To think that my 3 year old can't be a racist?

[DroppingIn]

Nursery pulled me over when I picked up DS yesterday to tell me that DS did not want to share with another boy apparently and when he was asked why said he said it was because the other boy was 'black'.

We talked about it on the way home and about people looking different colours and how we are all the same. It is not something that has ever come up before although there are quite a few black DC/Asian in his nursery.

I was not going to tell him off for saying the other DC was black as he is. I also was not going to tell him off for not sharing in this particular instance as DS is normally very good at sharing but I have seen several instances where other DC have snatched stuff off him and it being dressed up as 'sharing' which gets on my tits tbh.

I am concerned now that the nursery is going to have him down as a mini racist and of course, the parents of the other boy being told about it and thinking there may be more to it than there is.

What to do?

I don't think the 6ft 5 Jamaican woman is going to take lightly to that

I know a few Jamaican people and they are all lovely and friendly people... So I don't know why you have used the term "take lightly to that"

But oh yes, a lot of people have stereo types of Jamaican people, when they are people just like the rest of us.

I have neither followed nor shouted at you, you are feeling a little touchy today aren't you? You seem to be happy enough to be vocal about your views in one place then expect everyone to magically forget their relevance in the next instance. You do hold views on the edge of racist, I am aware of this from other threads, I do feel its relevant here. As in any other debate or in RL prior knowledge will make a difference to the shape of that discussion. Either deal with that rationally, name change or have less memorable views

Back to the thread. Does your hair colour make you different to me other than visually? If not then why would skin colour?

PrincessBabyCat

Exactly...

It's about embracing difference not ignoring it.

You do hold views on the edge of racist

You show me one instance without your imagination filling in gaps that don't exist?

If you can't show where i've been racist then i'll accept an apology ehh?

I know a woman from Zimbabwe, she voted UKIP, I don't know her well enough to go into it all with her but she was emphatic that all people who come to live in any other country other than their own should learn the language of that country.
She is adamant that Nigel Farage is not a racist because his wife is German.
I don't know the answer or what to say to her.
I only know that I won't vote for UKIP.

It's about embracing difference not ignoring it.

Steady on, old chap. Is that in the manifesto?

Steady on, old chap. Is that in the manifesto?

That question would be better asked to the 6 ft 5 Jamaican fella upthread :)

mwahmum what the actual fuck are you on about, stop sniffing nail varnish remover and look again at what I said...

You assume all ukip supporters are white racists, my friend is a ukip supporter but also happens to be a big black Jamaican woman and definatley not a racist. So would you tell her she is a racist because she votes ukip? I think if you went round her house and tried spouting your ukip supporters are racists she wouldn't be too happy. That was what I was saying....

By the way, I'm a plaid cymru supporter.

lovethe tigger suggestion btw

I just know they will slip up on occasion and knowing my luck will be the one blinking word he picks up on!! blush The trigger idea is a good one, I can but try haha!!

Yep. If they use the word in front of him just breezily say 'they mean tigger'

It's about embracing difference not ignoring it

Difference meaning the colour of someones skin, in my eyes someone with with a different colour skin to mine is no different, I do not see skin colour I see the person, and if describing someone I never start with their skin colour first.

I am so glad my son is like this too.

Mwah you sound like a fridge magnet

MwahMum

Are you having your own conversation here?

If you expect a 3 year old to register adult thoughts and constraint then you very well might be expecting too much.

As for my embracing differences post that's exactly how it should be....if you honesty think that people don't recognise colour as a difference then you're doing it wrong.

fid yes I will do that while glaring at the uncle's and father....

Its so funny because as a white person I wouldn't dream of saying half the stuff that comes out of their mouths about black people, but oh my gosh they just go with it. They also find it hilarious when white people fight over what to call them. Through being in a mixed race relationship, you actually learn that they don't give a shit, as long as it's not directed at them in a vindictive or vicious way my DP and his family don't care if you called them black, mixed race, whatever they really don't mind.

my friend is a ukip supporter but also happens to be a big black Jamaican woman

You used the term big & black why? the vast majority of Jamaican people in the UK Afro Caribbean Heritage, so I already gathered she was.

Sniffing nail polish remover? I don't know whether to laugh or... I guess that's something that you do... Go you thumbs up

caruthersbeen there done that not playing the game again.

embracing the difference

This is what I am struggling with, what difference? Genuine question?

Everyone is different is a given as every single person is an individual but does appearance make that difference? It's part of it but shouldn't reflect anything more than appearance as it shouldn't be assumption that a boat load of "stuff" is attached to that difference.

Surely at age 3 it's easier to say "how people look makes no difference" than try and explain that concept? That's not the same as saying that skin colour doesn't exist, just that it isn't defining iykwim?

Boudicca1990, with all due respect I would be interested to know why a Jamaican/black person would be voting for UKIP?
My DS who is gay wouldn't vote for them.

I do not see skin colour I see the person

While the default color is white, "not seeing race" is a harmful attitude. If you can't see race, you can't see racism.

A fridge magnet?

STOP IT FIDELINE

caruthers been there done that not playing the game again.

So calling someone a racist without actual proof (Just a murder she wrote hunch) is acceptable is it?

Very well done!

While the default color is white, "not seeing race" is a harmful attitude. If you can't see race, you can't see racism.

gertie because she does, and at the end of the day we live in a ccountry where we have a choice of who we vote for. It's not my place to question her on her political alliances, the same way I wouldn't want the Spanish inquisition for being a plaid cymru supporter. We live in a democracy where we all get a choice. I have never questioned anyone on why they vote for who theydo, I see it as a personal choice.

mwahmum I was being descriptive, she is big she is black and she is Jamaican.

Can't you just see the person?

Oh I get that Boudicca, I just can't get why she would think they would ever represent her or fight her battles.