Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bridesmaid asked to pay for free room

232 replies

kellibabylove · 05/06/2014 13:08

I probably am being unreasonable about this so havn't said anything to the 'grooms'. I'm a 'brides'maid at a wedding this summer for an old friend who I see quite alot so I know all about the wedding planning. Basically the hotel have messed up in a good way and gave them more free rooms at the hotel than they have paid for, contracts signed so nothing the hotel can do about it now.
So my friend has asked me to stay over after the wedding as he would like all the wedding party and family to stay, and id like to, although the venue is only 20 minutes taxi ride home so we don't really need to. My friend has asked me to pay for the extra free room 'at a discount'. I feel like they're trying to make a profit from the free rooms and it makes me feel abit Hmm

I'm spending alot of money for the day on my hair, accessories & shoes which of course I don't mind paying.
I don't know whether I should just get a taxi home afterwards because I feel taken advantage of considering it's a free room and the best men dont have to pay but I'm expected to.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 05/06/2014 13:28

another way of looking at it: if they got 11 rooms for the price of ten, is to consider each of the rooms discounted by 10%, regardless of who pays for them.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/06/2014 13:29

No way how cheeky. I would decline and tell them you thought they had free rooms already.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/06/2014 13:31

Politely decline and get that taxi home, how cheeky you have to pay, and the grooms party do not!

Original poster
kellibabylove · 05/06/2014 13:32

They should have 6 free rooms but instead have been given 12. They want paying for the extra six at £60 instead of £80.

I don't think I can't not say anything. I think it'll be along the lines of "I think i'll be getting a taxi home as we don't have money to pay for what is a free room"

OP posts:
ViviPru · 05/06/2014 13:34

It's immaterial if you have the money to pay or not. And none of his business. If you had all the money in the world and burned tenners for fun, you didn't ought to be paying. What a Dickhead.

specialsubject · 05/06/2014 13:34

this is the hotel's problem. It certainly isn't yours!

FannyFifer · 05/06/2014 13:35

I would be rethinking being a bridesmaid, don't sound like real friends at all, fuck that!

NoodleOodle · 05/06/2014 13:37

Somebody with a longer journey than yours might actually appreciate a discounted room. So I'd pass, tell them you'll get a taxi, and that if they don't manage to sell on the room it would a nice if you could use it for free but stress that you could only accept it as a perk as you're already contributing financially towards the wedding via dress and other expenses.

justmuddlingalong · 05/06/2014 13:38

If you're a good enough friend to be 'brides'maid, then you should be able to pull him up on this. What a grabby thing to do. Taking double the amount of rooms for free is mean too. They could and should only take the 6 rooms as planned.

StealthPolarBear · 05/06/2014 13:38

I dont think op is paying for dress?

NoodleOodle · 05/06/2014 13:39

Are they charging anything for the first six rooms too, or only the extra ones? It would seem much fairer to me if they asked for a £30 donation towards all of the rooms - you could suggest this?

gorionine · 05/06/2014 13:41

They should have 6 free rooms but instead have been given 12. They want paying for the extra six at £60 instead of £80.

I'm thinking they are going to loose a few friends for the sake of getting back some money they have not spent in the first place. Silly really.

Stinkle · 05/06/2014 13:42

I'd be getting a taxi

To be honest, I think it's pretty shabby to hold the hotel to the mistake in the first place, let alone wanting people to pay for something they're getting for free

gorionine · 05/06/2014 13:44

That is actually a great ides *NoodleOodle, it would avoid having to decode actually which rooms are free and make some of the guest feel like second rate guests if they have to pay for a 'non-free' room.

gorionine · 05/06/2014 13:45

What/ decide. not decode! don't know what happened there.

momb · 05/06/2014 13:48

They didn't get ;'free' rooms though did they? They paid for some rooms as part of their wedding package ('included'). So what they have now is 12 rooms for the bargain price of 6. The venue is aware and it's all above board. I think that it's reasonable that they offer some rooms at a bargain price to those who would be staying anyway. They certanly won't be making a profit: no-one ever does on a wedding. If you weren't planning on staying and can't make use of the cheap room then don't, but try not to be so irate, i'm sure that they aren't thinking of it from the same viewpoint at all.

iK8 · 05/06/2014 13:53

What a cheeky pair! No of course you shouldn't pay them for the free room. Why are they not mortified a bridesmaid has paid for her own dress?

Sounds like these grooms want a wedding they cannot afford. A rational person would scale things back. A twerp would ask you to subsidise the shebang.

ViviPru · 05/06/2014 13:54

I think that it's reasonable that they offer some rooms at a bargain price to those who would be staying anyway perhaps, but only if all the guests staying that 'bargain' price. It's still not fair that the OP has been asked to pay when the groomsmen haven't just because she wasn't on priority first dibs accommodation list.

Either the B&G have a policy that friends taking advantage of the package they (the B&G) chose or they don't.

SpicyPear · 05/06/2014 13:55

YANBU - he's an outrageous dickhead. A nice person would be think, "wow, great that the hotel have messed up and more of our friends can stay!"

Blithereens · 05/06/2014 13:56

What?? He's having a giraffe, isn't he? Tell him to bugger off. You are not responsible for paying for his wedding.

lottieandmias · 05/06/2014 13:56

YANBU - she's trying to make money out of you - that is not on at all.

SuchSweetSorrow · 05/06/2014 13:58

bloody hell, what a cheek! I would also get a taxi instead

Aeroflotgirl · 05/06/2014 14:03

I would tell him just that tbh, it's taking the blooming piss. Asking you to pay for your hair shows and accessories us Shock. If you ask that person to be bridesmaid you pay for all or don't have as many. I paid for all my BM things, it was me who asked them!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/06/2014 14:03

Recouping costs by charging you for a free room? Nice.

expatinscotland · 05/06/2014 14:03

Grabby fecker. I would tell him why I was declining and that's a shoddy way to treat friends.