To have just realised that I have no friends

[DDDDDORA]

Four times this week I made plans (2 of them with the same person) and on all 4 occasions I have text to confirm plans to be told that they now have other plans and can we do it another time. People only chat to me when other people aren't around as soon as someone better comes along they walk away/ turn back on me.
I can't remember the last time I was invited along to anything and I always arrange things but 90% of the time people cancel or forget.
AIBU to think I must be a pretty boring person and WIBU to just give up on people altogether?

I'll join the FB group.....I've got the sum total of one good friend. Who lives in a different country. My FB page has tumbleweeds rolling through it.

Ok
Group is called
The Jilly No Mates Mutual Appreciation Society

I have some PMs so will add people if you find it

I know how you all feel. I probably have a total of 4 what I would call proper friends. A Mum from school I am close to but hard for us to go out, a friend I have known about 17 years but she has two children and like me is a single Mum so hard to get out, another who is a single mum of two who is hard to arrange to go out with or if we do arrange something she will cancel and a very close friend who lives miles away!!!
I went out last night to a reunion which 20 odd people said they were coming to, thinking it would be nice to reconnect with friends from the past and only 4 others turned up!! All of who I have contact with already!!!
I have got to the point where am beginning to think I am going to stay single for the rest of my life!!!LOL.x

Yep, I will hold my hand up as a Billy no mates. I have one mate who lives locally but who has just had a baby so really busy at the mo. My two other mates live quite far away so don't see very often, it's mainly phone calls and skype. I have met a few people through DP but wouldn't call them friends just yet, maybe in the future. They are all very nice. I put it down to having DS young and missing out on all the bonding over nights out etc. Never mind.

I've never been any good at making friends and I alway blamed my experiences at school for that. Moved schools in yr 2 and was bullied pretty severely at the new school. I was labelled ginger-minger, lurgy-girl and a lesbian (because I clung to the one friend I had like glue). All these things were punished in very cruel ways.

By the time I got to secondary I was totally afraid of other kids and had no idea how to make friends. I managed a few in the first year but they swiftly vanished when the bullying started there as well.

My mum was adamant that college would be "my time" when I would come out of my shell, discover myself and shine. It was an indurance test, I managed one year.

I was sooo wary of people by this point that when I started working I just couldn't make friends, I really couldn't. Nowadays I've gotten over the traumas left from childhood and can function around people to an extent (although I do compulsively feel the need to control my environment to maintain my 'safety' and cannot handle clubs or pubs at all). I work in a team of women and we all get on really well but I have no real friends and no life outside of work. The problem is, the team laugh about people like that (I hide the fact that I am one). They all have their good mates and social groups outside. Besides family, who don't count because they're obliged to be around me, I have no one, just DP.

I've always thought it was just me, that I'm just a deeply unlikeable person. I'm truly amazed to see how many of us friendless people there are.

What's made it more noticeable lately (apart from no nominations for the ice bucket challenge) is that my 2 cousins who are my age got married recently. They both had huge hen odd full of lots of girls they are very close to and even bigger weddings with loads and loads of people there. My sisters and I were invited to the hen do's but I only managed to go to one and it was so eye-opening seeing how other people have lots of friends that they are close to and have stayed friends with for years. Reaffirmed the feeling of just being unlikeable tbh...

Now I'm pregnant with my first but have no one close enough to share the joy with before the 3 month mark. I have told my mum but even my sisters are 12-week people

The Jilly No Mates Mutual Appreciation Society now exists. If you can't find it (dd has tried and can) let me know. Not a secret group.

Me too! It is crap, but I'm used to it now. I wouldn't say I've given up on friendships exactly, but I've come to accept that making friends when you're a relatively quiet sahm to two young dc is difficult, and I've learnt to focus on my dc and dh for now. Would love one or two close friends though! I think something that makes it seem a bit worse for me is that I'm only in my mid-20s, and most people my age seem (based on facebook, which I realise is not always an accurate representation!) to be in the prime of their socialising years. I'm tempted by the fb group, but I think joining it might shatter the apathetic façade I try to maintain re. my status as a friendless loser

Op your friends are rude twats

You sound lovely. I stopped bothering with people like this (had loads of them) and generally stopped giving a shit and just did my own thing. Perhaps as a consequence to my attitude I actually would class myself as popular now and I'm never short of invitations calls texts Facebook messages etc (sorry if that sounds big headed)

Ps If you're in the midlands I'll be your friend

I only have one friend really my family don't really bother with me

Realised I was on my own after seeing photos of a surprise party sister held for bil and we were the only ones not there

Group details:

Is this a closed FB group? I dont want my other facebook "friends" to know about this.

Can't seem to find the group could someone link me pretty please?

I posted a screenshot of the group earlier - it's closed no one can see the posts but can see name and members.
Really fed up with how hard it is now!
If you type The Jilly the rest should come up. Weird!

Www.facebook.com/groups/The Jilly No Mates Mutual Appreciation Society

I can't find it!!

I can't find it either

Me neither

I think it can take time for newly set up pages and groups to filter through the entire of facebook. I had this a while ago when I set up a new company page!

No mates here either. None, not a one. I've lived in this area now for 11 years and I'm still treated as a complete outsider. There's no breaking the iron wall here. So I work from home by myself, I go shopping by myself and have coffee by myself. At school drop off people smile and are polite but they all have their own friends from childhood. No newbies allowed. When I can find the group I'll definitely be joining!

Oh another not nominated for the ice bucket thingy, not even by family.

Me too, I've got used to not having anyone to talk to. I had a couple of 'friends', but was 'wendied' out of a group by a nasty women and my other 'friend' only contacted me when she felt like it or needed something. I do think it makes you stronger but it is lonely.

Can I join too? This weekend I've really felt alone - worried sick about dd starting new school and no one to talk to until I bumped into someone who I'm friends with but not close and ended up crying in the damn supermarket . Everyone I know has partners so I get left out of nights out unless it's 'the girls' ie once every 4 months.....and being on my own I can't get out to join clubs (hence why mn is a lifeline for me). I know plenty of people, have a few friends but no one I'd consider a mate. And every so often I feel so down about it but feel stuck.....and doubt my ability to be a good friend as it's been like this for so long

Thank you so much for starting this thread.

Having become a sahm 18 months ago, giving up a successful City career, I've realised I don't have friends any more. I was so career focussed that the few friendships I maintained was hard enough and all my other socialising was with work "friends". Living in an area of Central London with a transient expat population means finding some friends is pretty much impossible, especially as I'm not an expat.

I think going to a top all-girls school and having experienced the bitchiness of girls, being the token poor non-white girl in the class, has made me subconsciously steer clear of friendships with women since. But having a mainly male circle of friends was great fun when we were all free and single, but gets a bit awkward once we're married with kids.

Can I join the Jilly No Mates facebook group?

Btw, I am an only child, too.

Just C+p'd the link and it wouldn't let me

Anyone can join! It's really hard though - I don't know why you guys can't find it! I've sent my FB details to the PMers and if you friend request me I can add you to the group. I'd anyone sends me an email address I can invite you by email to join.
The four of us are lonely!

I'm in the same boat too. I will check outthe fb page. If anyone in Glasgow or surrounding area fancies a chat and coffee i'd be up for that .