. She would sell her soul to the devil to have his people skills and sense of ease at being himself. He is also a top level hockey player and walks on the pitch believing that he might well be the best player out there. She is potentially better than him but carries the weight of the responsibility for the whole team on her shoulders. So to respond to OP-my children's grades are just that-their grades. They don't make or break them and they don't define them. They don't even really open doors for them. Both were interviewed for summer job recently-and he, without a qualification. To his name as yet, got the job. She would work equally as hard-but he's the charmer. And that "people pleasing" will get him every bit as far as her A* grades.

Well, your post came across as condescending and like we are meant to feel like we failed our average children.

Perhaps you just worded it very badly and your intent was to be helpful.

I would consider getting this thread deleted and name changing

What if your children don't want to go to uni? My (above average) dd didn't want to and I have haven't pressurised her about it.

Tbh I have seen the occasional thread where parents have been up in arms because their child got a B and it just makes me roll my eyes and feel sorry for their kids.

dH and I didn't go to uni.
That seems to irk quite a lot of people

I have a very intelligent child, an average child and a child with SN.

However we all dance quite magnificently.

turdfairy. I am so sorry your daughter struggles so much.

Turdfairy

I'm so sorry to hear thatb

Dd who is ever so average is by far my happiest child.

What U2 said. I really do think you worded your OP badly!
I hope you don't still feel soul destroyed by your qualifications, it can't be good for your self esteem to constantly be thinking of the what ifs.

My exDP hasn't got any exams to his name at all, he was homeschooled and never got around to doing them. No GCSEs, nothing. He's on £100,000- so it has not held him back.

Grades are not the be all and and all, it's more important to be happy and self motivated.

I have a highly intelligent DS who will have no difficulty scoring very high on any examination but is incapable of even the most basic of independent self care skills - he can memorise and regurgitate any fact you give him.

I have a DD with severe brain damage due to several strokes. At age 8, she still cannot write her name or count.

I am so honoured that you are willing to stoop and take pity on families like mine when yours is so perfect.

Agree with you smokepole. I have one DC who has never achieved an A in GCSEs or A levels and went to (shock horror) a non RG university. The shame of it ...
(Stealth boast - But he's now going to the same RG university to do the same masters as his clever sibling)

Oh yes. Those poor, poor people with stupid kids. It's ok. They tried their best.

see I just don't see posts you must see OP - i just don't see that on MN - but I only post on a few forums

me - I left school with 1 cse and 1 c at o level

did a BTEC in social care and then got 2 d's at A level

ended up at a RG Uni - got a 2:1 and then my masters

I also work helping young people into education - I know the world doesn't end if you don't get 'levels'

I just haven't seen any posts saying it does

That made me arf. My DC's are still only little but as long as they are happy in life I don't give a shit what qualifications they get.

The parents must feel that they as well as their children have failed.
What a horrible thing to post. Success in life isn't just measured by letters after your name or exam results.

Smokepole (and suspected previous nc) seems to have a massive axe to grind regarding educational issues...

See I went to an RG uni and can't even do the quote thing properly!

Gordy try reading some of the threads in Higher Education about A Levels and university entrance.

Urm erm oh fuck it what are you even saying you condescending twat,

Op let me tell you a story about my 25 year old DD. She went to a very good state school and left at 16 with 2 passes in her GCSEs, one at C and one at D. The school taught her to be sociable and confident despite her lack of academic ability.

She worked for a year as a shop assistant, on her feet all day and working every weekend. It was here that she honed her interpersonal skills.

After a year she decided she needed a change so she went through the local yellow pages and called every local firm. Despite not having passed her driving test at the time she was given a job selling cars. This she did for 4 years whilst getting a diploma in event management by distance learning.

She then worked for a year at an employment agency to find the job she really wanted. She now has it. She is earning twice as much as her step brothers after leaving their respective RG unis.

She is clever, confident, a self starter and very driven. She had 2 poor passes in her exams and left school at 16. Academic success is not the be all and end all.