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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my 3 year old can't be a racist?

264 replies

DroppingIn · 18/06/2014 00:05

Nursery pulled me over when I picked up DS yesterday to tell me that DS did not want to share with another boy apparently and when he was asked why said he said it was because the other boy was 'black'.

We talked about it on the way home and about people looking different colours and how we are all the same. It is not something that has ever come up before although there are quite a few black DC/Asian in his nursery.

I was not going to tell him off for saying the other DC was black as he is. I also was not going to tell him off for not sharing in this particular instance as DS is normally very good at sharing but I have seen several instances where other DC have snatched stuff off him and it being dressed up as 'sharing' which gets on my tits tbh.

I am concerned now that the nursery is going to have him down as a mini racist and of course, the parents of the other boy being told about it and thinking there may be more to it than there is.

What to do?

OP posts:
MwahMum · 18/06/2014 01:27

gertiegusset What I said in the second paragraph want referring to you.

Fideliney · 18/06/2014 01:27

Mwah you are clearly very keen to find offence.

Would you like me to start an unambiguously biggoted thread just for you so that you can get it out of your system?

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 01:28

Agreeing with Fideline again.

Smile
MwahMum · 18/06/2014 01:29

Does being black skinned mean you have a different culture?

Do you know the meaning of the word "culture"

caruthers · 18/06/2014 01:29

MwahMum

A poster follows me about shouting UKIP and then calls me a racist and you are telling me i've got a problem?

That's pretty much nonsense.

MwahMum · 18/06/2014 01:30

Fideliney I have nothing in my system... I am not here throwing insults or calling anyone ignorant.

Fideliney · 18/06/2014 01:30

**

Agreeing with Fideline again.

Sorry gertie I didn't realise it was so painful Grin

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 01:30

Ooops, soz Mwah, maybe you could be a bit clearer.

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 01:32

Grin at Fideline, no, it's ok really!

Fideliney · 18/06/2014 01:33

Hope you're finding some of this reassuring OP (despite the bunfight) Smile Flowers

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 01:33

culture

/?k?lt??/

noun

noun: culture; plural noun: cultures

the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.

"20th century popular culture"

synonyms: the arts, the humanities; More

intellectual achievement(s), intellectual activity;

literature, music, painting, philosophy

"20th century popular culture"

•

a refined understanding or appreciation of culture.

"men of culture"

synonyms: intellectual/artistic awareness, education, cultivation, enlightenment, discernment, discrimination, good taste, taste, refinement, polish; More

sophistication, urbanity, urbaneness;

erudition, learning, letters;

belles-lettres

"a man of culture"

the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society.

"Afro-Caribbean culture"

synonyms: civilization, society, way of life, lifestyle; More

customs, traditions, heritage, habits, ways, mores, values

"people from many different cultures"

•

the attitudes and behaviour characteristic of a particular social group.

"the emerging drug culture"

Biology

the cultivation of bacteria, tissue cells, etc. in an artificial medium containing nutrients.

"the cells proliferate readily in culture"

•

a preparation of cells obtained by culture.

"the bacterium was isolated in two blood cultures"

the cultivation of plants.

"this variety of lettuce is popular for its ease of culture"

synonyms: cultivation, growing, farming; More

agriculture, husbandry, agronomy

"the culture of crops"

verb
Biology

verb: culture; 3rd person present: cultures; past tense: cultured; past participle: cultured; gerund or present participle: culturing

maintain (tissue cells, bacteria, etc.) in conditions suitable for growth.

"several investigators have attempted to culture biliary cells"

caruthers · 18/06/2014 01:34

Yup that's culture gertie :)

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 01:34

Cripes, didn't think it would be so long... Blush

Boudica1990 · 18/06/2014 01:34

I think my post has been lost in amongst the argument Confused

But again OP fret not your child is not a racist.

MwahMum · 18/06/2014 01:34

Caruthers Well are you a UKIP voter?

caruthers · 18/06/2014 01:37

Caruthers Well are you a UKIP voter?

And that has what to do with being a racist?

Furthermore if you don't agree that people are different to one another then no wonder you find the word 'Ignorant' offensive.

This thread had nothing to do with UKIP and an admirer launches what she remembered about the many UKIP threads at me......it's surreal.

Fideliney · 18/06/2014 01:41

Boudica could you buy him tigger books, toys, DVDs and turn him into massive tigger fan?

How long have you got?

Boudica1990 · 18/06/2014 01:41

Mwahmum I find your assumption that UKIP supporters are racist offensive. You can knock on my friemds door who is a ukip supported and call her a racist if you want but I don't think the 6ft 5 Jamaican woman is going to take lightly to that...

MwahMum · 18/06/2014 01:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

caruthers · 18/06/2014 01:43

I asked you a question, are you a UKIP voter? If you are it just goes to show what kind of person you are

More ignorance and so very very angry.

You'll be the one doing the reading i'll wager.

Fideliney · 18/06/2014 01:43

You have to admit you'd make a strange sort of mother Caruthers Grin

caruthers · 18/06/2014 01:44

You have to admit you'd make a strange sort of mother Caruthers

I'm certainly 'Different' in that dept :)

Fideliney · 18/06/2014 01:45

You'll be the one doing the reading i'll wager.

She won't. Clearly no self-awareness at all. Peculiar, illogical person.

PrincessBabyCat · 18/06/2014 01:45

MwahMum "Refusing" to see race isn't being not racist. It's just reinforcing the idea that different is bad. When the default is white, and you refuse to acknowledge another skin color, you are helping to internalize racism that not-white is somehow bad because "we are all the same" when we're not.

The problem with seeing skin color isn't the fact that you noticed a black person is indeed black, it's that with skin color comes a bunch of stereotypes and images that pop into your head that are reinforced through media. Generally when people comment on skin color it's all they see when it should just be a part of what they see, like when they look at someone with brown hair. You don't just see the brown hair, but it is a part of a person and it's fine to acknowledge that.

When you acknowledge race and embrace that different is good, you are helping different races become equal and co-exist. But this PC mentality of having to tip toe around acknowledging race really does more harm than good.

Boudica1990 · 18/06/2014 01:45

Fid I have a while till nursery seen as he isn't due to be born for another 8weeks, so have about 2 years to sort it out, but it won't be a light task. I just know they will slip up on occasion and knowing my luck will be the one blinking word he picks up on!! Blush

The trigger idea is a good one, I can but try haha!!