Just found underwear from bfs ex girlfriend in my flat. Help what do I do?

[Tulip1011]

Title pretty much says it all! I'm confident the ex was years ago and now remarried. But my bf has hung on to her underwear?? Deliberately unpacked and kept at the bottom of his side of the wardrobe. My immediate reaction is to throw it. Am I right??

I can't believe anyone thinks it's ok to hang on to a previous partner's underwear. Photos, books, theatre programmes yes -undies, definitely not! If the OP's boyfriend is deliberately keeping these items, there is either something amiss with him or with his current relationship. I think the OP senses this and that spurred her on to "snoop". I don't see the OP's finding of these items as "snooping" in the sense of unjustified busybodying but more as looking for evidence to confirm something she already knows or suspects - a lack of commitment from her partner or hankering after an old flame. Either of these is bad news for the OP and the sooner she knows the better so she can decide what action she wants to take.

Objection... still a better love story than Twilight ;)

She snooped because she's done it previously and the Trust issues in the relationship aren't resolved. They pre date her moving in.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO THEY BELONGED TO?

Calloh, if someone is on a break in a relationship then they are fine to go on a date imo. And this was very well covered in a few episodes of Friends.

Animation
"Boney - she found knickers - another woman's knickers!!"

No she didn't.

What did she find Boney - bras and nighties??

What an liberty!

But she has good reason to "snoop" if she is finding previous girlfriend's underwear! She has a perfect right to know if her partner is hoarding his ex's bras! There is no way this is part of a normal, desirable relationship and the OP is completely justified in being upset/concerned about it. She should ask him about it and then insist he throws the items away - if he doesn't want to, she's got all the answer she needs and should walk.

Bettercallsaul1
"I think the OP senses this and that spurred her on to "snoop"."

Theres that gut instinct cutting in making it right to do something wrong,

Well then, it's not the right relationship for her.

I can't believe anyone thinks it's ok to hang on to a previous partner's underwear.

Humour me and explain why it's not ok? Several people have said it's not but no one has explained why.

Animation
"What did she find Boney - bras and nighties??

What an liberty!"

If you are going to post incorrect facts then you are going to get called on it and yes, it is a liberty to snoop.

Bettercallsaul1

"She should ask him about it and then insist he throws the items away - if he doesn't want to, she's got all the answer she needs and should walk"

She already has form for that.

TBH, IMO, it would probably be best for the both of them if she did leave.

Ive just thought, maybe he has a secret knicker sniffing fetish, maybe hidden in all sorts of places are other people knickers that he has a quick sniff of.... naughty boy.

Boudicca

That was implied up thread.

Boney - you are wrong - she has the moral high ground not he.

Maybe they're his mother's

his grandmother's

HIS OWN

Animation, we are not going to agree, you see snooping and spying on a partner as some sort of right and a natural thing to do, whereas I see it as a breach of trust.

To me the spying is a deal breaker as would be demanding that I get rid of momentos from my past.

Maybe they are a present for the OP that he bought from the charity shop to surprise her with.

^^those block caps meant more humorously then psychotically

A knicker thieving sniffer! Double whammy!!

60/40 humourous/psychotic?