Bridesmaid asked to pay for free room

[kellibabylove]

I probably am being unreasonable about this so havn't said anything to the 'grooms'. I'm a 'brides'maid at a wedding this summer for an old friend who I see quite alot so I know all about the wedding planning. Basically the hotel have messed up in a good way and gave them more free rooms at the hotel than they have paid for, contracts signed so nothing the hotel can do about it now.
So my friend has asked me to stay over after the wedding as he would like all the wedding party and family to stay, and id like to, although the venue is only 20 minutes taxi ride home so we don't really need to. My friend has asked me to pay for the extra free room 'at a discount'. I feel like they're trying to make a profit from the free rooms and it makes me feel abit
I'm spending alot of money for the day on my hair, accessories & shoes which of course I don't mind paying.
I don't know whether I should just get a taxi home afterwards because I feel taken advantage of considering it's a free room and the best men dont have to pay but I'm expected to.
Any thoughts?

[slithytove]

Depends what package they took out...

My friends are getting married and in that package, the room rate is reduced and they get their honeymoon suite.

We are travelling so they have said we can have a discounted room (rather than pay more for the premier inn) this money is going to the hotel as normal, and doesn't reduce their package, as they haven't paid for any rooms within that iykwim?

When we married, we booked and paid for all the rooms in advance so we knew there was availability. So when guests then booked a room, technically that money was being refunded to us - but only because we paid for it in advance. Nothing to do with the wedding package.

Rooms costing money is fine, rooms being paid for by guests so b&g don't have to is fine (why should b&g house guests?). What is not fine is paying for some of the wedding party to stay there and not others, and demanding that people who can't afford a hotel room pay for one.

[Calloh]

If it was originally 6 rooms, £80 a room then that's £480. If they actually received 12 rooms then, if the discount was passed around, each room would be £40 so they have definitely not spread the win.

They shouldn't claim the rooms given in error - apart from anything else presumably they actually want the hotel on side on the day and not feeling pissed off, ripped off and wanting revenge.

[KoalaFace]

Hmmm scathing retort for when he next asks...

I think I'd go with:

"Oh you've just reminded me! I ordered a new vase for the living room online. Cost £100. The daft sods have sent me 2 but only charged for the one! So I thought, instead of giving you money for a wedding gift I could give you the beautiful vase and you could give me just £40 for it! What do you think?"

[kellibabylove]

Haha thats brilliant Koala!!

And no theyre not passing the discount around. Half the wedding party are given a free room. Whereas the rest of us need to pay the G&G £60 cash on a hush hush basis. The hotel are now classing these rooms as free and have no idea. I only know this because I see my friend alot.
Theyve said £60 so I think "wow £20 off" thinking I wouldnt book with hotel now.
I have no problem with paying for a room. I have a problem with the double standards and the sheer rudeness as they asked me to stay.

[slithytove]

So you would have to give the wedding couple cash for the room?

[MargotLovedTom]

I am imagining them sitting on their bed in the honeymoon suite counting and recounting the cash they've fleeced from their guests instead of having rumpy pumpy like normal newly weds.

[Aeroflotgirl]

They should really tell the hotel about the error, very dishonest of them.

[eddielizzard]

they are behaving appallingly. i would not be staying.

i'd say well as i'm already paying ££ for hair etc. and your gift won't be cheap i actually can't afford to pay for a room on top of all that.

[NotNewButNameChanged]

I'm not sure I'd want to be a 'brides'maid for people who thought it was OK to fleece/treat friends like that. Seriously. I'd tell them to do one and leave them in the lurch.

[ChasedByBees]

I think I'd be re-thinking being a bridesmaid for them too, that is just too rude.

[BauerTime]

When they ask you to confirm, you could pretend you thought they were joking about payment?

I don't understand the people saying you shouldn't automatically expect to get the room for free as they have paid as part of their package for the rooms. They haven't paid for the rooms, the ones they have paid for they have decided to gift to half of the wedding party. Its only now they have realised the have more rooms 'for free' that they have decided to charge. Disgusting behaviour IMO.

If you want to stay then make it clear that it will be in lieu of a wedding gift as paying for both would exceed your budget for the wedding which has already set you back x amount.

[MBT1987]

I would:

Tell the 'groom' that the 'bride' has pulled this stunt
Tell the hotel that the 'bride' is sub-letting the free rooms at £60 a pop
Tell the 'bride' to go swivel
Tell the backup 'bride'smaid to watch out for this shit.

I completely agree with Pumpkinpositive. The 'bride' is a cunt.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

I'd be glad to get a room in a nice hotel for £60 and not have to go home. Can use the room all day, pop up there to change, have some peace and quiet. Probably got tea and coffee in there.

I'd have paid full price for that to be honest. At least by giving it to you at a discount you both get something out of it.

Stay and enjoy the evening and don't begrudge your friend a little bit a good luck she had on her wedding day

[StealthPolarBear]

Any update op?

[TheNumberfaker]

Hmm...
if they needed (for example) 20 rooms in total and expected to get 6 free but actually got 12 for free, then there would be 8 left to pay for.
8x £80= £640. They were expecting 14 rooms to be paid for so divide that £640 by the 14 rooms and get everyone using those to share the saving. So about £46 each.
To be honest I think only those who have contributed to the wedding should get a free room, so perhaps parents of the bridal couple and anyone who's had to shell out on essential clothes/hair etc. I think that includes you, OP!

[KitKat1985]

YANBU. You think they would be happy that they could offer one of their bridesmaids a room for free given that it's not going to cost them anything?! I'd definitely say that you'll get a taxi home.

[whatever5]

I would just say that you will get a taxi home if you don't want to pay for the room. I don't really think anyone should try to profit from the hotels mistake. The bride and groom are being a bit foolish as the hotel will probably claw the money back somehow anyway. They would be better off contacting the hotel about the mistake.

[wobblyweebles]

They definitely should be getting an Oxfam goat as their wedding present :-)

[IwinIwin]

YANBU OP and the fact that this is 'hush hush' means the groom knows this as well. Cheeky wanker. I'd find out cab prices to and from the venue and then I'd inform him that while it's nice of him (heavy sarcasm here) you will be getting a cab because the cost works out better for you and that you're already contributing time, money, yourself and a present or give them their wedding present less the price of the room since they've 'collected some back' that way already. I wonder how the other guests would feel if they know, I would be mighty pissed and rethinking the present I'd hand over if I knew my friend was charging me for a room because he wanted extra money towards his wedding.

It's no different to charging a bloody entrance fee. You suck up wedding cost, you know some people won't turn up-meaning you 'waste money' on food and the like- but you suck it up because (hopefully) you want all the people you've invited there so much that you'd rather waste money then miss out on someone's company. We've been given a half dozen sparkling wine bottles free for the evening guests to go behind the bar due to a cock up by the venue, I wouldn't dream of asking for money for them to recoup costs. It's just going to be a nice surprise for everyone then.

I'm really disgusted on your behalf OP, very groomzilla! It shows that grooms can be just as 'zillary' so when people insist that there has to be a 'bridezilla' forcing things behind all wedding related crap that their male friends tell them...well it shows that that's not always true. Their dear groom friends may be just on board or even the instigator.

[MrsKoala]

Can people stop saying Bride. There is only 2 grooms in this scenario. NO BRIDES.

[IwinIwin]

There's always a bridezilla, MrsKoala, at least that's what I've found everyone automatically sees as the 'default'. Even when people rant on here, on fb and weddingbee about what their groom friends have said/done that's zillary there's always the implication that there has to be the bride behind it pushing it forward or causing it.

Not that the groom is capable of being a shit all by himself or being the shitty instigator or being in complete agreement with his spouse.It annoys me too whenever there's a wedding rant it's always bridezilla when actually later down the line you see it's groomzilla or guestzilla.

OPs post highlights just how men can be the ones leading the shit.

[IwinIwin]

And that's whether it's two grooms or just the one.

[whatever5]

The confusion is due to the fact that the OP calls herself the "bridesmaid" in the title.

[MrsKoala]

'bridesmaid' is just a generic term for a woman in the wedding party wearing a matching frock isn't it? I have never thought it was literal and expected any of them to be actual 'maids' or anything. All the male gay weddings i know of have referred to 'bridesmaids' and no one was confused.

[cerealqueen]

I'm appalled at this. It reminds me of when a friend of mine wanted me to buy some free train tickets off her, as they were to the town where I was visiting my ill mother in hospital, and she had no use for them. She knew I still had to go and buy tickets was really pissed off when I refused to.

The shameless profiteering! he knows you know the room is free but still asking you to pay, and assume, I imagine that you'll still like him?!