WIBU for dh to take a big pay cut and for us to claim more tax credits?

[balenciaga]

I was going to nc for this as I think I'm gona be told we are being v v U. But fuck it am on my phone and can't nc on it and CBA to put laptop on to do it

Anyway. Dh has a new job. It's 32k, on that, we get 48 a week tcs with 3 dc (believe it or not that's ok money where we are)

However dh hates his new job, it's stupidly long hours and very stressful with no sign of letting up. I know it sounds pathetic but he has been in tears over it. we have a new (ish) born baby as well and he's never bloody here. And when he is, he is a tired mess and no good to any of us. He has a contact that has offered him a job working for him but it's only 20k

However it's a huge drop. And we initially thought he can't possibly take it as we would be skint. But then we did a calculation on hmrc site and worked out that if he took the new job we could claim higher tcs which would take us up to around a similar income, a bit less but not much

New job dh could do with his eyes closed and it's much less hours and easier work. So he will have a better work life balance and not be making himself Poorly with stress

But the idea of claiming more tcs doesn't sit right with me, and I also worry that soon they'll be put a stop to anyway

So I'm putting this to the mn jury...ps: fwiw I will be going back to work in a few months so we would not claim them long term

[DamnBamboo]

We should be working less not more

Assuming we all take this view, who the hell is going to pay for everything?

[Fideliney]

Damn do you realise you sound a bit a lot repetitive and hectoring?

OP is a longterm MNer who has been brave enough to post under her usual NN. The multiple critical posts are a bit much.

[BobPatandIgglePiggle]

Sometimes WooWoo, not always.

My dp's employers restructured when I was pregnant. He was offered his old job at 10k less. Maybe manageable if he was on 60k. He was on 30 - after restructure would have been 20k.

We chose to have ds on his old wage -not the new one.

[jellybeans]

I don't believe both of a couple should have to be in f/t work. In my eyes caring for young children is a job in itself.

I don't see progress as both in a couple working 40 hrs a week and most people don't want that as many studies have shown many want one or both to work p/t or one SAH.

OP's husband is in f/t work so what is the problem whether someone claims TC to help SAH or to help work/pay for CC?

Low wages are the main problem.

[balenciaga]

Aww Thanks fideline

(Although technically it was less "brave" and more CBA to get laptop switch on laptop log on to mn and nc )

[DamnBamboo]

Why are they critical. I've not once attacked the OP personally. Just given my view on the situation. And many of my responses are to other people's point.

So thanks for the moderating, but mumsnet doesn't bother with it so not sure why you need to.

[Fideliney]

If he gets so ill with stress, then working at all should be reviewed?

That's ridiculous and rather a personal insult to the OP's DH, but I assume that was your intention DamnBamboo?

Where is your basis for suggesting he isn't capable of work?

Another thread taking a sharp turn towards the bad.

[DamnBamboo]

If he gets so ill with stress, then working at all should be reviewed?s

How the hell is that a personal insult? If stress is an issue, I'm saying that it should quite rightly be reviewed. Some people are too ill to be working with stress. That's my point. If that's the case for this job, then fair enough.

I didn't say he was incapable of work at all.

What don't you get about that fairly transparent post.

Love, love the way when somebody goes against the grain, people misread and purposely interpret things out of context.

[DamnBamboo]

Another thread taking a sharp turn towards the bad

then don't steer it that way with your wilfully incorrect interpretations.

[BIWI]

Firstly, I'm sorry that your DH is under such stress. It's horrible to be in that situation - it happened to me once and I did end up in hospital, so I do understand.

However, the situation he's in doesn't mean that he should just drop his new job for the one he's been offered without trying to sort out what's going on.

Why is he being asked to work such long hours? Is it just him? Is he being bullied by his line manager? Has he talked to his HR department about these hours? Did he know he was going to be asked to do this?

He has to talk to someone at work about it and engineer better working conditions.

If that doesn't work, then he could consider looking for another job, but one that you can afford for him to take.

You can't afford for him to drop so much money.

YABVU to suggest that he could do so, and then you rely on the Government for a hand out.

The welfare system, as maligned as it is (and as badly organised as it seems to be) is there to help people in genuine need, and not as a lifestyle choice. How you think you aren't playing the system by suggesting this as a course of action is beyond me.

[Fideliney]

DamnBamboo the OP couldn't have been clearer that her DH's stress is entirely a result of the hugely excessive demands of this specific job.

Yet you have tried to suggest the idea of him working AT ALL should be 'reviewed' if that isn't cattiness then WTF is it?

[Fideliney]

Why does every personal benefits/tax credit dilemma thread attract some political droner or other banging insensitively on?

YW balen

[DamnBamboo]

Yes fide but at no time has she suggested that a proper plan has been put in place to attempt to deal with it.

The suggestion is simply resign and take tax credits.

Myself and others have suggested of ways to address this, without first resigning to a lower paid job and seeking tax credits.

Very very clear!

But it's also clear that you read what you want.

[Fideliney]

How about just going easy on a real person with a real dilemma and a lot of RL stress?

[DamnBamboo]

There you go again, trying to moderate.

Wrong website hun

And thanks but I will say what I want, this is AIBU and the comments are fairly moderate already.

[sarahquilt]

Work is stressful; that's just a fact of life. It's a crazy system that allows people to do this. If you want money you need to earn it. I'm glad they're reforming the benefits system.

[sarahquilt]

Work is stressful; that's just a fact of life. It's a crazy system that allows people to do this. If you want money you need to earn it. I'm glad they're reforming the benefits system.

[Fideliney]

And thanks but I will say what I want

You can say what you want but everyone else has to shut up when you say so? I see.

[Fideliney]

I hope you're ok OP

I wouldn't worry too much about the 'MN jury' one way or the other on the subject of TC for what? Eight months? Less maybe

[Dropdeadfred2]

do you have a mortgage?? if you wish to move for rent or. mortgage your salary would be counted but not your tax credits. that would worry me

[BumCrapulence]

Does it matter what other people on here think? I've never shared my finances with anyone and do what's best for our family. If claiming tax credits makes life easier then do it.