WIBU for dh to take a big pay cut and for us to claim more tax credits?

[balenciaga]

I was going to nc for this as I think I'm gona be told we are being v v U. But fuck it am on my phone and can't nc on it and CBA to put laptop on to do it

Anyway. Dh has a new job. It's 32k, on that, we get 48 a week tcs with 3 dc (believe it or not that's ok money where we are)

However dh hates his new job, it's stupidly long hours and very stressful with no sign of letting up. I know it sounds pathetic but he has been in tears over it. we have a new (ish) born baby as well and he's never bloody here. And when he is, he is a tired mess and no good to any of us. He has a contact that has offered him a job working for him but it's only 20k

However it's a huge drop. And we initially thought he can't possibly take it as we would be skint. But then we did a calculation on hmrc site and worked out that if he took the new job we could claim higher tcs which would take us up to around a similar income, a bit less but not much

New job dh could do with his eyes closed and it's much less hours and easier work. So he will have a better work life balance and not be making himself Poorly with stress

But the idea of claiming more tcs doesn't sit right with me, and I also worry that soon they'll be put a stop to anyway

So I'm putting this to the mn jury...ps: fwiw I will be going back to work in a few months so we would not claim them long term

[LadyNexus]

Yes just the one, we couldn't afford more :) (though I'd love more)

[TheFairyCaravan]

Be honest, if you couldn't get the tax credit top up on the £20k job, would he stick it out in the job he has now?

[DamnBamboo]

Should he battle on and risk his mental health? The man has been in tears already

Don't play the gender card. Plenty of women cry with stress and they get through it.

And I think there is a responsibility to himself (first and foremost) to see how he can cope, not just give up.

Also, why not look for a similar paying job, why just take an easier one that can be done with his eyes closed?

[EagerBeaver101]

TC's are just your money being given back to you your DH has earned them its nothing to be ashamed of. im guessing you live down south ? i'm up north and 32K a year is a dream wage for most of us up here. ever considered moving? we see OH's family down south once or twice a year its not as bad as it sounds. it would be a good opportunity if you could pull it off and a 3-4 bed house only cost 80K up here with a garden

[BobPatandIgglePiggle]

I wasnt playing the gender card. How ridiculous to assume I was. I just said 'the man' because I don't know his name. Fuck all to do with gender.

[DamnBamboo]

Fair enough bob
I responded regardless as to what I think should be done.
My view of course!

[WooWooOwl]

TC's are just your money being given back to you your DH has earned them its nothing to be ashamed of.

Tax credits are not your own money being given back to you. If that were true, they would only be claimable by people who pay tax, and as many people with no income apart from benefits claims them, you are wrong.

I can understand wanting to take advantage of a screwed up system for an easy life, but at the same time I do think it's pretty shameful to take money from the state to pay for three children when you are capable of providing for them yourself.

[DamnBamboo]

How about people just work and top up where they need to, rather thinking about taking what they can and topping up with work for the rest!

Completely different viewpoint.

[DamnBamboo]

Tax credits are claimed by people who pay no tax at all!

Just for the record.

It isn't your money being back to you in may cases.

[DamnBamboo]

are also claimed...

your money being paid back to you ...

Jesus, sorry for the typos

[TheFairyCaravan]

TC's are just your money being given back to you your DH has earned them its nothing to be ashamed of.

Really? We'd better ring HMRC then because they are forgetting to give DH his money back!

[Viviennemary]

He should take the lower paid job. It's not going to help anyone if he gets ill with stress.

[WooWooOwl]

He could take the lower paid job without claiming benefits. They could budget and live within their means, or the OP could go back to work sooner.

[DamnBamboo]

No one is saying he shouldn't take the lower paid job!

[EagerBeaver101]

thefairycaravan maybe he isn't entitled ??
Tax Credits ( if you're working) are your wages being credited back to you hence the name but yes if you're not working then they are the taxpayers money and i don't get why people can claim them this country really needs to start rewarding hard work more it seems (cliche) the lazy people in this country get the most perks paid for by the taxpayer.

[Fairylea]

If the cost of living in this country wasn't so high people could manage to support themselves on a minimum to low wage job without the need of tax credits.

In the 1950s for example whole families were supported by one man working in a relatively low paid job with one parent at home. I'm not saying that is something to aspire to but nowadays most families cannot work like that due to the high cost of fuels and food. The low or minimum wage is not enough for a family to survive.

The system does not reward work. I myself am a sahm because my dh works full time in a just barely over minimum wage job (which is normal in our area - he is a graduate) and if I went back to work in my old job or an equivalent we would be £40 a month better off, which would just about cover my petrol to work and nothing else. Who in their right mind would work for nothing?

And this is coming from the woman who when I had my first child many years ago I went back to work when dd was 12 weeks old, getting two buses to and from the nursery and then work and making only £20 a week profit because there were no tax credits.

Op I don't think you are being unreasonable. The whole country is screwed, wages are too low, tax credits bridge the gap. Who wouldn't use them? No one would question it if your dh already had that £20k job.

[WooWooOwl]

Tax Credits ( if you're working) are your wages being credited back to you hence the name

Not necessarily, many people that claim working tax credits don't earn enough to pay tax. The name was a labour government marketing stunt to make it sound more palatable than benefits.

[TheFairyCaravan]

No he isn't EagerBeaver, he earns just over the threshold.

Don't preach to me about rewarding hard work! DH is coming up for 50. He still serves in the RAF, he is my carer because I am disabled and won't chuck the towel in because we have 2 kids who we will need to see through university for the next 4 years! He is stressed to fuck!

[Fairylea]

Eager, so how do you suggest those who work in low paid jobs manage to survive then? Because without tax credits many of those families will not. People who claim working tax credits work just the wages are too low to manage.

[Fluffy40]

Take the lower paid job, we did the same four years ago. Yes, we have some savings too , we have been lucky.

[DamnBamboo]

we have been lucky

assuming your situation is the same as the OPs, then 'lucky is one way to describe it.

[jellybeans]

YANBU

Our society is screwed up, not fair at all. Rich people are ripping off much more than people on low pay claim in tax credits. I would do what makes you happy, one of you is working f/t so what is the problem? I don't think everyone should have to have both parents in work, how is that progress? We should be working less not more.

[jellybeans]

Wages are rubbish now. Imagine doing an hours hard physical graft such as cleaning or labourer and what you would get in a basket at the supermarket for 6 quid. Pathetic. Everything has gone up stupidfold compared with wages.