Bridesmaid asked to pay for free room

[kellibabylove]

I probably am being unreasonable about this so havn't said anything to the 'grooms'. I'm a 'brides'maid at a wedding this summer for an old friend who I see quite alot so I know all about the wedding planning. Basically the hotel have messed up in a good way and gave them more free rooms at the hotel than they have paid for, contracts signed so nothing the hotel can do about it now.
So my friend has asked me to stay over after the wedding as he would like all the wedding party and family to stay, and id like to, although the venue is only 20 minutes taxi ride home so we don't really need to. My friend has asked me to pay for the extra free room 'at a discount'. I feel like they're trying to make a profit from the free rooms and it makes me feel abit
I'm spending alot of money for the day on my hair, accessories & shoes which of course I don't mind paying.
I don't know whether I should just get a taxi home afterwards because I feel taken advantage of considering it's a free room and the best men dont have to pay but I'm expected to.
Any thoughts?

[slithytove]

I love how some posters assume it's the bride

[MrsKoala]

Is this a wedding of two men OP? Not that it's relevant. it's just that i read it as such with 'grooms' plural and 'brides'maid and everyone else seems to be saying 'she' and 'bride' and my brain is confused.

Anyway, regardless. they are cheeky fuckers. Trying to claw back money from guests is outrageous. They have chosen the wedding so the cost is up to them.

I would tell them i think it's cheeky and i'd rather go home than be made money out of.

[AgaPanthers]

Well she is the bride's maid....

[StealthPolarBear]

And where has the op said shes payingg for her dress. Maybe ive missed it

[slithytove]

OP also refers to 'he' several times in the post, meaning that it's not a bride who has told her this.

You can be a bridesmaid and still be told things by the groom but clearly people have fallen into a bridezilla stereotype or don't read properly

[gorionine]

I'm spending alot of money for the day on my hair, accessories & shoes which of course I don't mind paying.

There is no mention of the dress that I could see either. Not sure it makes a difference to the room thing though, but maybe it does.

[slithytove]

OP, if you are an attendant for the groom, I would say you are more of a best woman.

[ChristopherRobin]

I think the same as you MrsKoala - there are two grooms and no bride, hence the 'brides'maid. Love how loads of people are assuming there's a bridezilla there somewhere!

[ViviPru]

Groomsmaid?

[iK8]

I think I misread the op SPB and she's not had to buy her own dress.

[slithytove]

When I got married, we paid to take our whole (boutique ) hotel. We did this as we knew people would want to stay onsite and wanted to make sure that rooms were not booked up.

We gave rooms to: us, PIL, best man, bridesmaid, my parents. The other rooms were offered to guests at the price it cost us.

We made no money, and the discount we were offered was passed on to whoever booked the rooms.

Seemed fair at the time. I would say in OP's example, they should either be offering the whole wedding party free rooms, or equally discounted rooms. Not a mix of both. And certainly not when they are the ones who want OP to stay the night.

[slithytove]

vivi

[Aeroflotgirl]

Whatever set up it is, they are very rude and cheeky, as bridesmaid, you should not be paying anything!!

[kellibabylove]

Theyve paid for the dress. Im paying for accessories, shoes and hair. I dont have a problem with this.
Its the fact they have asked me and the rest of the wedding party to stay and asked me to pay for one of the free rooms

[slithytove]

Oh and fwiw, we paid for my bridesmaids dress, hair, accessories and makeup.

Nothing for the blokes though as they were hiring suits anyway.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Well Kelli tell them what you were going to say about preferring to get a taxi home and not affording paying for a free room especially as they asked you! How cheeky!

[mumaa]

just say you can't afford it, a taxi home is cheaper - what a cheek!!

[slithytove]

Kelli - don't look at it as free rooms, look at it as 12 rooms they got included in their wedding package cheaper than market rate.

In which case, they should either - offer the wedding party the rooms at said discounted rate (making no money)

Or offer the wedding party rooms for free.

Not mix and match.

[DollyWosits]

Wow, that's really outrageous and really grabby.
I would tell him/her/them that you don't want to pay and I would tell them why. I'd be polite but I would let them know.

I'd have a rethink about how much cash I was giving them too.

[littlepeas]

I used to be a wedding coordinator at a very posh hotel. We had an exclusive use package, which included all bedrooms (40ish rooms) and couples almost always charged their guests for the rooms. My sister had an exclusive use wedding last year and we paid for our rooms. I actually think this is fairly standard for hotel weddings, although it is a bit crap to ask some people to pay, but not others.

[justmuddlingalong]

How about some Brasso for their necks instead of a money gift!

[slithytove]

And yes, it's not like you were otherwise going to pay full rate on a room, so it's pointless - they want you to stay, they should facilitate it.

[Aeroflotgirl]

That's the thing little, he is asking some to pay and some not which isent fair, and he asked op to stay at the hotel

[slithytove]

I don't have an issue with charging at all, there is no reason for the wedding couple to put everyone up.

But making a profit on the rooms doesn't sit right.

[MrsKoala]

When i was planning my first wedding a lot of the hotels did a thing where they charged, say £6k for the package and included in that was x amount of rooms for 'free' (obviously not free as you are paying for the package ). What they all suggested was that we charge guests y amount, and the hotel would bill them and deduct all the costs from 'our' part of the package. If all rooms were full it would mean we only paid £4k and the guests paid the rest. They got the rooms and the hotel still made their £6k.

So in this circumstance, when everyone is paying and it's actually a deal with the hotel, then i can see it being more acceptable. But not the way the 'grooms' have done it.